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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Apr 2019 at 6:09am
Continuing cases of weasels outbreaks around country;  Doctors urge that you get your kids vaccinated
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Apr 2019 at 5:30am
Potholes on your street that your city won't fix?  Try this easy, amazing trick that gets fast results!


https://www.buzznick.com/protestor-spay-paints-penises-around-potholes-to-finally-get-them-fixed/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2019 at 5:41am
Your computer is still at risk, Y2K not dead;  Original 'disaster' didn't happen in '2000' due to typo, and will actually occur in '2020'
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2019 at 5:48am
Thinking of buying a diamond engagement ring for your beloved?  Experts say you can get it cheaper out of town than in a high-rent city jewelry store


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2019 at 6:05am
After viewing Marvel TV & movies, many would-be immigrants having second thoughts about coming to America;  Apparently, America has a dangerous mutant problem and quite a few people are getting killed by them;  However, building repair/reconstruction is booming and needs workers
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 May 2019 at 5:53am
Oceanographers cautioning that beach potato growth will be a bumper crop this year;  Beachgoers warned to watch where they sit on the sand and to shake out their bathing suits "often"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2019 at 6:36am
Box office shocker!  Poms opening day knocks Avengers: Endgame out of the #1 spot
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2019 at 5:27am
4chan dupes mainstream media into claiming that the "okay" sign is a White Supremacy symbol;  Hoaxers failed to get network anchors to sit on their upraised middle fingers, however
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2019 at 5:40am
For Mother's Day, Nabisco lauds drag moms for being role models to younger proteges;  Real moms now telling their kids "It's time to cut back on eating sugary garbage"


https://www.dailycaller.com/2019/05/12/chips-ahoy-mothers-day-drag-queen/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2019 at 5:28am
Highlights of 2019 Urine Drinking Afficionados convention in San Francisco:  Almost all preferred a pineapple bouquet over that of asparagus;  The lone holdout claims she had a cold that day
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 May 2019 at 6:20am
Mystery player to swoop in, conquer all in Game of Thrones finale;  SPOILER ALERT:  "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 May 2019 at 5:53am
Those in the toughest sales position also the top "Can Sell Anything" legends in the industry;  Successful Used Vacation salesmen can write their own tickets to fame, fortune, and power
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2019 at 5:40am
Over objections, Swiss voters approve stricter gun laws;  Swiss Army reservists, though, may still keep mortars and machineguns in their homes
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2019 at 5:36am
Hollywood Update:  Despite vicious rumors and wishful thinking, Happy Days characters Ralph Malph and Potsy did not marry each other;  However, Arnold's was indeed permanently shut down for serious health code violations
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2019 at 5:44am
(See below)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 May 2019 at 5:45am
Most people who wear 'tinfoil' hats not actually blocking unwanted signals;  "They make a big mistake using aluminum foil instead of actual tin foil" says anonymous expert on the subject
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 May 2019 at 4:55am
Suspected polio outbreak was a false alarm;  Several people showed up at ER with foot and leg cramps;  Event blamed on TV drug ads for "instilling panic in hypochondriac viewership"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 May 2019 at 5:47am
Your Fortnite addiction may be an actual illness;  WHO also says that those who crossdress while playing the game "have their own little niche"


https://www.cnet.com/news/world-health-organization-deems-gaming-disorder-an-official-illness/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 May 2019 at 5:43am
When asked during a study if they preferred spinach or ice cream, children overwhelmingly chose ice cream;  After being given spinach ice cream, the same children felt perplexed and tricked
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jun 2019 at 5:45am
Hollywood to make movie from real life event;  No word if Arnold Ziffel or Babe will be up for the role, but lots of desperate actors clamoring to be in supporting cast


https://ms.thebl.com/97460/pig-steals-18-beers-from-campers-gets-drunk-starts-a-fight-with-cow-2.html
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jun 2019 at 5:33am
"не вмешайтесья!" to be put on all US voting machines by 2020 elections;  Label warns Russians to not intefere, in case they can't read English
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jun 2019 at 5:37am
Man acquitted of drug charges, police dog being sent to rehab;  While searching his car, drug-sniffing dog found 2 small bags of meth, but it was determined later that the dog threw them up
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jun 2019 at 6:04am
No more iTunes for you!  Apple canceling iconic service to make you buy your favorite songs all over again through their new phone apps
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jun 2019 at 6:06am
Conspiracy, or discrimination?  Short people still upset that they can't reach the upper shelves in stores
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jun 2019 at 5:39am
Good news!  The price of your burrito won't go up 5 cents;  Trump tariff on Mexican goods on hold for now, which included chipotle peppers

Other Great News!  If you don't get Breaking News within half an hour, it's FREE!


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