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MrTim
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"Diversity Math" failure at NFL; Despite fact that females make up over 50% of US population, there are 0% female NFL coaches
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MrTim
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Beer sales drop another 3% in Canada due to people switching to legal pot; Consumers still stay fat, though, due to the munchies factor
https://boingboing.net/2020/01/07/canada-legalized-pot-and-beer.html |
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MrTim
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(Part 5 in a continuing series)
Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? Woodstock died after flying into a plate glass window; His body was eaten by a passing raccoon before he could be buried |
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MrTim
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"Megxit" Underway! Prince Harry, Meghan Markle step back from their trivial "Royal Duties" to seek fame in North America as NeoKardashians
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MrTim
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Even without AI guiding it, researchers discover that the Internet is smart. Smarter than you! Most people surveyed know very little about their own 'smart' devices, though some even give them cutesy names
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MrTim
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Statistics show that if you live in a Southern California beach city, you can live to be 100! If you don't die early from mudslides or wild fires, or are a victim of a celebrity
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MrTim
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Best chance of Democrat win in 2020 revealed: Biden may pick Meghan Markle as his VP running mate; Media already drooling at the possibility
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MrTim
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Pelosi gives away pens with spelling error for Senate impeachment trial; Pens say "Untied States of America" and should be showing up on eBay soon
https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bs-xpm-1999-01-16-9901160271-story.html |
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MrTim
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Academy of Silent Film Awards to be held on radio this year; Not enough TV sponsors could be found, organizers say
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MrTim
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Paleontologists discover that early humans had a form of TV; Images painted on cave walls "seem to move in the light from fires, and running commentary from the audience was probably very entertaining"
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MrTim
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Trump at economic summit in Switzerland; Democrats scream that his "fleeing the country" during impeachment trial is proof of guilt
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MrTim
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Apu was first, Linda Belcher on 10-year running Bob's Burgers is next; 'Woke' activists soiling their diapers after discovering woman character has been voiced by a man all this time and now want him gone
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MrTim
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Coney Island changing it's name back to Rabbit Island; Hundreds of the cute furry animals will also be imported so that the locals can learn to distinguish them from the rat population
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MrTim
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NY Governor Cuomo wants car passengers to wear helmets for safety; May also require subway riders to wear helmets, spit guards, and football shoulder pads
https://www.thedrive.com/news/31950/ny-governor-cuomo-would-consider-requiring-helmets-for-car-passengers |
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MrTim
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Las Vegas revises it's famous "What happens here, stays here" slogan;
The city's new catchphrase is now "What happens here, only happens here" but faces stiff competition from Florida's weird news reports
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MrTim
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Organic produce shoppers bracing for disappointment; Decaf potato crop wiped out this year by cold, wet weather
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MrTim
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Protesting French firefighters lighting themselves on fire to get 25% raise; Police putting them out with water cannon, but not using Perrier
https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/28/french-firefighters-set-alight-start-fighting-police-12139804/ |
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MrTim
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After many years of being there, Tom Brady missed being in the Super Bowl this year; Famous QB borrowed a Kansas City Chiefs uniform, tried to sneak onto the field during game to play
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MrTim
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Florida-like voting app snafu delays Democrat results in Iowa caucus; Out of all candidates running, Trump declared winner
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MrTim
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World clothing experts agree that the beret is pretty much useless as a hat; "The shape even allows bird poop to roll down and onto your back, or worse" says one clothing designer
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MrTim
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Two more top terrorists awarded Nobel prizes; Warheads contained forms of explosives developed from Nobel's invention of dynamite
https://www.dailywire.com/news/breaking-white-house-confirms-trump-has-killed-two-more-top-terrorists |
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MrTim
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Vegan hunters extol the use of bow & arrows when stalking their prey; "Cabbages are relatively sedate and easy to bring down with a single shot, while carrots are harder to hit because they hide" says one live-off-the-landscape'r
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MrTim
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Biden beaten out by The Village People in New Hampshire primary; Gay man, Indian, finished ahead of former VP
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MrTim
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Dogs filing a complaint about their treatment at Westminister Dog Show; "We're tired of cold human hands feeling our junk" said an anonymous Labradoodle
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MrTim
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Social media experts say that you should ignore the saying “Dance like nobody’s watching”; They warn "People will record you on their phones, and, always wear pants"; Also, find the top 100 silly dancing videos here !
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