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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10417 |
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Kids & Cooties: Researchers say if kids are teasing each other about them, it's a good sign that hormones about ready to unleash puberty
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MrTim
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Man changes name to run for political office; Probably doesn't realize that people already call politicians some form of that, and worse
https://metro.co.uk/2018/09/24/man-named-anus-changes-facebook-profile-after-being-butt-of-too-many-jokes-7975939/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10417 |
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Telecommunications companies running out of phone numbers, want to add two new one-digit numbers; They don't know what form they'll take, or what to call them, but "0 to 9 aren't enough anymore"
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MrTim
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Survey has shocking results, kind of like dropping an iPhone while in your tub: Most young people believe that our modern technology only came out after Y2K
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10417 |
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Statistics show that on average one dog-rape happens per hour at dog parks; Researchers stress that the sexual assaults are by other dogs, not by your local weirdos
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DarkRealmStar
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Jul 2013 Location: Undisclosed Status: Offline Points: 3181 |
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Speaking of animals...
Birds drunk on fermented berries causing havoc in Minnesota; Police say birds will sober up
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/birds-drunk-on-fermented-berries-causing-havoc-in-minnesota-police-say-birds-will-sober-up/ar-BBNVEGt |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10417 |
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This Just In! Brett Kavanaugh caught naked with three nurses just moments after his birth
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MrTim
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Camera drone sales way up this year; Most owners using them to secretly peep into neighbor's windows
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MrTim
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Parking spots getting smaller; Parking lot painters say it is because everyone is driving toy cars
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10417 |
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Mixologists roll out new drink out called "The Blasey-Ford"; It's no proof
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56917 |
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Mixologists roll out new drink out called "The Kavanaugh"; One drink and you black out drunk. Later, you find out you shoved your dick in some girl's face.
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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MrTim
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Mormons don't want to be called "Mormons" anymore, want to be known by a longer, less-catchy name; South Park cartoon may eventually inadvertently discover one for them
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DarkRealmStar
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Jul 2013 Location: Undisclosed Status: Offline Points: 3181 |
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Former Mormons now being called Acid-Trippers due to confusion over new initials-only name; Many non-Mormons confuse LDS with more popularly known LSD
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56917 |
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Mormons pushing to have the word "moron" stricken from the English language so they can go back to calling themselves "Mormons" and no longer have to put up with intentional similar sounding mispronounciations.
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10417 |
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Entertainment Trivia Questions Answered: Could people in old b&w movies and TV shows see in color? The surprising answer is yes, they could!
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MrTim
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Hollywood survey shows that most people don't care to see celebrities unkempt & not made up when in public; They care even less "to see them naked"
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MrTim
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Halloween candy thefts while trick-or-treating expected to increase this year; Parents who trained their kids in self defense for the past few months lauded for "preparedness"
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MrTim
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Divers may have found ultimate protection against Great White sharks: Bubblewrap suits; However, drawbacks include divers can no longer dive, and sharks will still chew on the suits just to hear the bubbles pop
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MrTim
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Sex doll rental company will make a replica of your dead lover; Note that the small print explicitly states the replica is a "rental" and you will have to share with others
https://nypost.com/2018/10/16/sex-doll-rental-company-will-make-a-replica-of-your-dead-lover/ |
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MrTim
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It's not your imagination, Europe really is teeming with bastards; A surprising 60+% of children there are born out of wedlock
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10417 |
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To protest, Amy Schumer announces that she will not do a Super Bowl commercial despite not even being asked to do one; Nobody cares, except to be thankful she won't be wasting 30 seconds of their lives
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MrTim
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Sexual Harassment in the workplace, or Office Romance? You decide!
https://nypost.com/2018/10/22/nypd-boss-accused-to-stuffing-her-panties-in-co-workers-mouth/ |
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MrTim
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Public in more danger from bombs being dropped by comedians on late night shows than from terrorists; People demanding "These people aren't funny! Bring back Letterman, or even dig up Carson if you have to!"
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MrTim
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Thanks to gov't grant, your computer may soon be able to "love you"; Researchers claim it "will be the most perfect you'll ever get!"; Porn sites clamoring for access to the new technology
https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/pa9nvv/the-blowjob-paper-scientists-processed-109-hours-of-oral-sex-to-develop-an-ai-that-sucks-dick-autoblow |
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