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Your biggest real life fails?

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Topic: Your biggest real life fails?
Posted By: Donathan
Subject: Your biggest real life fails?
Date Posted: 03 Jul 2015 at 1:41pm
In college, our Professor told us that he could translate anything we said in English to French. My classmates said normal things like "The weather is nice today," What time is it?" And, "I would like to see a movie today." He translated into French for them, and I....well,    I said, "I love The Power Rangers," Yep it's true. I was a 21 year old College Junior admitting he loved The Power Rangers. The class was like, LOL, WTF . The Professor just had a WTF expression... He did not translate that for me. God, what a fail!

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€







Replies:
Posted By: aka ron
Date Posted: 03 Jul 2015 at 2:07pm
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Posted By: aka ron
Date Posted: 03 Jul 2015 at 8:04pm
You attended college????  Embarrassed   The bullsh*t machine just won't quit.
Is that why you have the high paying cashiers job?
There is no grey area, you are a f**king liar, whatever you say reaks of bullsh*t.
Get over yourself dude, you just show up as sick around here.
 
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Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 03 Jul 2015 at 8:09pm
I used "fail" as a noun once.

Oh wait, never did that. Guess I'm doing okay.

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Banana!
BANANA!!
BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!


Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 03 Jul 2015 at 8:36pm
Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

You attended college????  Embarrassed   The bullsh*t machine just won't quit. 


Made it to Junior, no less. Toughed out 2+ years of college yet has no aspirations beyond "Hello, my name is".

Right.






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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: i8acannibal
Date Posted: 03 Jul 2015 at 9:55pm
He didn't finish because they didn't have any available degrees for his desired job as a sperm bank fluffer.

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Say something clever here...

No, I'm too lazy. Imagine it yourself.


Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 03 Jul 2015 at 10:06pm
Originally posted by i8acannibal i8acannibal wrote:

He didn't finish because they didn't have any available degrees for his desired job as a sperm bank fluffer.

LOL


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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 1:15am
Actually my major in college was Customer Service.

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 1:25am
And you did your thesis on Loyalty Program Enrollment.




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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 1:28am
Really, Darth, my major in college was Customer Service!

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 1:31am
Waste of money. You don't need a degree to be qualified to ask people if they'd like some gum or a candy bar today.

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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 1:38am
Darth. I didn't pay out of pocket... The Government paid for my college. Thank you, Government!

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 1:44am
That makes it so much better... a taxpayer education that someone might have actually used getting pissed away by someone who didn't use or deserve it.

Provided that it's not all more Donnash*t, which it is, so... 




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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 2:05am
Darth, there is a personal reason why the government paid for my college.....

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 5:01am
Guessing this Donathan thread can now be included in his other "greatest internet fails" one...

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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!


Posted By: i8acannibal
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 8:16am
Originally posted by Donathan Donathan wrote:

Darth, there is a personal reason why the government paid for my college.....


And MrTim, you're probably right. But let's entertain the fool.

What was the "personal" reason that the government paid for your college? Because they certainly didn't want to pay for mine.. Inquiring minds want to know.

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Say something clever here...

No, I'm too lazy. Imagine it yourself.


Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 3:39pm
Originally posted by i8acannibal i8acannibal wrote:

Originally posted by Donathan Donathan wrote:

Darth, there is a personal reason why the government paid for my college.....


And MrTim, you're probably right. But let's entertain the fool.

What was the "personal" reason that the government paid for your college? Because they certainly didn't want to pay for mine.. Inquiring minds want to know.

Unless it has something to do with him having both mommy and daddy parts, I really don't even want to hear it.


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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 3:51pm
The Government paid for my college because I had learning disabilities in school....

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: aka ron
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 3:56pm
I figured you still do have a disability otherwise you wouldn't act the way you do.


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 4:32pm
Speaking about real life fails, I innocently asked a young woman customer in her 20's if the older gentleman(who appeared to be in his 70's if that was her Grandfather. She coldly replied, "That's none of your business," and looked annoyed. I thought, "Holy crap! She might just report me!" I tried to diffuse the situation by admitting I shouldn't have asked that question and apologizing. She nodded, but still looked annoyed. Later, my Assistant Manager told me she complained about me, and said the customer said I shouldn't have asked any personal questions. (I had a feeling that she was going to report me, which is why I immediately apologized. It didn't work) I explained that it was just an innocent question, and my AM acknowledged that I was just being innocent and naive, but told me to think personal questions through before I asked them.... My coworker kind of saw the customer's point. Said, "It's kind of cute and understandable when a little kid asks that kind of question, but weird as hell and kind of stupid when a grown man asks that question." My own family asked why I asked her that question.......What a huge fail!

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: verminstew
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 4:45pm
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.  Especially when you work in retail.



Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 4:52pm
I'm known to speak without thinking at my job..... I even told a Customer who was battling double Cancers that it was horrible that he had double Cancers. My coworker was shocked and admonished me saying, "Cancer victims don't want sympathy!"

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 6:55pm
Is that the customer service they taught you in college?

"Nosey Creep 101"?


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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 7:05pm
I still don't think it was all that wrong that I asked innocently if the older gentleman was her Grandfather. I only apologized because she made it clear that she was annoyed and I didn't want her to report me....

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 7:10pm
It's wrong because NOTHING about a customer's personal life is any of your business. You're there to put the NyQuil in the bag and make sure they get their receipt. Unless you know the person, or they initiate conversation, your comments need to be generically related to the transaction... nothing more. 

Bad Donna, no credits this semester.


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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: aka ron
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 7:12pm
I was boinking a teenager when I was in my 30s, I didn't think it was a big deal but her parents had a different opinion.


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 04 Jul 2015 at 7:20pm
Okay, Darth, when you put it like that, I can see why she got upset. I thought it was an innocent question, but I now see why I shouldn't have asked her that question....

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 05 Jul 2015 at 4:50am

Originally posted by d d wrote:

I still don't think it was all that wrong that I asked innocently if the older gentleman was her Grandfather.

Innocent or not, that is still an etiquette faux pas according to Miss Manners.  What if Gramps had answered "Censored you,  I'm her pimp!", then how much more embarrassed would you have been?  Embarrassed



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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!


Posted By: sgtrock21
Date Posted: 05 Jul 2015 at 7:57pm
Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

You attended college????Β  EmbarrassedΒ Β  The bullsh*t machine just won't quit.

Is that why you have the high paying cashiers job?
There is no grey area, you are a f**king liar, whatever you say reaks of bullsh*t.
Get over yourself dude, you just show up as sick around here.

Β 


My exact reaction.

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EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous


Posted By: sgtrock21
Date Posted: 05 Jul 2015 at 8:21pm
Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

I was boinking a teenager when I was in my 30s, I didn't think it was a big deal but her parents had aΒ different opinion.

It sounds similar to the old Oregon law. Age of consent was 15 unless a parental complaint was filed.

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EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous


Posted By: aka ron
Date Posted: 05 Jul 2015 at 8:28pm
Originally posted by sgtrock21 sgtrock21 wrote:

Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

You attended college????  Embarrassed   The bullsh*t machine just won't quit.

Is that why you have the high paying cashiers job?
There is no grey area, you are a f**king liar, whatever you say reaks of bullsh*t.
Get over yourself dude, you just show up as sick around here.

 


My exact reaction.
That's where I draw the line.
He is not an innocent puppy.
He thrives on this type of crap to feed his own sick fetish.


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 05 Jul 2015 at 11:04pm
At least I have an honest, legitimate job and am not selling drugs on the street.....

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 05 Jul 2015 at 11:09pm
Are you saying there's something wrong with that, you judgemental queerbo fairy?

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Banana!
BANANA!!
BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!


Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 06 Jul 2015 at 5:03am
Originally posted by sgtrock21 sgtrock21 wrote:

Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

I was boinking a teenager when I was in my 30s, I didn't think it was a big deal but her parents had a different opinion.

It sounds similar to the old Oregon law. Age of consent was 15 unless a parental complaint was filed.
 
We'll soon have Federal Sex Police if the repressed busybody wackos get their way:
 
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/has-the-federal-government-ever-had-sex/article/2565963" rel="nofollow - http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/has-the-federal-government-ever-had-sex/article/2565963
 
Quote Thanks to proposed changes to the American Law Institute's Model Penal Code 'affirmative consent' may become the law of the land for everyone - not just students. Which means that every sexual act is considered sexual assault/rape unless you get explicit verbal consent from the other person. Yes this applies to married couples too. And yes this is insane. And unenforceable.
Quote The law wouldn't apply only to first dates or similar new encounters, but would apply even in committed relationships. This means affirmative consent would be mandated for every sexual encounter, even to married couples. Given that divorce and custody cases frequently produce false accusations of child abuse, it's easy to imagine false accusations of sexual abuse proliferating if Schulhofer and Murphy's rules aren't followed every time a couple has sex.
 
W. T. F...  Ermm


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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!


Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 06 Jul 2015 at 10:10am
Yay for reaping the rewards of a lawsuit-happy society!

I didn't ask your permission to post this, so I just raped your eyes.

Go Bacon!


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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 2:28am
Well, once laughed at someone I thought was making a funny face.... The people around me gave me a disgusted expression .... Turns out that the person I thought was making a funny face actually had a facial deformity.... I felt like a jerk.....

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: i8acannibal
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 3:41am
Was that when you first discovered the magic things known as mirrors? Wink

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Say something clever here...

No, I'm too lazy. Imagine it yourself.


Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 10:23am
Originally posted by i8acannibal i8acannibal wrote:

Was that when you first discovered the magic things known as mirrors? Wink

LOL





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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Donathan
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 12:46pm
I showed up to Sarah's parents' house to meet them for the first time, wearing a ratty Tshirt and ratty jeans.... Sarah told me to dress casually.....So, I did....

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My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.πŸ˜€ Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! πŸ˜€






Posted By: NiteRaidah
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 2:50pm
should have gone the loincloth route, then.

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I have 168 characters remaining.


Posted By: Darthhillbilly
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 3:04pm
Originally posted by Donathan Donathan wrote:

I showed up to Sarah's parents' house to meet them for the first time, wearing a ratty Tshirt and ratty jeans.... Sarah told me to dress casually.....So, I did....

Translation: I walked my old Ken doll up to the door of my Barbie dream house because I couldn't find the newer, nicer one.


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"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 3:27pm
One night many years ago, my girlfriend got me as drunk as I've ever been in my life. Yes, it was her fault, as it was her idea to get a bottle & she egged me on to drink more & more.

By the time we came home later that night & I was falling down in her front yard. Rather than let me drive home in that condition, she took me inside, got me undressed down to my tightie whites & put me to bed in her bedroom, then went & slept in her sister's room.

First thing the next morning, I awake to find her unsuspecting mom opening the bedroom door & popping her head in to let my gf know she was off to work. The vision she was greeted with instead, was me lying there flat on my back, in her daughter's bed completely uncovered & in nothing but my underwear.

I lifted my head in a foggy, hungover haze just long enough to realize where I was & whose rather startled, shocked & embarrassed face I was looking at, then passed back out as she quickly reshut the door.

Worst of all, I had a raging case of morning wood, which was trying it's darnedest to poke it's way through to stand up & say good morning to her.

Needless to say, I was mildly embarrassed.

Gf thought it was kinda funny.






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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 4:13pm

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

One night many years ago, my girlfriend got me as drunk as I've ever been in my life. Yes, it was her fault, as it was her idea to get a bottle & she egged me on to drink more & more.

By the time we came home later that night & I was falling down in her front yard. Rather than let me drive home in that condition, she took me inside, got me undressed down to my tightie whites & put me to bed in her bedroom, then went & slept in her sister's room.

First thing the next morning, I awake to find her unsuspecting mom opening the bedroom door & popping her head in to let my gf know she was off to work. The vision she was greeted with instead, was me lying there flat on my back, in her daughter's bed completely uncovered & in nothing but my underwear.

I lifted my head in a foggy, hungover haze just long enough to realize where I was & whose rather startled, shocked & embarrassed face I was looking at, then passed back out as she quickly reshut the door.

Worst of all, I had a raging case of morning wood, which was trying it's darnedest to poke it's way through to stand up & say good morning to her.

Needless to say, I was mildly embarrassed.

Gf thought it was kinda funny.

LOL The Inquiring Mindless NEED TO KNOW!:
  1. Clearly not having filed 'rape' charges, did you give birth, or go the clotheshanger-route?
  2. When 'Mrs. Robinson' ('Mom') busted you 'lifting the flag', did she decide to go to work late and take advantage of you, also?
 


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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 4:24pm
Originally posted by PaWolf PaWolf wrote:

LOLΒ The Inquiring Mindless NEED TO KNOW!:

  1. Clearly not having filed 'rape' charges, did you give birth, or go the clotheshanger-route?

  2. When 'Mrs. Robinson' ('Mom') busted you 'lifting the flag', did she decide to go to work late and take advantage of you, also?



No, no impregnation occurred & nothing funny went on between me & her mom, but later on after her sister left for school & I emerged from my alcohol induced coma & started feeling somewhat alive again, I think some fooling around was engaged in between myself & the gf.

And no, gf does not stand for grandfather!!!!




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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 07 Jul 2015 at 8:07pm

"I was mildly embarrassed".

Mildly??! (imagine LOL smiley here).





Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 08 Jul 2015 at 4:45am
Originally posted by Darthhillbilly Darthhillbilly wrote:

Originally posted by Donathan Donathan wrote:

I showed up to Sarah's parents' house to meet them for the first time, wearing a ratty Tshirt and ratty jeans.... Sarah told me to dress casually.....So, I did....

Translation: I walked my old Ken doll up to the door of my Barbie dream house because I couldn't find the newer, nicer one.
 
No, I'd take him literally on this one.  Donna is saying he makes his own leisure wear by sewing together rat pelts (obtained fresh from a bath tub filled with rats & water that he throws an electric toaster into.)  Pray that he nevers shows us a pic of himself in a rat fur mankini...  Shocked


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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!



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