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MrTim
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Jersey Shore Candles the hottest selling gift this season; Reviewers say it "brings the smell of New Jersey right into your home!"
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MrTim
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Miss America Pageant drops swimsuit competition; "It's not like they ever got wet, anyway"; Plans to replace it with athletic pole-dancing also nixed
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MrTim
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Exciting organic methane discovery made on Mars; NASA: "We've found billions of years old evidence of bacteria farts!"
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MrTim
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You get a twofer tonight
Bulletproof backpack industry may be doomed before it can even start; Schools across country beginning to ban backpacks in wake of school shootings Woman eats partially cooked male squid, gets mouth impregnated; Though she spit it out within seconds, the horny creature implanted 12 sperm sacs into her tongue & gums (Full story here ) https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-impregnated-squid-after-ate-12654166 |
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MrTim
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The first rule of Date Night Fight Club is that nobody talks about Date Night Fight Club; Adding Valu-Rite to the mix also not a good idea
http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/20180610/blotter-couple-go-to-buy-booze-get-arrested-after-beating-each-other-in-dollar-store-parking-lot |
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MrTim
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Statistics show that the teen pregnancy rate drops drastically after the age of 20; Gender studies majors still confused why the same statistic remains at a steady 0% for teen boys
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MrTim
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ABC to order new seasons of Roseanne, but without Roseanne; Al Franken to be cast as title character as "Louie Anderson wasn't available"
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MrTim
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Happy Father's Day! edition; Annual reminder to deadbeat dads to pony up their back child support
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MrTim
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You decide! The scales of justice are equal: Which one is the more stupid?
https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/report-woman-shoots-husband-in-testicles-after-he-tries-to-take-her-air-conditioner/770435073?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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Long forgotten by most & thought dead, Peter Fonda makes pathetic bid for attention; Aged actor tweets nasty things about women & children, hopes to be Alec Baldwin's VP nominee
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MrTim
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Woman claims that drinking her dog's urine cleared up her chronic acne; However, while she now looks good, she also has worms
https://nypost.com/2018/06/20/woman-claims-drinking-her-dogs-urine-cleared-up-her-acne/? |
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MrTim
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Canadian children being kept in cages after crossing into U.S.; Canadian parents say "eh, so what, just as long as they feed'em while we're here on vacation"
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MrTim
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New treatment announced for gambling addicts: Gamblers can only bet on sloth races, which can take weeks for a winner to cross finish line; "All of the anticipation and excitement is drawn out over time in one game, instead of a multitude of games with quicker resolution" says a prof
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MrTim
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CNN claiming they have "the greatest ratings ever", but people not named "CNN" disagree; Even This Just In! consistently beats CNN in the ratings
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MrTim
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School participation up this year for Career Mentoring Day; Many students get first hand job experience
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MrTim
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California getting weirder by the day, may need to be isolated from rest of US; Trump: "We're going to need a longer wall, I tell you, much longer"
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MrTim
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Brooklyn Bridge reported stolen; Man files police report, claiming that someone sold "some naive sap" a fake deed to his bridge
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MrTim
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USA Independence Day celebrations over, travel advisory lifted; British nationals no longer have to hide their tea
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MrTim
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Climate Change entering new disturbing phase; People freaking out when they learn that half the planet is getting hotter while the other half is getting colder, at the same time
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MrTim
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Going to church can keep you out of Heaven; Study finds that people who go to church live a few years longer than those who don't
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MrTim
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Vicious bitches not limited to the human world; Female Black Widow spiders often fake being lesbians to attract, kill (and eat) their female rivals
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MrTim
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Thai cave rescue TV coverage gets better ratings than World Cup; Belgium team so bad that bookies not taking bets they'd win against Thai kids soccer team in exhibition match
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MrTim
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Trump to pack Supreme Court to 11 judges and create a SCOTUS football team; RBG angling to be a linebacker
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Lowellchris
Junior Executive Joined: 22 Apr 2018 Location: Lowell Indiana Status: Offline Points: 88 |
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And safe for Fake Jamaican three card monte weed dealers ..
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It grinds my gears
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MrTim
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Police arrest crazed drug-dealing criminal shoplifting in grocery store; Yellin' melon felon now gellin' in a cell for sellin'
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