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MrTim
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Toilet paper mega-brand introduces ‘cutting edge’ design; Literally, prepare for paper cuts; Charmin announces a new feature that's been in the works for five years
https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/toilet-paper-mega-brand-introduces-cutting-edge-design-find-out-what |
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MrTim
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TSA begging people to remove their pets from carryon luggage before it is sent through the x-ray machine; "Most people are just forgetful, but some hope the x-ray machine will turn their pet into the next Spiderman"
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/tsa-pets-x-rays-airport-trnd/index.html?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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Careful about what you wish for! Hospital ICU delared a "health hazard" after Insane Clown Posse visit
https://thehardtimes.net/music/icu-needs-to-be-re-sterilized-after-insane-clown-posse-make-a-wish-visit/ (You really need to read that... ) |
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MrTim
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Company gives staff time off to pleasure themselves as orgasms 'boost productivity'; Company janitors demanding massive payraises and HAZMAT suits
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/love-sex/company-gives-staff-time-pleasure-31037473#source=push |
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MrTim
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Cop pulls over man on horse for DUI; No, it wasn't the horse that was drunk...
https://www.iheart.com/content/2023-09-14-man-nabbed-for-dui-while-riding-a-horse-with-an-open-container-of-alcohol/ |
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MrTim
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Art critics may be stupid, but not all of the time; Danish artist who submitted empty frames as artwork told to repay funding of 532,000 kroner
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/sep/18/danish-artist-jens-haaning-empty-frames-ordered-repay |
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MrTim
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Drunk stripper tries to get out of DUI stop, fails; Attempt to do her song and dance routine for cop doesn't work, as he wasn't also drunk
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/boozed-up-stripper-tries-seduce-30953433#source=push (yes, probably not her best work... ;-) |
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MrTim
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Orangutan throws possum from top of huge zoo enclosure; Visitors happily took selfies once they realized what was happening
https://breaking911.com/watch-orangutan-throws-possum-from-top-of-huge-zoo-enclosure-as-horrified-visitors-look-on/?onesignal_site_push_notification |
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MrTim
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Florida man arrested after pelting Walgreen's workers with Snickers bars; Perp reportedly became “irate” and began throwing Snickers bars at a female employee after being denied smokes
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/snickers-walgreens-battery-701638 I hope Donathan wasn't hurt...! |
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MrTim
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“My husband was in shorts, and was getting the dog’s saliva goo on his leg”; Couple on airplane was lucky the dog wasn't also horny
https://nypost.com/2023/09/08/couple-demand-refund-after-singapore-airlines-flight-ruined-by-farting-dog/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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Survey finds that most people have stopped watching Late Night TV shows; In fact, respondants said they could not pick hosts out of a police lineup
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MrTim
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Want bacon that sizzles itself in the pan? Get your German radioactive boar, now!
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/scientists-finally-know-why-germany-s-wild-boar-are-surprisingly-radioactive/ar-AA1gaDon |
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MrTim
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Burning Man 2023 is now declared a national emergency by the US
government as over 73,000 campers are stranded, sheltering in place in
their campsites at event; Dummies camped out in a desert lakebed, and then the rains came
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MrTim
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New York police will use drones to monitor backyard parties this weekend, spurring privacy concerns; However, some areas won't be covered at all, due to people saying "It would be a shame if sometin' happened to it (the drone), ya know?"
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MrTim
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Survey of movie fans finds that they view Spiderman as a whining little biotch; Film critics tend to agree, pointing out how the masked hero's character has been stereotyped throughout his films
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MrTim
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Kleenex tissues, Little Debbie, other major brands being discontinued in Canada; Nobody is saying why, but gossip is that some juicy scandal is involved
https://globalnews.ca/news/9919384/kleenex-discontinued-canada/?utm_source=notification |
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MrTim
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Results of the Presidential Infidelities Poll in: Most people want to see that White House painting of Bill Clinton in the blue dress
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MrTim
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Microsoft AI lists Ottawa Food Bank as a top-ten must-see tourist destination in Canada; The AI suggests "visiting on an empty stomach", and to remember to carve your initials into an angry moose before leaving the country
https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2023/08/microsoft-ai-suggests-food-bank-as-a-cannot-miss-tourist-spot-in-canada/ |
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MrTim
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Man straps 39 pancakes to his chest to understand his wife's struggle with big boobs; Picture Note: She's not that stacked
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/man-straps-39-pancakes-to-his-chest-to-understand-wifes-struggle/news-story/6b476e4d19c84c4879306ea14b1ebd3e?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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Supermarket shut down due to spider that can cause long, painful erections; Thousands of men have been arrested trying to break in
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MrTim
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Did this happen to you, and you wondered "Why?" Most relieved to find out that porch pirates weren't involved
https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-sneak-some-zucchini-into-your-neighbors-porch-day-august-8/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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Bungee jumping over sharks banned in four Atlantic states; Officials worried that it might train the man-eating creatures to leap out of the water for easy snacks
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radioandnascarfan
Junior Executive Joined: 19 Nov 2019 Location: Toledo, OH Status: Offline Points: 2545 |
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I'd rather have a Friday the 13th than a Monday the 13th myself too.
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MrTim
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Today is officially Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day; Experts say any day is a great day to walk your plants, but you should always use a leash so they don't get away
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MrTim
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The blue Twitter bird is now dead, with Elon Musk replacing it with something called 'X'; But, most people will continue going to their favorite XXX sites instead
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