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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Mar 2018 at 3:46am
United Airlines now offering free pet euthanasia on it's flights, with optional toilet 'burials' for smaller animals
  Also just in:  Ahmed the Clock Boy lawsuit dismissed;  Parents disappointed that they didn't win millions, will now have to send their kid to community college instead of an Ivy League school



http://dailycaller.com/2018/03/14/clock-boy-lawsuit-dismissed/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2018 at 3:55am
McCabe fired two days before retirement;  Nobody sad for him, as he will make more off his 'tell all' book deal than his pension


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Mar 2018 at 4:03am
Self-driving Uber car hits, kills pedestrian;  Police say the computer AI was playing GT:A and sexting while driving
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Mar 2018 at 4:12am
Little national news coverage of cop taking out Maryland school shooter;  But strangely, the deranged little corpse has been given a Facebook memorial page  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Mar 2018 at 5:16am
Scientific study reveals that computers actually feel pain;  However, it's mostly shame and embarrassment they suffer when you post stupid stuff on social media
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Mar 2018 at 5:19am
After latest fundraising drive, Flat Earth Society claiming it "has members all around the globe";  "We're shooting for the moon!" spokesman said
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2018 at 4:36am
Charles Manson's frozen corpse finally released to a relative;  But now Charlie is going on the road with the Icecapades Pro Wrestling Spectacular, where he will play the heel while encased in a cube of frozen Lucite
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Mar 2018 at 5:45am
Memory problems?  Spread some chia seeds on your scalp and water them;  Studies find that the root growth can stimulate your brain and hair follicles as they go deeper
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Mar 2018 at 5:39am
Skip the eggs and candy this year, and go healthy!  8 winning tips on how to decorate Easter potatoes with your kids!

https://www.healthyeasterpotato.com

WinkLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Apr 2018 at 6:18am
Surprising State Facts They Won't Tell You:  The name "California" is a Native American word that politely translates to "dung pile"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DarkRealmStar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2018 at 1:23am
'Miraculous': Teen survives 12 hours in Los Angeles

[This was the only visible text until scrolling down into the article]

sewage

US NEWS
'Miraculous': Teen survives 12 hours in Los Angeles sewage
LOS ANGELES (AP) — A 13-year-old boy was miraculously rescued Monday after falling into a river of sewage in Los Angeles, getting swept away and spending more than 12 hours in the city's toxic and mazelike underground sewer system.

For those who want to read the remainder of the article:

(1 of 4) Firefighters dropping a video camera down a large hole Sunday, April 1, 2018, next to where a 13-year-old boy fell through through the small hole at right into a river of sewage in the Griffith Park area of Los Angeles. Jesse Hernandez was swept away and spent more than 12 hours in the toxic environment of the sewer system before being rescued. (Capt. Erik Scott/Los Angeles Fire Department via AP)

April 03, 2018
Jesse Hernandez had been playing with other children on wooden planks over an access portal to the sewer system during a family outing Sunday at a Los Angeles park. When a plank broke, Jesse fell about 25 feet (8 meters) and landed in fast-moving sewage, said Brian Humphrey, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Fire Department.

The other children immediately notified adults, who called 911, initiating a frantic and exhaustive 12-hour search of labyrinthine underground pipes using cameras propped on flotation devices. Rescuers finally found Jesse after seeing images of handprints on a sewage pipe. A sanitation crew rushed to the area and opened a manhole.

"The first thing they heard was 'Help!'" said Adel Hagekhalil, assistant general manager of the sanitation department. The crew lowered down a hose to Jesse, who was about 11 feet (3 meters) deep in the pipe.

"He caught onto the hose and was reeled back up," Hagekhalil said. Rescuers gave him immediate medical attention, including hosing him down to get rid of the sewage and cleaning out his eyes and nose with sterile saline, Humphrey said.

Jesse immediately asked for a cellphone to call his family. A worker handed him a phone, and he called his mom. "He was happy, the family was happy," said Hagekhalil, adding that rescuers were thrilled at the outcome.

Video released by the city later in the day showed long dark marks on the sides of the dank sewage pipe, which was about 4 feet (1 meter) in diameter, where Jesse's fingers would have slid.

After an accident like Jesse's, rescuers say the likelihood of someone being found safe diminishes by the hour. "They never gave up hope," Hagekhalil said. "They wanted to bring Jesse back to his family."

About 2,400 feet (731 meters) of pipe had been inspected when rescuers found Jesse less than a mile from where he disappeared. He was taken to a hospital for a full evaluation and to be reunited with his family.

In addition to the massive rescue effort involving more than 100 people, Humphrey credited Jesse for his survival. Not only did he survive getting swept through sewage moving at 15 mph (24 kph), he managed to find a pocket of breathable air and hang on until he was found, authorities said.

"Any subterranean location, particularly one that involves waste, can produce toxic gases — methane, hydrogen sulfide — so breathable air is a key element," Humphrey said. "The odds of someone falling into such a pipe and surviving are slim. The odds were not in his favor, and many would call it miraculous."

He called Jesse "a resolute young man." "He has tremendous inner strength," Humphrey said. "It's obvious he's not a quitter." Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti was among the many Angelinos closely watching the rescue efforts for Jesse. In a string of tweets , Garcetti praised rescuers and thanked the teen's family for their "patience and optimism during this harrowing experience."

"We're keeping Jesse's health and recovery in our thoughts today," he said. Also Sunday, an 11-year-old boy fell into a canal in Meadow Vista, about 40 miles (64 kilometers) northwest of Sacramento. He was found dead a couple hours later.

Famously in October 1987, rescuers freed an 18-month-old girl who had been trapped in a narrow, abandoned well in Midland, Texas, for more than 58 hours. Jessica McClure's rescue captured the nation's attention in some of the first round-the-clock television coverage in the U.S.
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DarkRealmStar View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DarkRealmStar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2018 at 1:28am
Condom snorting challenge poses health hazards; Recommendations to only snort empty condoms being ignored.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2018 at 4:24am
Plans changed:  Charles Manson's contract bought out, now he's to be sideshow attraction in Disney's Frozen Ice Show;  Scary corpsicle will displayed next to urinals in Unisex restroom


(I don't think they've thought that last part through.  Going to be a disaster, I tell you...)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Apr 2018 at 4:55am
"Stop doing the opposite of what I say!  I'm serious!" whines David Hogg;  Anti-gun student activist actually spurring spike in gun sales
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Apr 2018 at 5:37am
Secrets of Restaurant Reviewers' Criteria revealed:  #1:  "The food meets at least minimum standards if the roaches are seen eating it"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2018 at 5:14am
Vampires' unquenchable thirst to drink blood linked to serious vitamin D deficiency;  Doctors recommend that they get plenty of sunlight as it "works better than drinking milk"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2018 at 5:31am
Wolves discovered breeding with chihuahuas in the wild;  People being warned not to adopt the resulting little "chiwoofwoofs", which, while cute, can bite your face off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Apr 2018 at 5:30am
Boston Marathon to allow biological men to compete as women;  Actual biological women seriously considering starting "only women" sports and races


https://www.theblaze.com/news/2018/04/09/boston-marathon-will-allow-transgender-women-to-compete-as-women-this-year
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Apr 2018 at 6:00am
Flying monkeys spotted over Kansas;  Weather experts warn it protends "a busy tornado season"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2018 at 5:19am
Feds say if you don't pay your taxes on time this year, it's all good;  You'll even be entered into an IRS contest, in which you can win a vacation to a secure Federal "country club" destination!





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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Apr 2018 at 5:51am
Though not a speed record, it went from Big Seller to Bargain Bin in 2 days:  James Comey's book can now be found in the '3 for 99 cents' discount bin in the coloring book section;  Buy any three books and get a free pack of 16 crayons!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Apr 2018 at 5:49am
Starbucks warns employees not to use the phrase "Would you like your coffee black?" lest it be construed as racist by some demographics;  Bathrooms will also be freely open to the homeless, at least until media scrutiny has abated
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 7 hours 14 minutes ago at 6:17am
White House Trivia: The Easter Bunny suit worn at the White House Easter Egg roll was modeled after Jimmy Carter's attack rabbit;  The Secret Service agent wearing the suit also carries a hidden Uzi
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