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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Butthurt snowflakes get their way, force Apu to be dropped from The Simpsons; Beloved Hindu character to be "disappeared" from series, while newly empowered SJWs victoriously wave the scalp they took as they look for their next victim
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Angry McPisseron
Honor Roll Formerly AngryMcPisseron Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Location: Fresno CA. Status: Offline Points: 13345 |
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Waylen Smithers may be next -- he's a closet queen and we all know how the people who booted Apu would feel about that.
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MrTim
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84 year old woman with walker leads police on slow-speed chase after robbing bank; Cops finally arrested her after she stopped to sit down for a rest
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MrTim
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Seven state recall of Swedish meatballs accidently made with horse meat; Many thousands reported getting the trots
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MrTim
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Pass the Little Debbie's and 2 buck chuck! Worrying over elections can make you fat: Democrats stress eating, stress drinking more than Republicans
https://freebeacon.com/culture/poll-democrats-stress-eating-drinking-republicans-table-due-midterms-stress/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Massive recall of 2019 Toyota Pomona automobiles; Car maker forgot to include handles inside the doors so people could get out
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MrTim
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Latest bunch of tax-raising grifters elected into office; Concerned citizens begin hiding cash under their mattresses
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MrTim
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Harley-Davidson wusses out, introduces quiet electric motorcycle; Sales to women expected to drop to zero, as new bike "doesn't rumble & roar" <<IYKWIMAITYD
http://fortune.com/2018/11/06/harley-davidson-electric-motorcycle-livewire/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Reports of another refugee caravan heading toward the border; Convoy of Hollywood celebrities fearful of Trump slowly making their way to Canada; Nobody is stopping them
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MrTim
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Kids warned not to put gum under desks or chairs anymore; School custodians using DNA to track down perpetrators, shave their heads
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MrTim
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Histrionic SJWs call Sex Crimes police after hearing that Martha Stewart was going to spatchcock a turkey, claim to be #METOO victims; Silly furor expected to result in a L&O: SVU episode being made
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MrTim
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New natural diet makes you as thin and muscular as the animal that inspired it, the snake; Most who have tried it say once you get over the initial "ick" factor, swallowing pink baby mice is easy and healthy
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MrTim
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Psychiatric study claims that there is a good chance the person sitting next to you is a freak; Researchers caution "not to confront or suddenly startle" them
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MrTim
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DEA warns of new drug epidemic growing in popularity with kids; Pharmacies to move feminine products behind counter
https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/teens-in-indonesia-boil-sanitary-pads-to-get-high?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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Angry McPisseron
Honor Roll Formerly AngryMcPisseron Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Location: Fresno CA. Status: Offline Points: 13345 |
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Eeewwww!!! That's ducking fisgusting!!! Getting high on used sanitary napkins?!?
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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^^ Hey, some of that stuff I couldn't make up if I tried...
Canada legalizes marijuana; When visiting, friendly Canadian citizens will greet you by saying high |
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MrTim
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"The Vagina Monologues" canceled at a Michigan college; Popular play was apparently offensive to women who do not have actual vajayjays
https://www.faithwire.com/2018/11/15/michigan-college-cancels-the-vagina-monologues-because-not-all-women-have-vaginas/?fbclid=IwAR2rP744qPSiu-KHlVZcteHbrkyTZ9aL-COF9VmqwDg2KHaiC7idMfI_X2Q |
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MrTim
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Food experts claim you are getting ripped off buying canned soup; "Soup is just flavored water, you shouldn't be wasting your money on it."
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MrTim
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48+ million turkeys attacked Americans this Thanksgiving; The people valiantly defended themselves and ate the attackers, as well as lots of other good food; Victory declared!
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MrTim
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Scientists discover that it is not the tryptophan that makes you sleepy after a big Thanksgiving turkey dinner; Rather, it is the watching of football afterwards that makes people drowsy
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MrTim
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Brexit still on the rocky road to happening; Most Eurotrash don't consider the English to be European anyway and wish they'd just stay on their stupid island
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MrTim
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New study reveals that all humans are descendants of same man and woman who lived over 100,000 years ago; And that they are a brother and sister from Alabama
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MrTim
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Parents playing dirty tricks on kids this Christmas: They're giving them books as gifts; Kids are confused, not understanding why the multi-page devices are not electronic
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MrTim
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TSA shuts down airport for 6 hours after panicking about buzzing electric toothbrush in luggage; Officials say "At least this wasn't like the last time when we called in the bomb squad after some suspicious noisy sex toys were discovered"
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MrTim
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LGBLTQ activists frothing over the word "homonym", demanding that it be classified as "hate speech"; Meanwhile, fundies still avoiding the use of "synonym" and "cinnamon"
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