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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2021 at 5:51am
From the people who brought you the Chocolate Orange:

https://boingboing.net/2021/12/07/chocolate-orange-mayonnaise-exists-and-you-can-win-a-jar-right-now.html?utm_source=feedly&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=chocolate-orange-mayonnaise-exists-and-you-can-win-a-jar-right-now

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Dec 2021 at 5:40am
Foul-mouthed fowl wins hearts of elementary school children;  Uptight adults don't "get it"

https://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2021/12/friendly-foul-mouthed-crow-befriends-entire-oregon-elementary-school-before-state-police-are-called-in.html
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Dec 2021 at 5:20am
D-List celebrity selling her farts in a jar for big money;  Everybody else trying to do the same thing not even getting a whiff of interest

https://torontosun.com/entertainment/celebrity/sweet-smell-of-success-90-day-fiance-star-sells-her-farts-for-45k-a-jar?fbclid=IwAR3JEPg5q0jNAXy1R9ZP-YVvmLe6RxqKhMIflMVpYug4ixD9Rc0VdKngLgw

That kind of income should be really taxable... 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Dec 2021 at 5:53am
Despite Covid restrictions, memorial services to be held at Nakatomi Plaza;  Victims still remembered 33 years after Christmas terrorist attack
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Dec 2021 at 5:28am
Contact tracers advise to have your dog's poo tested for Covid; Health experts desperate for any information for tracking the Omicron variant outbreak
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Dec 2021 at 5:18am
Government spokesmouth is having serious credibility issues;  Survey finds that people trust Dr. Zachary Smith from Lost in Space more than they do Dr. Fauci
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2021 at 5:22am
Breaking News:

 z Die Hard chiron.jpg

More on this story as it develops
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2021 at 11:44pm
Christmas burglaries up this year, mostly copies of the Star Wars Holiday Special;  Main suspect is George Lucas, who is stealing back bootleg copies of the TV movie "to bury this cat turd forever"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Dec 2021 at 6:11am
Facebook's Meta just got really weird-er:  You  can slip on VR goggles and VR gloves, then "grope" someone by just walking up to their avatar and using your virtual "hands" to squeeze their virtual "breasts" or "butt"

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/woman-claims-she-was-virtually-groped-while-inside-metas-virtual-reality-metaverse

(Best to buy Facebook stock before they roll out VR sex, because then billions of people will be signing up for it...)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Dec 2021 at 6:02am
Survey finds that everybody is happy that 2021 is almost over;  Most people found that drinking heavily to get through the year helped, but not enough
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jan 2022 at 5:05am
Sadly, unusual New Years celebration injuries are now rather usual; Lighting fireworks off in the buttcrack still the leading cause of a visit to the ER
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2022 at 5:02am
Canada on the way to becoming one of the most locked-down countries in the world, even has a nationwide 10pm curfew to protect the people;  Most think it is because of Covid, but Canadian officials won't confirm that the real reason is the alarming increase of rapes committed by moose
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 2022 at 6:37am
Statistics show that the first babies born after a wedding are usually born 1 or 2 months early;  Subsequent babies go the full 9 month term


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2022 at 11:53pm
Another sign of a bad winter this year:  Cows stuck indoors for winter are getting virtual reality goggles to feel like they're outside

https://bityl.co/AR8w


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2022 at 5:32am
Bob Saget, 65, dies at Orlando hotel;  Guests, staff say his ghost now haunts the room and makes filthy jokes about the people who stay in it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2022 at 5:11am
Are you a kid with cancer?  No Happy Meals for you!

https://thepostmillennial.com/ronald-mcdonald-house-to-evict-families-who-are-not-vaccinated

Shocked
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jan 2022 at 6:35am
Huge winter storm sweeping towards East coast; Nude beaches expected to be closed for a week
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jan 2022 at 5:28am
It's true, tofu tastes like chicken;  Colonel Sanders trying to suck up to the vegan market segment

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/kfc-launches-plant-based-chicken-in-usa/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jan 2022 at 5:32am
Man involved in attempted robbery of gun sale in North Pole, Alaska, was killed on North Santa Claus Lane;  Fat guy with white beard, dressed in red suit, claims it was self defense

https://sylg1.wordpress.com/2022/01/17/here-comes-shooty-claus/


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Jan 2022 at 5:41am
M&M ads to get woker and lamer;  Famed characters are getting modern makeovers and will have more "nuanced and globally inclusive personalities"

https://news.yahoo.com/m-ms-characters-become-more-144108540.html

(Where's a facepalm emoticon when you need one...?)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jan 2022 at 5:29am
Olympic athletes getting bum deal;  Chinese gov't giving them all a surprise greeting when they arrive for the Winter games

https://www.the-sun.com/news/4512129/china-anal-swabs-covid-mandatory-winter-olympics/?utm_medium=browser_notifications&utm_source=pushly

(If I was an Olympic athlete, I'd drop out, sponsorships and potential medals be damned...)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2022 at 6:02am
Does your Wi-Fi suck?  Let our experts show you how to boost your reception!  For cheap!

https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/how-to-make-a-wifi-antenna-out-of-a-pringles-can-nb/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2022 at 5:57am
Old music is stomping New music's ass;  Old songs now represent 70 percent of the U.S. music market, and the new-music market is shrinking, even deaf people can't stand to listen to it any more

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/01/old-music-killing-new-music/621339/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Feb 2022 at 11:13pm
Washington Redskins change their name to the more bland Washington Commanders;  But, most people think they are a joke, and call them the DC Comics
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Feb 2022 at 5:56am
Whoopi Goldberg's co-hosts on The View, Sunny Hostin, Joy Behar and Ana Navarro -- are furious that she was suspended;  No mention of a hunger strike in support


(I don't think it'd last an hour...  )
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