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The Piss Buggy

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Angry McPisseron View Drop Down
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Formerly AngryMcPisseron

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    Posted: 07 Aug 2013 at 3:39pm
THE PISS BUGGY

 

 


From TriStar Innovations comes the latest unsanitary cleaning device.

Hosted by Terry Toner and Ken LuVaun(?), the show opens with footage of a woman struggling to scrub a stovetop, and some very touching film of a woman wearing a gas mask, halfheartedly swiping at a toilet bowl and sitting near a bucket so full of name-brand toxic household chemicals that it looks like a Superfund site in a diaper pail.

Now we can get right down to business: The Steam Buggy is a large, portable steam generating device that looks a lot like a big canister vacuum cleaner, piss yellow in color, and missing its wheels. It comes with hoses, an extension wand or two, some brushes & squeegee attachments, and a piece of cloth you stick on the end for floors.
When the first demonstration is conducted, that was enough to make my mind up on this pathetic cleaning gadget: it clearly shows the steam blasting some goop deeper inside the cracks in the top of an electric range, rather than getting the dirt out.

KODAK MOMENTS:
Aside from the steam jet forcing the dirt deeper into a stove, several other demonstrations were equally effective in convincing me why I should not to buy one of these.
When they show the steamer being used to clean a household air vent, the dirt is shown disappearing INSIDE the vent, rather than running down the wall where it can be wiped away. They also have a rather gross looking demonstration of how the cleaner gets dried piss out of the cracks in a toilet seat, splattering the yellowish-brown liquid all over the toilet bowl and rim - and then showing Terry WIPING IT UP WITH HER UNGLOVED HAND afterwards!! What could be ickier?!?
And the smell!!!... steam cleaners don't generate their own perfume or dispense deodourising agents - so whatever you heat up and blast away will begin to reek almost immediately. That "pissy toilet smell" is one of the worst - I don't know how they could stand to even film that particularly gross segment.

The Steam Buggy appears to be bulky and unwieldy to use. Without wheels or a handle, you must lug it around on a shoulder strap, and unless you'e used to carrying objects around in that fashion, it will probably be quite troublesome, at least at first. So how come they didn't put WHEELS on the damn thing? The footage clearly shows the appliance works fine when you set it on the floor. At least you could drag the asinine thing around the house by the hose, instead of having to lug it around on your shoulder and risk having it slip off, fall, and explode into hundreds of little pieces all over your kitchen floor.
The machine also hisses quite loudly when in use. The microphones had no trouble picking up the very loud hiss from the steam nozzle.

YOU WANT MORE SANITATION ISSUES?
The infomercial claims that the Steam Buggy will eliminate the odor of cat piss, but because of its very nature, it will - at least temporarily - make the dried cat pee stink even worse than it did before! Yucky pee!!
It also claims to kill the odor of cigarettes in couches and on curtains. If you've ever left cigarette stubs in a coffee can outside, you know that coffee can is gonna reek of something awful once water gets in it.
The hotter and moister an odoriferous substance gets (ie. add steam, hello!) the stinkier it will become.
Simple laws of physics and molecular motion at work here. You want MORE? Fine. Watch a little longer, and see nasty brown crap shoot out of a sink faucet, black crap dribble out of a refrigerator door seal, and black junk splattering all over a bathtub after the Steam Buggy is used on them. Easily one of the grossest infomercials in current production.

BUT DOES THE STEAM BUGGY WORK?
Judging from one particularly bad demonstration they did with it, it may not work completely as advertised. In one segment, the appliance is shown being used on a rather filthy oven door, yet when they wiped up the door, a very large area which was not touched at all by any steam wiped clean just as quickly and easily as the treated area did!

They also showed the Steam Buggy "cleaning" the floor, but the cloth cover they put over the end became filthy after swiping about a foot long swatch of flooring - beyond that you'd just be scrubbing your floor with your own dirt! 

The Steam Buggy? How about The Stink Buggy or The Piss Buggy instead?
The machine is piss-yellow, and it will shoot pee everywhere if you use it on your toilet bowl.

Smelly and unsanitary to use, messy to clean up after, the machine itself has all those messy brushes to wash afterwards (particularly gross if you used any of them in the bathroom), it's probably a pain in the ass to fill & empty - and then there's the hose that'll have condensation inside and probably start leaking all over the place after you've used the machine for awhile... No thank you, I think I'll stick to Mr. Clean, Comet, and other chemicals in my cleaning bucket -er- my mobile Superfund Site.

Make your house pee free. Buy some Mr. Clean and Comet instead of wasting your money on this smelly, bulky, house-heating and very bothersome to use machine.

Because this is such a gross appliance to use, you get a brand-new rating: ICKY YUCKY THINGS.
Using it can make you vomit, and you'll have to fire it up again to clean up after yourself. YUCK! 



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Formerly AngryMcPisseron

Joined: 20 Apr 2008
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Aug 2013 at 3:26pm
BTTT: Added the obligatory product photographs.

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