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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jun 2019 at 5:52am
To head off a potentially developing social fad, parents of newborns being given old timey common sense advice: " Give the kid a name.  Without a name, you're a nobody"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jun 2019 at 5:11am
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi declares she "wants to see Trump in jail!";  President's schedule "very busy"; Trump replies "I'll try to visit you as soon as I can!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jun 2019 at 5:57am
Justin Bieber trying to pick televised fight with Tom Cruise for some reason;  Many hoping Tom will punch the t**d in the throat and end his singing career
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jun 2019 at 6:09am
Easy tips you can teach your kids to better survive dodgeball: "Standing there while playing with your smartphone is not a winning strategy"


https://babylonbee.com/news/losers-of-dodgeball-are-dorks-concludes-jock-research-team
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jun 2019 at 5:31am
Amazing facts about Woodstock you didn't know:  Most who attended are now in their 70's or dead; Some are still so stoned that they don't know which they are
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jun 2019 at 5:13am
Mastercard to let transgender customers choose the name on their credit card;  Identity thieves loving it, too, lining up in droves


https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/mastercard-to-let-transgender-customers-choose-the-name-on-their-credit-card
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jun 2019 at 5:21am
US military secrets you didn't know:  US nuclear missile silos constantly spray pesticides around the launch controls;  If the roaches figure out which buttons to press, they'll have to world to themselves


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jun 2019 at 5:19am
Vaping banned in San Francisco, soon to be banned in Los Angeles, too;  Fear is that people could trip over syringes or feces while vaping;  Texting while walking still allowed, though


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jun 2019 at 5:11am
Trump launches cyber attack against Iran;  Iranian Revolutionary Guard loses their extensive internet porn library, has Freecell high scores reset to zero
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jun 2019 at 5:37am
First Democrat debate:  Viewers unable to look away as 10 candidates pile out of clown car and into train wreck;  Elimination round to include cage matches
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jun 2019 at 5:49am
Second Democrat debate:  Self-stroking ego orgy devolves into free-for-all as candidates offer free stuff for everybody;  Mirrors reportedly removed to force the moderators to focus on anybody but themselves
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jun 2019 at 5:59am
Survey finds that, on the whole, people are happier to be living longer;  But, say statisticians, the mortality rate is still 100%
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jul 2019 at 5:35am
Spinach to be added to list of substances banned in sports;  Leafy green contains steroid-like chemical, which explains Popeye the Sailor Man's sudden strength after eating a can of spinach


https://edition.cnn.com/2019/06/25/sport/spinach-chemical-doping-scli-intl-grm/index.html
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jul 2019 at 6:03am
Nike recalls billion $ worth of shoes after snit by overpaid spokesperson;  Shoes to be returned to factories to replace "Betsy Ross Flag" with "Che in a Beret"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2019 at 5:23am
Huge Independence Day turnout in Washington D.C.;  Massive crowds were most impressed by the parade of Lawn Chair Drill Teams, some even synchronized
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Jul 2019 at 6:15am
First transplant of a bionic leg a success, but goes awry, as the man can only walk in circles;  Doctors say "some adjustments are needed, but we still think replacing his other leg with a bionic one would be even better!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jul 2019 at 5:42am
Ignorance can lead to bliss:  New scientific study shows that people can live healthier and happier, by ignoring all the new scientific studies
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2019 at 5:47am
Surprising finding in study of whether playing video games causes violence:  Most people become "quite angry" because they believe the computer is cheating when they lose at computer card games, but can't prove it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 2019 at 6:04am
Woman breaking up with 300 year old pirate ghost of Jack Sparrow;  Johnny Depp says no way in hell he'll pay for alimony for that one


https://trendingviews.co/woman-who-married-3-year-old-pirate-ghost-says-they-re-breaking-up/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2019 at 6:08am
Travel experts warning you to not hit your hotel room's minibar too fast;  "Some scoundrels have been refilling the tiny bottles of booze with pee" and advise sniffing the contents before chugging them down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2019 at 6:30am
Another man wins gold in women's weightlifting;  Feminine product sponsors unsure how to spin believeable endorsements for transgender athletes


https://hotair.com/archives/jazz-shaw/2019/07/16/another-man-wins-gold-womens-weightlifting/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2019 at 11:43pm
Big smile I do I do I do wanna see MrT's headline about Trump's Tweets about politically-inclined disabled and diseased female minority midget mud wrestlers not born in the U.S. of Trumpia who keep escaping through cracks in the walls of the border detention centers and into the farmlands where they use their burros to transport the goods they burrowed for to the boroughs of New York where these alien illegals sell their illegal goods.
And they make some of the best spicy Menudo, too!  Available at reasonably-priced '5 star' out-door eateries that operate under the stars, near you!
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"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2019 at 5:52am
You could always write your own, you know...  Wink  (Try to be funny, 'kay?  )

Anyway, in today's headline:

Celebrities employing new tactic against harassing papparazzi:  Projectile vomiting;  "Some of the smaller actresses can reach up to 10 feet" say witnesses
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2019 at 9:10am
TrumpWhine via Twitter: "What a Bunch of Asses! Where's Mine?" In What Could be a True Miniature 'Transgender Fender Bender', Farmers Trace Poo to Profitable Open-Air Restaurants They Have Unwittingly Subsidized and Become 'Friends With Benefits' With Dirty Little Culprits When Presented 'Lifetime Free Late-Night Lunches and 'Dog Washes''.

(goes with story 2 posts back - don't be so fast to 'blow this one' off...)Wink
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"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2019 at 5:33am
Squid and octopus ink the newest 'thing' trending for the fashion chic;  All-natural product being used as a permanent mascara and to enhance those ever present duck lips
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