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Help! My 14 year old has lost her mind

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msdeli View Drop Down
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    Posted: 10 May 2009 at 4:19am
My child wants to get her bellybutton pierced.  Her father is the overprotective type so I about fell out of my chair when she told me he approved.  Earlier this morning she was telling my husband that she didn't need to ask her dad because she didn't live with him.  I am pretty sure thats because she thought he would say no.
 
I told her not until she is at least 16, even that is too young as far as I am concerned.  Apparently his whole family thinks its alright.  I think he said yes because he thought I would say no.  Are they fricken nuts?  She can't do it without her birth certificate and I have that so I told her I guess your stuck then because my answer is no.
 
So, I guess my question is "what do yall think?"
 
She said "no ones gonna see it anyway".  Well than whats the point?
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CatWoman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CatWoman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 4:27am
I think 16 is the more appropriate age to get a body piercing.  My daughter went through this phase around the same age, msdeli.  Other girls have it done, so she wants it to.  Stick to your guns, Momma.Heart

My daughter's belly-button piercing got infected and she had to remove the jewelry.  She never got it re-pierced.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 4:31am
Stick to your guns.  If she wants one, she can wait until she's 18 (but don't be surprised if she goes out and gets one anyway), but until then, remind her that you are responsible for her.  And if you want to get graphic with her, show her pics of infected belly button piercings from the internet.  (I think she'd get more mileage from complaining to her friends that you wouldn't let her do it than she'd get from showing it off....)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote msdeli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 4:35am
Thats a good idea.  I never thought of that.  My mom got hers pierced for the big "50".  Hers got infected and she let it close up so maybe I will have her talk to her too.  I don't think she can get it done unless she has the birth certificate until she turns 16.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CatWoman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 4:38am
My daughter was slick.  I signed permission at the piercing/tattoo shop for her to get a piercing when she was 16.  She was going back there, behind my back, to get tattoos.  Since I never was into strip-searching my kids, I didn't know until she finally told me.  I told her "hey, it's your body....don't bitch if you regret this later." 

Then I went and got a tattoo for my 40th birthday, plus a nose piercing.LOL

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 4:49am

Let her do it when she's 18 and/or out on her own.  As long as she lives under your roof, she goes by your rules.  Keep in mind...you don't need her approval.  She needs yours.  You don't have to be her friend; she has plenty of those.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote msdeli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 5:04am
Thats what I have always told her.  I am not here to be her friend, I am her mother.  I know that these days having things pierced is probably the same to them as getting our ears pierced when we were kids but I just don't like it.  She knows that I did all three of my holes in each ear on my own so I am waiting for her to try and use that but I just don't think its appropriate for a 14 year old.
 
What the hell is up with these places that allow it at that age!  Her father would have to order a copy of her birth cert. from vital records in order to go behind my back.  Hopefully it won't come to that.  I am not sure what I would do in that case.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hezadancer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 5:09am
I got mine done when I was 18 and I REGRET IT. It never healed, and I'm a twig. If you have any extra flab or move your abs around a lot like I did ( I was in a lot of dance related things at the time) then its going to ooze healing white crust forever. I had it in 3 years and gave up after it decided to migrate. Now I have an ugly scar where the hole used to be. I'll GLADLY give a picture to scare her away from doing it. It might look nice when it's in, but it has to come out sometime, whether it be getting too old, or having a baby. When there's nothing there and it's just a nasty flesh tunnel or a scar, it's not so cute anymore. Tell her NO WAY.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote musicman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 5:33am
I'm not a jewelry kind of guy. I wear a wedding ring but that's it.
I even find wrist watches to be annoying.

I don't get the ring and piercing thing. Besides I have enough scars from non-elective surgery to begin with.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 5:36am
Originally posted by Hezadancer Hezadancer wrote:

I got mine done when I was 18 and I REGRET IT. It never healed, and I'm a twig. If you have any extra flab or move your abs around a lot like I did ( I was in a lot of dance related things at the time) then its going to ooze healing white crust forever. I had it in 3 years and gave up after it decided to migrate. Now I have an ugly scar where the hole used to be. I'll GLADLY give a picture to scare her away from doing it. It might look nice when it's in, but it has to come out sometime, whether it be getting too old, or having a baby. When there's nothing there and it's just a nasty flesh tunnel or a scar, it's not so cute anymore. Tell her NO WAY.
 
And I was gonna say that piercings are, at least, better than tattoos, as piercings can be undone.  By your experience, I guess that's not exactly true, either.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 7:06pm
I'm not sure pics of piercings gone bad will do the trick, not while "all my girlfriends have one and they're not infected." I imagine some of her friends also knows somewhere where
they don't check birth dates, too.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 7:31pm
You can tell her how studies show that the teenage brain is not yet fully capable of sound judgement, and you can show her the article below, and that that's why it shouldn't even be her decision, but it probably won't help. 
 
This is where, when she says "Why not?", you get to say "Because I said so".
 
And if she still tries to argue, threaten to send her to the gypsies.  And if she continues arguing after that, SEND HER TO THE GYPSIES!!!  They'll probably let her have the piercing---probably as many as she wants, in fact.
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CatWoman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 7:36pm
Originally posted by Tiz Tiz wrote:

I'm not sure pics of piercings gone bad will do the trick, not while "all my girlfriends have one and they're not infected." I imagine some of her friends also knows somewhere where
they don't check birth dates, too.


Or the kids start their own "piercing shop."

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 8:03pm
I really can't add much more to this thread because as a teen, I went behind my parents backs when they said no.Embarrassed
"Why can't I smoke cigarettes, all the other kids do." And smoking can't be any healthier than bad pierce infections. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hezadancer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2009 at 8:23pm
Originally posted by MrsHill MrsHill wrote:

Originally posted by Tiz Tiz wrote:

I'm not sure pics of piercings gone bad will do the trick, not while "all my girlfriends have one and they're not infected." I imagine some of her friends also knows somewhere where
they don't check birth dates, too.


Or the kids start their own "piercing shop."


Mine wasn't infected, it just never healed up. When the hole closes, you think it looks exactly the way it was before there was a hole? Nope. The area scars up. My friend wasn't 18 until August when I got mine done in March, so she had her friend do it for her. Since she had it done before there was so much scar tissue that it was hard to get the needle through, and she was in a lot of pain. I've no idea if she still has it. So there's another negative. Even if you get it done, and take it out, piercing it AGAIN is going to be 5x harder.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FaithSF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2009 at 4:14am
I just don't get the whole piercing/tattooing/body mutilation thing.

I have always been super-sensitive to pain (especially with the fibromyalgia), and I just cannot imagine deliberately making myself hurt.

I think the belly-button piercings are ugly, and although some tattoos can be pretty, I wish those children would realize that in 30 years, their tattoos are going to look a lot different from the ones they got.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2009 at 4:50am
Yeah, that cute little chihuahua they get tattooed on their breast in their teens is going to look like a giraffe after they hit middle age.... LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2009 at 4:55am
I get a kick outta the teens who tattoo the name of their latest boyfriend or girlfriend on themselves, 'cause of course their love is like no other love that's ever before existed in the history of mankind, and it will be that way forever.
 
Oh...and then there're the ones who have similes of their latest baby tattooed on themselves.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2009 at 11:19am
Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:

I just don't get the whole piercing/tattooing/body mutilation thing...
 
Yes!
 
Weren't born with the tattoo or the extra hole...what in the world gets into people? When we last saw our two oldest daughters, they each had decided to disfigure and maim themselves in such manners (one had a tiny tattoo - and this was funny because she is so dark you can barely see it), the other had a tiny piercing in her eyebrow, although very petite and almost unnoticeable. I wanted to drug test and sanity-check both them right then and there...but I suppose they are 'expressing' themselves in some strange way. Maybe it was because there was NO WAY on God's Green Earth they were going to do that before they were supporting themselves.
Yea, right! We robbed them of healthy childhood antics every other kid got to try out...Confused
I just don't get it.
Maybe it is a 'tribal' thing.
Maybe they became sailors and got drunk in Singapore, one weekend.
They are so close they simply had to have done it together... 
 
 
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Spicy_Meatball Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2009 at 4:24am
Originally posted by msdeli msdeli wrote:

My (14 year old)  child wants to get her bellybutton pierced.  ?
 
Lather.....Rinse....REPEAT the above sentence.....Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Spicy_Meatball Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2009 at 4:31am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

I get a kick outta the teens who tattoo the name of their latest boyfriend or girlfriend on themselves
 
 
 
LOL  Love the ones whose lips and noses and chins (OH MY!!) look as though they fell face-down into a tackle box!  Tongue
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Moochamoocha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 May 2009 at 6:34pm
Everyone and their mother has multiple tattoos and/or piercings these days. I say if you really want to stand out and be an individual, DON'T get them done. I would never get one and I sure as hell wouldn't let my kids get one, either. My parents would kill me if they found out and I'm 30!

Stand your ground, msdeli. And to show her that you are serious about her waiting, do a belly check every time she comes home from going out. It's simple - if you ask to see her navel every day, she'll think twice about getting one on the sly.
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