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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2016 at 11:10pm
Reports continuing to come in of dead reindeer littering the country;  Police say yahoos drunk on eggnog were shooting into the air all night
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Dec 2016 at 3:45pm
^^^ LOLBig smileLOL^^^

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Dec 2016 at 4:50am
Forensic report reveals that King Tutankhamen died from massive chest injuries after being struck by a chariot wheel;  Police still searching for the hit-and-run driver
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Dec 2016 at 5:16am
This Just In!  California legalizes child prostitution starting January 1;  Coke-nosed legislator justifies "Kids can't find after school jobs, so this allows them to help their families.  Everybody wins!";  Massive perv migration expected
 
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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 2017 at 5:42am
EPA wants Alaskans to stop burning wood to keep warm;  Rural Alaskans reply "If we could shovel your EPA bullsh*t into our stoves, we wouldn't need wood!"
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jan 2017 at 5:16am
3 hospitalized after Tampa woman tries to dress dog;  Pitbull got angry about being made to wear a sweater, wasn't having it when a foo-foo pink tutu was revealed next
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2017 at 4:44am
Terrorists planning to use self-driving cars as weapons;  Cars would be packed with explosives and scurry unnoticed to target destinations like the autonomous little cockroaches they are before detonating
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2017 at 4:44am
Tilikum the killer whale dies;  Free orca sushi at Sea World, while supplies last
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2017 at 5:24am
Apple dropped headphone jack from iPhone 7 to make it thinner;  Resulting feature faux pas also made sales and profits thinner too
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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Jan 2017 at 5:12am
Streakers becoming a problem at Machu Picchu;  Peruvian authorities can't figure out how the historic site got on the "naked tourism" list, but they want it to stop
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2017 at 6:00am

Many people starting to call it as they see it;  Others still pushing for year-round Halloween

https://pjmedia.com/parenting/2017/01/05/dont-blame-my-kid-for-thinking-your-cross-dressing-child-is-weird//?singlepage=true

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2017 at 5:51am

Man arrested after cops mistake kitty litter for meth;  Strange smelling candy bars found buried in it also sent off for testing

https://crimewatchdaily.com/2017/01/09/man-arrested-after-deputies-mistake-kitty-litter-for-meth/

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2017 at 5:07am

Snow falls in Columbia overnight;  People wake up to find cocaine covering everything after drug-smuggling plane dumps cargo while attempting to escape police

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2017 at 5:32am
Having a black cat cross your path on Friday the 13th declared 'no longer superstitious';  Experts say the cat is only going someplace, while you are actually in more danger from somebody texting and walking
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jan 2017 at 4:32am

Philadelphia enacts crazy huge tax on soda, other drinks;  Cost of drinks skyrockets, Philly mayor blames "price gouging" for outrage generated by city's new tax

Quote A box of soda syrup costs retailers $60. The gross (before expenses) profit per box is $20, and the city levied a tax of $57.60 per box. That means the city is charging three times what a distributor makes, and that's before he pays employees, the power bill or anything else, and expecting him to just eat the cost.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jan 2017 at 5:07am
Canadian TV admits that the quality of their programming is like "fingernails drawn slowly across a blackboard";  Most viewers, however, say they habitually mute shows and improv mocking dialogue while watching them
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jan 2017 at 5:38am
Canadians like drizzling maple syrup over snow for a tasty, sticky winter treat;  It should be unnecessary to warn against eating yellow snow, but many still do every year
 

http://lifehacker.com/drizzle-maple-syrup-over-snow-for-a-tasty-sticky-winte-1791127768

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jan 2017 at 5:37am
Hollywood expected to be a ghost town after Trump inauguration;  Actors and celebrities fleeing Los Angeles 'by the thousands' for foreign countries
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Jan 2017 at 5:29am

Red Skittles shortage expected for next few months;  People hoarding, some even selling them at inflated prices on eBay, in anticipation of temporary scarcity

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/01/19/Wisconsin-road-covered-in-hundreds-of-thousands-of-red-Skittles/7301484836385/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=20

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jan 2017 at 4:07am

Feeling anxiety, depression, or suffering from insomnia?  The 'healthy' salad you eat regularly may actually be killing you!  Details at 11!

http://acculturated.com/salad-the-silent-killer/

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jan 2017 at 4:59am
Madonna blames "teleprompter glitch" for her controversial statement;  Apparently she meant to say "to blow the White House"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jan 2017 at 4:56am
Sherri Shepherd, formerly on 'The View', still claiming she's not dead;  Many think it's her ghost, or a clever impostor, making the denials
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jan 2017 at 5:50am

Slow News Night;  We will now bring you Women Jumping Out Of Cakes in place of regular programming:

[TUBE]qe29J_XuGJM

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2017 at 4:58am

Naked cycling not a good idea during freezing weather;  In addition to wind chill & frostbite in sensitive places, police pursuit also a possibility

http://www.thelocal.at/20170125/naked-cyclist-leads-police-on-caper-during-sub-freezing-night?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=im&utm_tracker=1722735x84899

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2017 at 5:46am
Numbers of protestors at airport travel ban demonstrations were exaggerated;  Demonstrators were actually outnumbered by lawyers looking for clients who wanted to sue
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