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WONDER BIBLE

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zippyjet View Drop Down
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    Posted: 08 Jan 2018 at 11:19pm

Late night TV/networks like Decades are a treasure trove of bad commercials for WTF BUT WIT THERE'S MORE products that we didn't know we needed. Along comes the Wonder Bible. Looks like a little radio or charging device with a big fat cross. You can have your bible and hear it too 24/7. The guy's voice is deep broadcast quality but creepy clown sounding. And bonus hyms and gospells. Where

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zippyjet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Jan 2018 at 11:21pm

Where are the one's with a Star Of David and Jackie Mason's voice? How bout a Muslim one with the moon logo and an announcer with a Middle East accent? This commercial borders funny. God please forgive me if I'm shaking any burning bushes.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 2018 at 5:16am
You'd want the Wonder Torah and Wonder Koran for those...  Wink


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aka ron View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 2018 at 11:31am
More thoughts...

Direct Link To This Post Topic: Wonder Bible ! Take It Anywhere !
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote timdubya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 2018 at 9:13pm
I wonder if that guy who has it in his car will have his fly off the console in a hard turn?
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zippyjet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2018 at 2:30am
Originally posted by timdubya timdubya wrote:

I wonder if that guy who has it in his car will have his fly off the console in a hard turn?
 
Possible oops moment. Suppose it goes off with strange messages in tongue or levitates while driving? Imagine causing a multi car pileup/carbeque  on I-95? Driving while distracted, the devil made me do it. Or, imagine if that car got jacked and the carjacker didn't realize a talking bible was on the console and it started croaking prophetic verse!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Anduril Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2018 at 3:09am
I wonder if it floats?
 
Or, can survive being eaten by a whale.
Or, if it can turn into a pillar of salt.
Or, if it can have mini-wonder bible offspring via supernatural conception.
Or, if it can morph into frogs, lice or locusts (see: Plagues of Egypt.)
Or, if you throw it just right, can it part the Red Sea?
 
I'll stop now (before I get hit by lightning or something)...
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2018 at 6:15am
^^ I'd be more worried if it started talking strange & spitting gushes of pea soup.  Excorcisms of your device probably aren't covered under the warranty or service plan...  LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote usmaak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2018 at 2:39pm
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

^^ I'd be more worried if it started talking strange & spitting gushes of pea soup.  Excorcisms of your device probably aren't covered under the warranty or service plan...  LOL
Unless you buy the extended service plan.  Only $59.95 for three years of coverage!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tikibagger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2018 at 3:23pm
And .of course, Wonder Bible is TAX EXEMPT and totally non-prophet!
Baggin the tiki since the 90s
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2018 at 7:42pm
Originally posted by usmaak usmaak wrote:

Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

^^ I'd be more worried if it started talking strange & spitting gushes of pea soup.  Excorcisms of your device probably aren't covered under the warranty or service plan...  LOL
Unless you buy the extended service plan.  Only $59.95 for three years of coverage!
Don't you know in China they are making a red one with 666 and a goat devil motif on it that talks in tongue, spits out pea soup and talks in that deep satin voice!
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2018 at 5:55am
Unfortunately, most people would hold the phone upside down and wonder what the '999' means...  LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2018 at 11:05pm
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

Unfortunately, most people would hold the phone upside down and wonder what the '999' means...  LOL
 
Could stand for Herman Kain and 999
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Mar 2018 at 6:15pm
I just had to bring this back so I could dissect it, it makes me laugh!

Oh sure, get those chillins on the right track! The fake smiles are puke worthy!



A source of inspiration...until the thing goes on the floor and under your brake pedal. Let's hope you don't have that 'cut rate' car insurance.



For reflective contemplation? I'll bet that girl is sorry she plucked her own eyeballs out!



Spiritual restoration? "Don't worry, honey. The lord will pay all of these bills"

But just in case, you're still a hottie! I don't mind if you work nights, it is the oldest profession.

 

We can call your new employers 'Johns', things are looking up. Thank God!!






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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ALE515 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Mar 2018 at 6:34pm
Ya know Easter is on April Fools, this could make quite the gag gift! 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Mar 2018 at 6:36pm
^ aka ron those comments OMG! ROFL (Darts back and forth avoiding lightning strikes)
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Mar 2018 at 8:40pm
Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

I just had to bring this back so I could dissect it, it makes me laugh!

Oh sure, get those chillins on the right track! The fake smiles are puke worthy!



A source of inspiration...until the thing goes on the floor and under your brake pedal. Let's hope you don't have that 'cut rate' car insurance.



For reflective contemplation? I'll bet that girl is sorry she plucked her own eyeballs out!



Spiritual restoration? "Don't worry, honey. The lord will pay all of these bills"

But just in case, you're still a hottie! I don't mind if you work nights, it is the oldest profession.

 

We can call your new employers 'Johns', things are looking up. Thank God!!









Thanks a lot! I was perusing your posts while eating chicken. Boned bird that is I laughed so hard. "Hey honey, I bet the Lord will forgive you for turning tricks but to be sure, footjobs only! Also imagine your WB plugged up to a device while device is plugged into outlet. You are taking a tub bath or dropping those kids at the pool and your cat cuddles up to the WB and it gets Baptized! What a way to go!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Mar 2018 at 9:25pm
What would be funny is if someone who works for the company who puts the digital audio on the sound chip was able to put a bunch of hard core Satanic heavy metal right in the middle of every "chapter" or book as they are called in the Bible.


Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Mar 2018 at 9:46pm
^^^reminds me of the speaking 'Gremlin' toys Wallyworld once sold - and somehow, out of sheer luck I actually found, that had recorded cursing. I KNEW it was going to be worth a mint, but the Missus highly disapproved and it finally disappeared. How about a few choice phrases before each hard-core intro?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Anduril Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2018 at 1:43am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

What would be funny is if someone who works for the company who puts the digital audio on the sound chip was able to put a bunch of hard core Satanic heavy metal right in the middle of every "chapter" or book as they are called in the Bible.


 
They should put a G-Force sensor in it so that when you have a fatal car accident it starts playing..
 
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want..."
 
Now THAT would be a real hoot for EMS first responders!  Tongue
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2018 at 5:00pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

What would be funny is if someone who works for the company who puts the digital audio on the sound chip was able to put a bunch of hard core Satanic heavy metal right in the middle of every "chapter" or book as they are called in the Bible.


LOL  Be careful what you wish for. Wink

NSFW!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2018 at 5:20pm


I would've put some 2 Live Crew "Nasty As They Wanna Be" over the video.
Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2018 at 6:02pm
OMG!
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2018 at 9:07pm
Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

What would be funny is if someone who works for the company who puts the digital audio on the sound chip was able to put a bunch of hard core Satanic heavy metal right in the middle of every "chapter" or book as they are called in the Bible.



LOL  Be careful what you wish for. Wink

NSFW!




LMOF!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote commercialssuck Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Mar 2018 at 10:06am
Originally posted by tikibagger tikibagger wrote:

And .of course, Wonder Bible is TAX EXEMPT and totally non-prophet!


I see what you did there! Wink  Non-prophet (because, you know bible...religion...prophet) Surprised no one else caught your play on words.
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