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MrTim
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LEGO planning to find replacement material for it's plastic bricks; One option is solidified non-smokable hemp, "which would also be softer if stepped on"
https://www.popularmechanics.co.za/stuff/lego-plans-to-find-replacement-material-for-bricks-by-2030/ |
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MrTim
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Ignorant People Who Never Cooked For Themselves telling
everybody not to rinse raw poultry "because it won't get rid of the
germs"; Any hair, dirt, fecal matter, or blood on your unwashed food
"is okay, though, because it's within FDA limits for such contaminates"
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MrTim
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Another named event has been added to the yearly calendar; "Blue Saturday" is the day after Black Friday, when you realize just how much money you spent and how sad it makes you
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MrTim
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The surprising reasons why the Sunday after Thanksgiving is the second busiest day of travel of the year: Compared to the busiest day, many just don't want to return home, and others die
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MrTim
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Josh Brolin joins fad of butthole sun tanning, discovers he should have used sunblock; Actor cries for days after sunburning his poop hole, warns others against "overdoing it"
https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/perineum-sunning-josh-brolin |
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MrTim
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No headline really necessary; The link says it all:
https://legalinsurrection.com/2019/12/highly-contagious-urine-sent-to-wrong-address-forces-evacuation-of-movie-theater-showing-frozen-2/ |
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MrTim
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Thousands of inmates filing "cruel & unusual punishment" lawsuits; Claimed that prison TV showed Trump impeachment hearing coverage live, and they had no way to escape it
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MrTim
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Sighs of relief around the country; Statistics show the last of the leftovers are finally gone the second Sunday after Thanksgiving
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MrTim
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Adolf Hitler's soiled underwear from his 1945 suicide sells at auction for £3.6 million; Seller and buyer remain anonymous, but experts confirmed the authenticity of the historic item
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MrTim
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Kids freaking out before Christmas; Santa's 'Gimme These Toys Now!' app is down, greedy tykes redirected to submit requests via fax
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MrTim
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Triscuit-deckaphobia? Nabisco releases a thirteen-sided cracker just for the occasional Friday the Thirteenth
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MrTim
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Fake guacamole in restaraunts more prevalent than you think; But, some food experts say it often tastes better than the real thing
https://www.foodandwine.com/syndication/fake-guacamole-taqueria |
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MrTim
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Why so many bodies of people who died trying to climb Mt. Everest will never be recovered: Reports confirmed that Himalayan Yeti often grab the frozen corpses for a quick and easy meal
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MrTim
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Porch pirates stepping up their game; Thieves leaving exploding turd box bombs in place of the packages they steal; Recipients urged to "check their deliveries carefully" before taking them inside
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MrTim
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Climate change rally in South Florida turns into stampede as activists protesting against rising sea levels flee in panic from sudden high water at beach; Meteorologists say not to worry, as "it's only high tide, which happens at least once a day"
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MrTim
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Santa made his annual Christmas sleigh run early this morning, even future Bond villians received presents; Most popular gift this year was popcorn, in all varieties of flavors
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MrTim
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Sick of those 'new' gas cans that don't work? Be heard and change it!
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/bring-back-old-gas-cans |
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MrTim
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(Part 1 in a continuing series)
Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? Peppermint Patty became a long-haul trucker and married a river barge captain |
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MrTim
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(Part 2 in a continuing series)
Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? Marcy was a deep cover Chinese espionage agent; She grew up to become Honey from Doonesbury |
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MrTim
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(Part 3 in a continuing series)
Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? Schroeder was (allegedly) groped by Kevin Spacey, and became an agoraphobic recluse; He refuses to be in a room if only one other person is present |
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MrTim
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Most people happy that the last Monday of 2019 is over; All things considered, it wasn't too bad, they say; Also, only 360 more shopping days left until next Christmas!
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MrTim
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You will all be dead in the next 5 days; 2004 predictions still have a short time to actually occur; Scoffers say "You idgits can't even predict tomorrow's weather!"
https://summit.news/2019/12/27/report-hyped-by-climate-alarmists-warned-of-million-of-deaths-nuclear-war-sunken-major-cities-by-2020/ |
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MrTim
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(Part 4 in a continuing series)
Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? Rerun Van Pelt was raised to be a genetically compatible organ donor for the rest of the family; Parts of him still live on in them |
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MrTim
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Iranian General Suliemani killed by missiles at Bagdad airport after trying to avoid TSA security checkpoint; TSA says "We take security breaches very seriously, and deal with them appropriately"
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MrTim
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(Part 4 in a continuing series)
Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? In his old age, Snoopy came down with canine hip displacia and had to be put to sleep; The parents told the kids that he was sent back to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm |
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