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MrTim
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History You Didn't Know About The Entertainment Industry: Tap dancing got it's start from people trying to get dog and horse poo off the bottom of their shoes; "It was hilarious for bystanders to watch, and soon developed into a popular act" says historian
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MrTim
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PETA wants boycott of "A Dog's Purpose" movie because a dog got wet during filming; Also, stifled laughter at press conference when PETA reps got upset after being asked what their feelings were about wet pussies
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MrTim
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Trump seen walking across Potomac without getting feet wet; Media claiming "Trump can't swim!"
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MrTim
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Weird news, or just a stupid person? You decide! http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/02/01/Woman-called-police-to-report-drug-dealers-outrageous-price-increase/1921485960670/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=9 |
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MrTim
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NFL to inspect equipment during Super Bowl to prevent repeat of 'DeflateGate'; NFL Commissioner Beavis: "We'd like to feel Mr. Brady's balls, heh-heh heh-heh heh, to make sure they aren't, heh-heh-heh heh-heh, soft, heh-heh-heh"
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MrTim
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Tom Brady's Super Bowl jersey stolen, worth almost $500k; Crack team of ninja assassins sent out to retrieve it
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MrTim
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Tom Brady's Super Bowl jersey found in peep show district; Reports are that it is covered with "a sticky white substance, and stains that may never come out"
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MrTim
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Begin your "We're all going to die!" parties; Moon reported to be locked into a death spiral with earth and may crash into us someday
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MrTim
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Scientists freaking out that Trump wall could harm Monarch butterfly's migration; Sensible people asking "Really? Just how tall do they think this wall is going to be?"
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MrTim
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Start saving up your money to buy something totally awesome! KISS to release officially licensed KISS Air Guitar Strings! Wow your friends!
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MrTim
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Nudes back in Playboy; Declining sales, complaints of eyestrain due to having only articles to read, forces return of magazine's most popular feature
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MrTim
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Valentine's Day celebrations over; Many now dreading results from VD Day tests, hoping for a negative result
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MrTim
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Electron microscope makes amazing discovery: Scientists find tiny creatures called "calories" that live in your closet and dresser, and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night
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MrTim
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Kid Rock may run against Al Franken for senate seat; Franken "not optimistic about winning in a rap battle debate" with his opponent
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MrTim
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Weird animal sighting in Australia; Locals not surprised, say it's just another thing that if it bites you, you die https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2835366/mysterious-half-cat-half-kangaroo-filmed-creeping-around-the-bushes-i-australian-forest/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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President's Day Edition Lincoln's "assassination" was exploited for political purposes; Exposed coverup reveals that Lincoln was actually shot from behind by angry theatre attendee because he blocked view of stage by wearing his stove pipe hat |
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MrTim
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Disney's Hall of Presidents animatronic Trump to be interactive; Chief Engineer says "If you throw anything at it, it can catch it and throw it back at almost 90mph, like a baseball pitcher. We're trying to dial down the speed, because pens are still pretty lethal"
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MrTim
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MrTim
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City officials want to lengthen Dick Street; Improvements also expected to "make it stronger, and last longer" http://nypost.com/2017/02/15/officials-want-to-make-dick-street-longer/ |
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MrTim
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Owner of New York zoo planning to live-stream a giraffe giving birth says video feed was briefly removed from YouTube because animal rights activists complained it was "sexually explicit"; Furries also angry with activists for unexplained reasons |
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MrTim
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Wearing Mardi Gras bead necklaces repels zombies, say drunken parade revelers; (Disclaimer: This 'urban legend' has not been proven. Do so at your own risk.)
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MrTim
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Based on current statistics, the entire state of California will be homeless in ten years; Families will live in their cars and band together in "Road Warrior"-style gangs for protection
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MrTim
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Surprising "Nostalgia" study: Except for TV references and music on the radio, most people over 35 don't remember anything from the 1980's; Also, those who lived through the 1970's only remember it as "dirty and run down"
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MrTim
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HR departments prove that it is possible for someone to work 8 days a week; However, they say almost all employers forbid it because "It costs more trouble and money than it is worth"
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MrTim
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Neil deGrasse Tyson scientifically dismisses the Tooth Fairy and Santa, but can't explain how the South Park gnomes are stealing his underwear; To date no ransom demands have been made
http://acculturated.com/neil-degrasse-tyson-tries-to-kill-the-tooth-fairy/ |
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