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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 2018 at 5:17am
Burglar breaks into escape room, couldn't figure out how to escape;  Police arrest him after he calls 911 for help

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/07/10/burglar-breaks-into-escape-room-cant-figure-out-how-to-escape.html

(He only had to unlock the front door... Tongue)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jul 2018 at 5:41am
Police tell man they can't charge grizzly bear with rape "because it's not a person";  Suspicions also that "some really potent weed" may have been involved

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/colorado-man-claims-he-was-held-2-weeks-as-a-sex-slave-by-a-grizzly-bear/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2018 at 5:37am
Health experts recommend that you cook your salads for safety;  Vegans & vegetarians commonly have the foodborne parasite cyclospora, though more people are now catching it at fast food salad bars
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Jul 2018 at 4:54am
Mystery solved of why UFO sightings have dropped off and are now only seen in certain areas:  ET's have become addicted to earth drugs and fly UFO's to drug cartel territory and rural areas with meth labs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2018 at 5:33am
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, and they do;  Study shows that girls have more fun than boys, sometimes a lot more
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2018 at 5:41am
Yet another new warning label to put on products:  Due to fire hazard, Don't leave water bottles in your car;  Automotive arsonists cheer scientists for discovering a new untraceable method they can use

https://www.circa.com/story/2018/07/16/science/hot-water-bottles-in-cars-could-be-fire-hazard
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2018 at 5:38am
Environmentalists going around the bend again:  Demonstrations to be held at solar panel farms this summer to protest against the fracking of sunlight
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Jul 2018 at 5:32am
Majority of physicians & pharmacists disagree with Mary Poppins' medical advice;  A spoonful of sugar taken with your medicine can often cause you even bigger problems 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2018 at 5:21am
Chicago declared "rat capital" of America;  Citizens demanding guns for protection against vermin, say humanely trapping them for adoption is "just not working"

https://www.dailywire.com/news/33390/thanks-rahm-chicago-named-rat-capital-america-joseph-curl
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Jul 2018 at 5:59am
Little fish-shaped orange-colored Goldfish Crackers recalled because they might contain real salmon!  Corretcion:  Might contain salmonella 

Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Jul 2018 at 5:13am
Facebook users bailing as Facebook starts to implement new facial recognition software;  Facebookers will literally have to log in with their face and allow advertisers to see them without makeup & with 'morning hair'



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jul 2018 at 6:23am
Only In Florida:  Python dies after eating garden hose;  14 footer thought it was eating another snake, swallowed 50 foot hose instead


(and thus another urban legend is born...  Wink )
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jul 2018 at 5:18am
Demon excorcism goes horribly wrong for all parties;  Priest accidently used sugar instead of salt when making Circle of Protection, letting demon escape, but demon later died of diabetes
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jul 2018 at 5:47am
Millenials increasingly turning to YouTube to learn how to do stuff;  Many looked up videos on how to use a tape measure after not being able to make it stick
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Aug 2018 at 6:02am
Drinking beer may be making men more womanly:  Hops in beer are high in photoestrogens;  Health experts say to avoid hormone changes, drink the watered down swill brands, or drink your brew with a testosterone-adding egg


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Aug 2018 at 5:54am
Social Justice scolds becoming the new incarnation of Dean Wormer;  Everything in Animal House offends them to no end, but they can't understand why the movie is so popular

https://legalinsurrection.com/2018/08/social-justice-warriors-have-finally-come-for-the-comedy-classic-animal-house/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Aug 2018 at 5:30am
Jailhouse lawyers claim it's legal in most states to taze your own family members;  At least it would be if they could rewrite the law
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Aug 2018 at 5:45am
Internet to be shut down and restricted in six weeks;  Only those who can dance like Bruno Mars will be allowed access
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2018 at 5:32am
In an effort to win back viewers lost due to boycotting player protests, NFL is introducing male dancers;  According to marketing studies, move is expected to appeal to as many males as females


https://fox6now.com/2018/08/07/nfls-first-male-dancers-will-hit-the-sidelines-this-season/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Aug 2018 at 6:31am
"Permission?  We don't need your steenkin' permission!";  Facebook wants your bank info so they can helpfully display it to you while you shop online


https://pjmedia.com/trending/facebook-brazenly-asks-banks-for-customer-bank-balances-credit-card-numbers/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Aug 2018 at 5:14am
Coming soon to a store near you:  Square hot dogs;  Developer claims they "won't roll off the table like round ones do"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Aug 2018 at 5:20am
Juice box industry to go out of business due to worldwide ban of plastic straws;  People find that it's "nearly impossible" to poke a paper straw into the boxes
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Aug 2018 at 5:35am
Physicists discover a new atomic element that is very dense and causes slowness in other matter;  The new element has been named Moron, and is only found in the brains of some people and animals
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2018 at 6:14am
Consumer spending improving economy, creating new businesses;  Also, people will spend money on anything: 


https://www.lostateminor.com/2018/08/08/woman-earns-50000-year-selling-luxury-chicken-diapers/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Aug 2018 at 6:02am
Run on gas stations as Venezuela announces it will no longer subsidize 'free' gasoline;  At current price of 1 Bolivar per gallon, one US dollar can buy you over 10,000 gallons
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