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Jesus Save Us From Christian Mingle!!!

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Riverbear View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote Riverbear Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Jesus Save Us From Christian Mingle!!!
    Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 2:22am


I can't another Christian Mingle add. The sickeningly happy breeders make me want to PUKE!
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sgtrock21 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (4) Thanks(4)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 4:16am
Originally posted by Riverbear Riverbear wrote:



I can't another Christian Mingle add. The sickeningly happy breeders make me want to PUKE!

I also can't stand it. I ditched the church when I was 15 y/o. I was very sick of the hypocrisy of organized religion. Christian Mingle Makes me also want to PUKE!
EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous
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Thor View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 4:23am
 
If their Christian Mingling makes them happy, I've no problem with it.  It's not necessarily for everyone.
 
But yeah, they're a little sappy.
 
 
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Jimbo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 4:33am
We've been getting a lot of ads for JDate.

J as in Jew.

Or Jewish, if you prefer because you feel the word "Jew" sounds offensive, which I never can tell because so many people use it in both offensive & non-offensive ways.

Anyway, I didn't mean in an offensive manner.

But that's what the J in JDate stands for.

JewDate.

Their commercial spokesperson should be a typical Jewish mother saying:



"Why don't you go find yourself a nice Jewish girl/boy??!"





Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Thor View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 4:40am
 
...or, as my roommate in the 80s was told by his Jewish mother:
 
"F*ck the shiksa, but marry a Jew."
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 4:41am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

If their Christian Mingling makes them happy, I've no problem with it. It's not necessarily for everyone.

But yeah, they're a little sappy.


I find it annoying when they try to co-opt things "regular" people do.

Rock music, heavy metal music, night clubs, dating services... it's like they're trying to say "Look!!! You can be a Christian & still do stuff!!!"

Just go to church & quit trying to suck up to the rest of us.

Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Frankcastle006 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 6:07am
What's next? Aryanmatch.com??
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Thor View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 6:57am
Originally posted by Frankcastle006 Frankcastle006 wrote:

What's next? Aryanmatch.com??
 
Close.  I just saw a commercial for Blackpeoplemeet.com.
 
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote susanlynn7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 11:58am
Can't imagine the outrage if there was a whitepeoplemeet.com
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote susanlynn7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 12:22pm
The thing that gets me is if God has a specific person in mind for me to marry then I should just hang back and let fate take its course right? Wrong! You need to pay for a website in order for you to meet your chosen mate. It's just ridiculous and takes advantage of people.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 1:04pm
Originally posted by susanlynn7 susanlynn7 wrote:

The thing that gets me is if God has a specific person in mind for me to marry then I should just hang back and let fate take its course right? Wrong! You need to pay for a website in order for you to meet your chosen mate.


Does kinda fly in the face of that whole "Put your trust in Jesus" thing, doesn't it?

I'm sure that if you brought that to their attention, they'd come up with a way to rationalize & justify it using some scripture.

They always do.



Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 1:08pm
Originally posted by Frankcastle006 Frankcastle006 wrote:

What's next? Aryanmatch.com??


"ChinkLink"?

(I know, I know!!!! That was awful & I apologize!!!! But come on... how could I resist????)



Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 2:41pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by susanlynn7 susanlynn7 wrote:

The thing that gets me is if God has a specific person in mind for me to marry then I should just hang back and let fate take its course right? Wrong! You need to pay for a website in order for you to meet your chosen mate.


Does kinda fly in the face of that whole "Put your trust in Jesus" thing, doesn't it?

I'm sure that if you brought that to their attention, they'd come up with a way to rationalize & justify it using some scripture.

They always do.



 
I'm not sure what version of Christianity says that sort of thing.  I can only guess it's the same one that says you don't have to do anything to put food on the table, and once it's there, you don't have to do anything to put it in your mouth or chew it and swallow it and digest it, as God will make that all magically happen.
 
The religion you two are talking about sounds more like witchcraft.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 3:15pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:



"Why don't you go find yourself a nice Jewish girl/boy??!"




That reminds me of when Tommy's mom asked him that (sans the Jewish part) in Goodfellas:

"I get a nice one almost every night, Ma!"

LOL


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 3:50pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

I'm not sure what version of Christianity says that sort of thing. I can only guess it's the same one that says you don't have to do anything to put food on the table, and once it's there, you don't have to do anything to put it in your mouth or chew it and swallow it and digest it, as God will make that all magically happen.

The religion you two are talking about sounds more like witchcraft.


You have apparently not been exposed to many evangelical, fundamentalist, "born again" Christians.

The examples you cited about food & eating, etc., are absurd, but not all that far beyond what these people believe.

No, they don't claim that food will magically materialize out of thin air (although the Bible claims Jesus made that happen) or that it will jump in your mouth & chew itself, but they do claim thîngs like, if you are flat broke, poor & destitute, without a penny to your name, about to be evicted from your home & have your car repossessed, that all you have to do is have faith in Jesus & money will appear.

The whole message is about relinquishing control of your life & turning it over to Jesus. Not placing any trust whatsoever in your own judgements or those of other people.

So, the same should hold true for dating & finding a compatible mate. Just sit back & wait until Jesus sends someone your way.

And yes, that DOES sound like witchcraft.


Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Sep 2013 at 4:59pm
^Well, witchcraft must be better than:

Banana!
BANANA!!
BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ALE515 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 12:03am
I like the commercial where the couple gives the specific date of their marriage, but then says their son was born the following April (no specific date given). I joke with my Husband that they conceived before they got married, because they don't give a date. God wouldn't like it, now would he/she/it?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CaptainErnie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 1:47am
Originally posted by ALE515 ALE515 wrote:

I like the commercial where the couple gives the specific date of their marriage, but then says their son was born the following April (no specific date given). I joke with my Husband that they conceived before they got married, because they don't give a date. God wouldn't like it, now would he/she/it?


apparently, devout christians can't do (the) math.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote VincentPrice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 1:56am

Matthew 6:24


“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money"


-A passage which Christian Mingle has gainfully ignored

It's just as fun to scare as it is to be scared
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 2:01am

I stand by my original posts....Clicky on the blue thingies.

Direct Link To This Post  <<<---clicky #1 WTF first went through my mind...and remains
 
Direct Link To This Post  <<<---clicky #2 In regard to their sordid attempt to yank at 'down-on-their-luck un-matched types by using terrible muzak'
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote susanlynn7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 9:49am
They would say something stupid. I like how one of the couples says the date they got married and then the date they had a kid. It's like 9 months to the day from when they got married. Sometimes I think they get married just so they can have sex. Although I would think that somebody wasn't a virgin on their wedding night because it is unusual to get pregnant the first time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 4:53pm
...and on the opposite end of the spectrum, we have this: 
 
 
Satan's Video Dating Service Shocked

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote verminstew Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 5:46pm
^^LOL 
I think the Christian Mingle threads have some of the funniest comments on this whole forum.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Sep 2013 at 5:56pm
Originally posted by Tampon Submarine Tampon Submarine wrote:



...and on the opposite end of the spectrum, we have this: 
 
 
<font size="6" color="#ff0000">Satan's Video Dating Service Shocked





I seriously LOLed at "AntiChrist Boulevard"

The 666 in the phone number was a nice touch too!
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote timdubya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Sep 2013 at 5:32pm
The title of this thread keeps reminding me of this Simpsons clip:


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