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MrTim
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Study finds that your pets don't care for the names you give them; Most dogs prefer badass names like "Spike" or "Razor", and cats really hate being called "Stinky" or "Fat"
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MrTim
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Invention of alcoholic beverages may have spurred human evolution; Paleantologists suspect practice of fermenting fruit juices happened 300,000 years earlier than thought, and that it lowered barriers to mating among humanity's earliest ancestors
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MrTim
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Face-feeling sign language for the deaf & blind not working out too well; Most conversations rapidly devolve into slapping and punching
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MrTim
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French rioting and setting fires over national gas tax hikes; Protestors made even more angry by having to pay higher taxes for fuel to make their gasoline bombs
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MrTim
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Polar Bear Club cancels annual dive into icy water after real and hungry polar bears show up; Organizers say "Some of our members resemble fat, juicy seals, and we didn't want them to get mistakenly eaten"
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MrTim
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Anthony Weiner likely to be reincarnated, say Buddhists; Some believe he wants to come back as a cockroach
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MrTim
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Computer experts still warning that robot AI's are inherently insane and dangerous; 24 human workers hospitalized after Amazon warehouse robot attacks them with bear repellent; Police shot the robot dead after 6 hour standoff
https://legalinsurrection.com/2018/12/24-amazon-workers-in-new-jersey-hospitalized-after-robot-sprays-them-with-bear-repellent/ |
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MrTim
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Despite her shocking suicide in the final comic strip, most people look fondly upon the Cathy cartoon series; Many even think she could have been the face of the #MeToo movement
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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^^ I don't remember much of it either, except that she really loved her wine...
PETA protesting against clothing companies testing their products on animals; Fashion designers tell PETA wackos "That would never work, as the clothes won't fit!" |
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MrTim
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Scientists say you shouldn't be alarmed, because the sea levels are not rising; But, they say, you should be alarmed, because the land is sinking
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MrTim
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After Kevin Hart's departure, the Oscars are considering going host-less because nobody will step up; Host duties to be replaced by terrible SNL style skits, with robots opening the Award envelopes instead of lower-tier celebs
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MrTim
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California considers monthly tax on text messages; Money would be used to fund programs that make phone service available for
https://thehill.com/policy/technology/420982-california-considers-tax-on-text-messages-to-fund-cell-service-for-low |
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MrTim
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Want to avoid a DUI? Then drink "Police Beer"!; Cops less likely to bust customers who buy this brand, as their pensions are heavily invested in the company
p.s. Not really "less likely". Your ass is still going to get nailed... |
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MrTim
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What should kids expect Santa to put in their stockings this year? Experts say that would be a banana, because they fit into most Christmas stockings, and they are a naturally festive yellow
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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Shaaaame! Where's your disclaimer which points out this does not hold true for residents of Catholic homes for boys and Alter Boys?
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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DarkRealmStar
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Jul 2013 Location: Undisclosed Status: Offline Points: 3181 |
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The People Have
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MrTim
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^^The Feds also stepped in to kill that, so it's all good...
Deranged people tick Santa off, get put on his 'Naughty List'; All are going to receive big chunks of coal to further piss them off about 'Climate Change', say elf insiders https://www.dcclothesline.com/2018/12/16/santa-is-politically-incorrect-survey-says-he-should-be-female-or-gender-neutral/ |
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MrTim
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Facial recognition technology questionable, even wildly inaccurate at times; Researchers say it somehow has an inbuilt bias and sometimes wrongly accuses people of being criminals just for fun
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MrTim
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Shopping gurus say there is still time for you to get your Anti-Reindeer Poop Shield; The funny brown-spattered umbrella is the #1 selling item on Amazon, or would be if it actually existed
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MrTim
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Annual PSA: This is the time of year when really stupid and unnecessary house fires occur; Please be careful and don't end up being one of 'Those People' on your local news; Yes, that means you too, indoor drone flyers
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MrTim
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Government "shutdown" not really hurting economy or nation; In fact, D.C. brothels see uptick in business as non-working bored politicians and bureaucrats look for "something to do"
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MrTim
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Santa flies around the world, wishing everybody a Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth; Shootings in Chicago cease for 20 minutes
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MrTim
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"Dear Kids,": Santa enjoyed the milk & cookies, but didn't touch the healthy salads left for him; Threat from tainted lettuce was one reason, but other was Santa just isn't into that hippie organic food
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MrTim
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Police trying to catch flasher who dips his testicles in glitter; Some women saying it's "pretty nuts"
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