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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: This Just In! Late Breaking News
    Posted: 11 hours 54 minutes ago at 5:21am
Long forgotten by most & thought dead, Peter Fonda makes pathetic bid for attention;  Aged actor tweets nasty things about women & children, hopes to be Alec Baldwin's VP nominee
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jun 2018 at 6:08am
You decide!  The scales of justice are equal:  Which one is the more stupid?


https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/report-woman-shoots-husband-in-testicles-after-he-tries-to-take-her-air-conditioner/770435073?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jun 2018 at 5:06am
Happy Father's Day! edition;  Annual reminder to deadbeat dads to pony up their back child support
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2018 at 5:16am
ABC to order new seasons of Roseanne, but without Roseanne;  Al Franken to be cast as title character as "Louie Anderson wasn't available"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jun 2018 at 5:15am
Statistics show that the teen pregnancy rate drops drastically after the age of 20;  Gender studies majors still confused why the same statistic remains at a steady 0% for teen boys
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jun 2018 at 5:12am
The first rule of Date Night Fight Club is that nobody talks about Date Night Fight Club;  Adding Valu-Rite to the mix also not a good idea


http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/20180610/blotter-couple-go-to-buy-booze-get-arrested-after-beating-each-other-in-dollar-store-parking-lot
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jun 2018 at 5:14am
You get a twofer tonight  Big smile

Bulletproof backpack industry may be doomed before it can even start;  Schools across country beginning to ban backpacks in wake of school shootings

Woman eats partially cooked male squid, gets mouth impregnated;  Though she spit it out within seconds, the horny creature implanted 12 sperm sacs into her tongue & gums

(Full story here Shocked )

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-impregnated-squid-after-ate-12654166
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Jun 2018 at 5:16am
Exciting organic methane discovery made on Mars;  NASA: "We've found billions of years old evidence of bacteria farts!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2018 at 5:17am
Miss America Pageant drops swimsuit competition;  "It's not like they ever got wet, anyway";  Plans to replace it with athletic pole-dancing also nixed 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jun 2018 at 5:03am
Jersey Shore Candles the hottest selling gift this season;  Reviewers say it "brings the smell of New Jersey right into your home!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jun 2018 at 6:09am
The next time you think you are unlucky, think again;  Car rejected from every car wash in tri-state area


https://globalnews.ca/news/4237595/our-car-was-inundated-with-liquid-poo-falling-from-the-sky-kelowna-driver/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2018 at 5:52am
Man goes to emergency room after "slipping in shower" (read link text);  Yes, that's how he claimed it happened, denied putting it there himself


https://nypost.com/2018/05/29/man-has-six-inch-shower-head-removed-from-his-rectum/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2018 at 5:24am
Coffee breaks discovered to be the cause of most office romances;  Study finds that caffeine makes you like other people


https://quartzy.qz.com/1290826/coffee-benefits-caffeine-makes-you-more-social-as-well-as-active/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2018 at 5:38am
Scientists in Hawaii puzzled why erupting volcano "seems angrier" after their attempt to calm it;  Some speculate "It might be that the person we sacrificed to the volcano misrepresented their virginity to us"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 May 2018 at 5:15am
 Show Dogs movie pulled from theaters over "inappropriate" dog genital groping scenes;  Film would have received an X rating if dog fellatio scenes had been left in

https://pjmedia.com/parenting/show-dogs-pulled-from-theaters-over-inappropriate-dog-genital-groping-scenes/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2018 at 6:29am
Nosey neighbors freak out about seeing a child at swingers party, call in the law;  Police investigate, find nothing wrong, chalk up complaint to neighbors upset at not being invited



https://metro.co.uk/2018/05/20/child-spotted-at-swingers-party-was-actually-just-very-short-woman-7562611/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2018 at 5:34am
Entire country of Finland outed as Fakers;  Shamefaced Finns admit they do speak Finnish, but they can't understand what each other is saying, though they still "fool foreigners really well"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2018 at 5:29am
Royal Wedding movie coming out next year;  Comedy will feature Seth Rogan as Prince Harry, ten years after;  Expect lots of burps and fart jokes
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2018 at 5:54am
Secrets of Botanists Revealed:  If nobody has come out and said whether or not a plant is edible,  always assume that anyone who has eaten it died as a result;  Also, just to be sure, have a grad student taste it first



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 May 2018 at 6:18am
Secrets of Surfers Revealed:  To repel shark attacks, surfers pour extra salt on themselves;  "Most sharks prefer a low-sodium diet, and so avoid us to go after waders and sailboarders" 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2018 at 5:43am
High school evacuated after 'bong' scare;  Police misheard 'bomb' in panicked call about a bong seen in a car by a nosy hysterical citizen


https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/05/11/holliston-high-school-bong-scare
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 May 2018 at 5:33am
Governor calling out National Guard after jackelopes attack cars in Texas;  Pre-emptive roundup begins after biologists warn about population explosion of the "ornery critters"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2018 at 5:39am
CDC issues updated study report on zombie outbreaks;  Experts agree "Being a zombie is no way to live life"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2018 at 5:47am
Denny's offering Star Wars: Solo movie meals;  Random orders to include authentic Wookie hair in the food
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2018 at 6:02am
Quote An 11-year-old boy from Jiangshan City, Zhejiang Province, was trying to bring an umbrella to his family when he accidentally fell into a fast-flowing roadside drain.

Motorists who saw the boy fall in stopped their cars in the middle of the road and rushed to the rescue in the pouring rain. Sprinting down the road, they finally caught up to the boy and saved the umbrella.
 


(Not really.  LOL  Actual story here:
https://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news/2786/People-Rescue-A-Boy-Who-Falls-Into-A-Roadside-Drain  )
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