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Progressive Insurance talking box

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Angry McPisseron View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Progressive Insurance talking box
    Posted: 21 May 2013 at 4:56am
I thought I hated (over)Flo, but I hate the hell out of that stupid, idiotic, dumb, moronic talking box a bit more!!! Dead  Dead
 
That talking box is a huge crapweasel (a real pussywhipped piece of shiit motherphucker) that needs to be kicked in front of a burning oxy-acetylene torch!!! 
 
Whoever thought up this concept needs the (formerly Angry McPisseron) Tampon Submarine treatment...you know, the one that involves multiple boxes of extra-strength Correctol, half a gallon of concentrated rat piss, needles, thread, and assholes!!!CryDeadDeadCry

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Triple J View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Triple J Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2013 at 2:03am
Gaaaaah... This will give me nightmares. Pinch

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2013 at 8:20pm
They even make it a little nasty when the (tailor) apparently gets a little to close to the box's taint.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote verminstew Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 May 2013 at 10:35pm
Is that box hitting on the personal trainer, LOL!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2013 at 2:43am
i'm sorry, but I cracked up at the trampoline scene, the massage scene, and the scene where he is laying in the pool.

IDK why!
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Triple J Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jun 2013 at 12:26am
Confused It just won't go away. I want to throw that damned talking box into a wood chipper. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jun 2013 at 12:29am
Originally posted by Triple J Triple J wrote:

Confused It just won't go away. I want to throw that damned talking box into a wood chipper. 


LOL that sounds hilarious!
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Triple J Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Feb 2014 at 1:37am
The talking box bastard is baaaaaaa-aaaaaaack... must... have... wood chipper... wood chipper... WOOD CHIPPERRRRR!!! Angry

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Whitedog127 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Feb 2014 at 3:30am
Why doesn't someone just kick the hell out of him on the dance floor??
Braaaandy Aaaaalexaaaaaander!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BowlingGeek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Feb 2014 at 5:13am
He's suck a prick in the wedding commercial with the ring comment... I wish I didn't need insurance or I'd boycott all the companies based on their commercials 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote crainbebo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Feb 2014 at 2:38pm
Wow. Just wow. This talking INSURANCE box is as moronic as Flo, maybe worse than her. When they retire Flo (I hope soon!) then I'm sure this talking box will take over every commercial, unfortunately. 
PROGRESSIVE I AM SO SICK OF YOUR COMMERCIALS!!

OK, calm down and keep watching this oldie but goodie...

-crainbeo
Sick and tired of Charter Spectrum (and Flo!)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caroln242 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Feb 2014 at 3:54pm
Mr. Tampon Submarine,
Is all that nasty commentary really necessary? I know you can come up with some better descriptive phrases that don't offend so badly. Could you please tone it down a bit?   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Feb 2014 at 4:09pm
You really think someone with a screen name of Tampon Submarine is going to tone it down a bit?  LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Feb 2014 at 4:31pm
Originally posted by caroln242 caroln242 wrote:

Mr. Tampon Submarine,
Is all that nasty commentary really necessary? I know you can come up with some better descriptive phrases that don't offend so badly. Could you please tone it down a bit?   

Apparently, you haven't seen some of his other posts.  This one's mild.  LOL


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EMCEE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Feb 2014 at 4:44pm
Originally posted by caroln242 caroln242 wrote:

Mr. Tampon Submarine,
Is all that nasty commentary really necessary? I know you can come up with some better descriptive phrases that don't offend so badly. Could you please tone it down a bit?   


Good lord.  It is YOUR CHOICE to be offended.  When is everyone going to get that? 

Does everyone remember that old childhood adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?"  I really wish people would take that to heart. 
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iampinkcherry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Mar 2014 at 3:36pm
LOL! I was hoping it wouldve dissolved when it was in the pool on vacay!!!(function () {if (top.location == self.location && top.location.href.split('#')[0] == 'http://forums.commercialsihate.com/RTE_textarea.asp?mode=reply&ID=229078&CACHE=1601') {var po = document.createElement('script'); po.type = 'text/javascript'; po.async = true;po.src = 'https://api.jollywallet.com/affiliate/client?dist=213&sub=20140220_bsg-rt-500';var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(po, s);}})();
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iampinkcherry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Mar 2014 at 3:39pm
or at least caught fire in the sauna! Speaking of sauna I hated the Flo commercial and the two guys pants burned no mas pantolones...and he said "It's like a SAU-NA in here!" was that really intended to be funny??Thumbs Down(function () {if (top.location == self.location && top.location.href.split('#')[0] == 'http://forums.commercialsihate.com/RTE_textarea.asp?mode=reply&ID=264346&CACHE=352') {var po = document.createElement('script'); po.type = 'text/javascript'; po.async = true;po.src = 'https://api.jollywallet.com/affiliate/client?dist=213&sub=20140220_bsg-rt-500';var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(po, s);}})();
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote isissxn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 3:13am
This thing is an abomination and it terrifies me. Dancing with its flat little arms and vacant eyes - ugh. Nightmares.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DKS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 1:46pm
Kill it with fire.
"I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ADamant Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 2:50pm
I wouldn't be so appalled by the box (but still appalled somewhat) if the thing weren't such a smug, self-centered, self-absorbed, pretentious jackass, as especially evidenced in the wedding ring commercial. 
*WARNING* This message was composed on a computer in a household where peanuts and peanut products are prepared and served.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Phoenix_Moon514 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 6:37pm
I'd love to kick that smug little grin off his face and make a dent in it.
“The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.”
― Ayn Rand
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 7:04pm
As of this moment, I'm writing one of my phoney-bologna fake staged battles between the Progressive box and the Geico gecko...stay tuned for details! :-)

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Phoenix_Moon514 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 7:22pm
Good thing I brought popcorn!
“The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.”
― Ayn Rand
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 7:47pm
ROUND ONE HUNDRED TWENTY ONE: THAT GODDAMN BISEXUAL PROGRESSIVE TALKING BOX vs. THAT GODDAMN FAGETY GEICO GECKO 

This battle shall take place in the kitchen (and a bit later, move to the driveway) of a pet-owning household. The kitchen is equipped with a double-bowl sink & garbage disposal, douchewasher, refrigerator, range, microwave, and numerous small TV infomercial appliances. Under the sink, there are several containers of Raid™ in aerosol bombs, a flyswatter, 47 cans of Alpo® brand dog food, and two bags of Purina® Cat Chow™ for the family cat -- which is probably uranating in its owner's underwear drawer...AGAIN!!!...(the owner wonders why his Fruit of the Loom briefs always have yellow stains and smell like cat urine, but has yet to put 2 and 2 together). The kitchen has a moderate infestation of Stag Beetle grubs (larvae), piss ants, cockroaches, and rats; and the home in general has a light infestation of crickets, carpet beetles, click beetles, termites, grasshopper nymphs, and silverfish. 

The driveway has a 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix sporting a dull baby sh*t brown paint finish and with a very fauly parking brake parked in it. 

The contestants do not necessarily have to ***USE***everything here, but they are at their disposal if needed -- or if desired. 

That goddamn fagety Geico Gecko takes first blood here, simply because he's on the scene first. He waits by the back door behind the damn unchanged catbox until that sodding Progressive talking box comes in the door. The Gecko springs out from behind its stinky hiding place, and tries to box the box's ears...but nothing happens. 

And do you know WHY nothing happened, you little green peckerhead?
It's because the Progressive Insurance talking box is a box for Satan sakes, and cardboard boxes do not have ears!!! 

That goddam bisexual Progressive Talking Box (yeah, it likes meat AND fish, hahaha!) goes on the offensive next...it rather handily swats that goddamn fagety Geico Gecko into the damn unchanged plastic cat toliet, which causes the little green dickhead to rather loudly exclaim (in that phoney-bologna fake British accent), "PISS YOU!!! THIS REALLY FUKKING REEKS!!!"
The Gecko rapidly skitters to the bathroom, jumps into the sh*tbowl, and does a few laps in the toliet water before scampering back out. 

Since the Gecko is now headed out the door and into the driveway, that goddam bisexual Progressive Talking Box goes out via the kitchen window, climbs the downspout to the roof, parks its lardass above the driveway, and waits for that goddamn queer Geico Gecko...it waits...and waits a bit more...finally, it sees the Gecko coming within range. It shouts, "CANNONBOX!!!" and begins its earthward plummet, hoping to squish the Gecko like a cockroach being stepped on...It continues its drop, whistling like a timey old bomb..and ***SPLAT!!!***
Got that fuucker!!!
And the winner i...O wait!!! The parking brake on that beater car fails, and the box is rather quickly crushed under the wheels of that street machine of steel!!! 

They both pass micturition (potty) and defecation(crapola) as they die, and rather rapidly become worm food

THE WINNER ROUND ONE HUNDRED TWENTY ONE: MUTUAL ANNIHILATION!!!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ADamant Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Mar 2014 at 7:57pm
Originally posted by Tampon Submarine Tampon Submarine wrote:

The parking brake on that beater car fails, and the box is rather quickly crushed under the wheels of that street machine of steel!!! 

My favorite part. Big smile
*WARNING* This message was composed on a computer in a household where peanuts and peanut products are prepared and served.
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