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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Nov 2017 at 5:43am
Void found in Great Pyramid of Giza "nothing new";  Egyptologists say it's just more proof that ancient Egyptian building contractors were every bit as dishonest as today's modern counterparts in claiming credit for work not actually done, but well disguised to appear so


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Nov 2017 at 5:20am
Many big box store chains planning to "close" for 6 hours on Thanksgiving Day to appear as honoring the national holiday;  However, the employees will be locked inside so they'll be there for Black Friday Midnight Sales re-openings
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Nov 2017 at 4:53am
In today's WTF news:  

Reminder:  Use caution when answering your door;  Jehovah's Witnesses at it again

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5060383/Canadian-Mounties-arrest-5-naked-suspects-kidnapping.html

Quote The Great White North

There are strange things done in the midnight sun,
 By the men who wear no clothes.
 The Arctic trails have their frozen vales,
 that would make your ass damn cold.
 The Northern lights have seen queer fights,
 but the queerest they ever did see,
Was that time in the goop of county Luduc,
when nudists did kidnap, then flee.


WTF = Wednesday Thursday Friday 

No word if PaWolf was involved or not...  LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2017 at 5:22am
Lawyers for mermaids filing class-action discrimination suit against government;  Lawsuit contends that their clients are entitled to underwater voting booths according to the Americans with Disabilities Act, opponents say the whole thing is "a fishing expedition" for cash
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Nov 2017 at 6:10am
Many people making a big deal of "coming out of the closet" as fat;  Everybody except the blind replying "um, we kinda knew you were fat already, it was pretty obvious"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Nov 2017 at 6:11am
Attempted hockey game ends in disaster;  Impatient players rush into shallow lake with skates on even though temperatures nowhere near low enough to form ice;  No injuries or drownings reported
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Nov 2017 at 6:03am
Mugabe trapped in airport;  President of Zimbabwe stuck in slow-moving TSA security line, may never get out
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote regulus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Nov 2017 at 3:35am
Children on Santa's "Naughty" List Polled, Given a Choice of Lumps of Coal or a Pay-TV subscription they answered unanimously for the Coal.
Poiuyt Power!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Nov 2017 at 5:34am
Dozens of people dead after being trampled by "tens of thousands" spooked turkeys at turkey farm tour;  Police say the stampede was sparked by an employee "molesting" one of the birds
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Nov 2017 at 6:09am
Confirmed:  Charles Manson sends Tweet from The Beyond;  It says "Its starting to get warm down here"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Nov 2017 at 5:51am
Guys, need a little holiday cash?  Donate a testicle, get $35 thou, and a free artificial replacement!

http://now8news.com/donate-a-testicle-the-payout-for-this-is-35000/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Nov 2017 at 6:19am
With nude selfies going viral, is your Congressperson a 'Perpetrator' or a 'Victim'?    Take our poll and find out!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Nov 2017 at 6:22am
Smoking marijuana is legal in North Korea;  However, due to strict food rationing, eating marijuana is a crime


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Nov 2017 at 5:35am
Reports of "gunshots" at mall sends shoppers scurrying for cover;  Mall cops with nightsticks locate, mercilessly beat suspect who had only been "farting rather loudly"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Nov 2017 at 5:52am
Debate still raging over "proper way" to hang toilet paper;  However, most people don't care as long as it is there  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Nov 2017 at 4:52am
UK Pizza Hut franchises now selling vegan pizza;  Non-dairy fake cheese being used, in addition to their already fake meatless pepperoni
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Dec 2017 at 6:04am
Comparative study finds that chimpanzees use smartphones more than Millennials, but Millennials lose them less;  Meanwhile, orangutangs are remarkably adept at setting up illegal online gambling sites
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2017 at 6:17am
Garden shed in Arles, France sells for 20 million Euros after being confirmed to have been painted by Vincent Van Gogh;  Famous artist used two coats of blue-gray paint to cover the exterior while doing handyman work on the side
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2017 at 5:03am
Survey finds that 26% of Americans & UK residents haven't read a book in the past year;  Also, the exact same percentage of people didn't even read the survey

http://www.intellectualtakeout.org/blog/1-5-cant-name-author-new-survey-finds
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2017 at 5:33am
Woman claims to have had sex with 20 ghosts;  One ghost affair ended after being caught in act by husband, but she's "not adverse to conceiving a ghost-baby"  


https://nypost.com/2017/12/08/woman-slut-shamed-for-having-sex-with-20-ghosts/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Dec 2017 at 5:37am
Fashion experts say you are allowed to wear white after Labor Day;  However, you are not allowed to wear white when working with pomegranates  


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Dec 2017 at 5:48am
Newest holiday Hess truck selling out like hotcakes;  Festive 2017 Hess truck comes with a crane arm, carries eight working Port-O-Lets, and tows a large suction-pumping waste tank 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Dec 2017 at 5:38am
Disney buys out FOX entertainment, other studio franchises;  Work already beginning on a Star Wars/Star Trek crossover movie 



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Dec 2017 at 6:00am
You may be having unexpected guests over for Christmas:  Paranormal experts say to leave an extra wrapped gift under the tree for resident ghosts to open, even if it is just an empty box, as "They love receiving anything!";  Also, an important yearly reminder to poke air holes in the packaging when giving live pets as gifts
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Dec 2017 at 5:43am
Portland, Oregon mortified that the homeless are coming to their city to die;  City has highest rate of homeless deaths in nation, with more coming every day to reach their "Final Destination" 
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