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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: This Just In! Late Breaking News
    Posted: 17 hours 60 minutes ago at 5:59am
Psychiatric study claims that there is a good chance the person sitting next to you is a freak;  Researchers caution "not to confront or suddenly startle" them
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Nov 2018 at 5:26am
New natural diet makes you as thin and muscular as the animal that inspired it, the snake;  Most who have tried it say once you get over the initial "ick" factor, swallowing pink baby mice is easy and healthy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2018 at 6:15am
Histrionic SJWs call Sex Crimes police after hearing that Martha Stewart was going to spatchcock a turkey, claim to be #METOO victims;  Silly furor expected to result in a L&O: SVU episode being made
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Nov 2018 at 6:01am
Kids warned not to put gum under desks or chairs anymore;  School custodians using DNA to track down perpetrators, shave their heads
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Nov 2018 at 6:26am
Reports of another refugee caravan heading toward the border;  Convoy of Hollywood celebrities fearful of Trump slowly making their way to Canada;  Nobody is stopping them
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2018 at 5:39am
Harley-Davidson wusses out, introduces quiet electric motorcycle;  Sales to women expected to drop to zero, as new bike "doesn't rumble & roar"  <<IYKWIMAITYD


http://fortune.com/2018/11/06/harley-davidson-electric-motorcycle-livewire/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Nov 2018 at 5:26am
Latest bunch of tax-raising grifters elected into office;  Concerned citizens begin hiding cash under their mattresses
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Nov 2018 at 5:39am
Massive recall of 2019 Toyota Pomona automobiles;  Car maker forgot to include handles inside the doors so people could get out
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Nov 2018 at 4:35am
Pass the Little Debbie's and 2 buck chuck!  Worrying over elections can make you fat:  Democrats stress eating, stress drinking more than Republicans


https://freebeacon.com/culture/poll-democrats-stress-eating-drinking-republicans-table-due-midterms-stress/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Nov 2018 at 4:58am
Seven state recall of Swedish meatballs accidently made with horse meat;  Many thousands reported getting the trots
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Nov 2018 at 4:47am
84 year old woman with walker leads police on slow-speed chase after robbing bank;  Cops finally arrested her after she stopped to sit down for a rest

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Oct 2018 at 5:42am
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

Butthurt snowflakes get their way, force Apu to be dropped from The Simpsons;  Beloved Hindu character to be "disappeared" from series, while newly empowered SJWs victoriously wave the scalp they took as they look for their next victim
 
Waylen Smithers may be next -- he's a closet queen and we all know how the people who booted Apu would feel about that. Confused

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Oct 2018 at 4:39am
Butthurt snowflakes get their way, force Apu to be dropped from The Simpsons;  Beloved Hindu character to be "disappeared" from series, while newly empowered SJWs victoriously wave the scalp they took as they look for their next victim
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Oct 2018 at 4:41am
Thanks to gov't grant, your computer may soon be able to "love you";  Researchers claim it "will be the most perfect Censored you'll ever get!";  Porn sites clamoring for access to the new technology


https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/pa9nvv/the-blowjob-paper-scientists-processed-109-hours-of-oral-sex-to-develop-an-ai-that-sucks-dick-autoblow
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Oct 2018 at 6:08am
Public in more danger from bombs being dropped by comedians on late night shows than from terrorists;  People demanding "These people aren't funny!  Bring back Letterman, or even dig up Carson if you have to!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Oct 2018 at 5:10am
Sexual Harassment in the workplace, or Office Romance?  You decide!


https://nypost.com/2018/10/22/nypd-boss-accused-to-stuffing-her-panties-in-co-workers-mouth/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2018 at 5:43am
To protest, Amy Schumer announces that she will not do a Super Bowl commercial despite not even being asked to do one;  Nobody cares, except to be thankful she won't be wasting 30 seconds of their lives



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Oct 2018 at 6:07am
It's not your imagination, Europe really is teeming with bastards;  A surprising 60+% of children there are born out of wedlock
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Oct 2018 at 5:44am
Sex doll rental company will make a replica of your dead lover;  Note that the small print explicitly states the replica is a "rental" and you will have to share with others

https://nypost.com/2018/10/16/sex-doll-rental-company-will-make-a-replica-of-your-dead-lover/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Oct 2018 at 5:43am
Divers may have found ultimate protection against Great White sharks:  Bubblewrap suits;  However, drawbacks include divers can no longer dive, and sharks will still chew on the suits just to hear the bubbles pop


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Oct 2018 at 5:42am
Halloween candy thefts while trick-or-treating expected to increase this year;  Parents who trained their kids in self defense for the past few months lauded for "preparedness"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Oct 2018 at 5:37am
Hollywood survey shows that most people don't care to see celebrities unkempt & not made up when in public;  They care even less "to see them naked"


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Oct 2018 at 5:44am
Entertainment Trivia Questions Answered:  Could people in old b&w movies and TV shows see in color?  The surprising answer is yes, they could!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Oct 2018 at 5:46pm
Mormons pushing to have the word "moron" stricken from the English language so they can go back to calling themselves "Mormons" and no longer have to put up with intentional similar sounding mispronounciations.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DarkRealmStar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Oct 2018 at 5:21pm
Former Mormons now being called Acid-Trippers due to confusion over new initials-only name; Many non-Mormons confuse LDS with more popularly known LSD
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