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If Product Slogans Were Honest

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kat View Drop Down
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    Posted: 10 May 2008 at 5:00pm
Playtex Sport Tampons- "Stick them in your uterus and then go do some sports!"
Burger King- "This burger is no better than any other burger out there"


Reminds me of the Family Guy commercial- "Drink it, then convert it to pee!"

Anyway come up with more. I just got up, I'm not that coherent.
madness fills my heart and soul as if the great divide could swallow me whole
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wild Starchild Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 7:18pm
LOL I get it!!
 
Quilted Northern toilet tissue ( I think) Cause Bears really do sh*t in the woods!!
 
Budweiser Beer! It's easier to deal with life if you're drunk.
 
Geico Insurance, because Lizard guts are slippery!!! HEHHEEHEEHEEEE
 
Diaper Genie. sh*t Stinks
 
Dial Soap. Your ass stinks! Wash it.
 
G.E. We could build a longer lasting light bulb, but then you wouldn't buy as many.
 
All Oil Companies!! We're all about to be ran out of business because of alternative fuels, so we're gonna rob the hell out of you while we still can!! (Can I hear ann AMEN??)
 
Tweezee, Are you stupid enough to buy this thing??
 
Liberty Medical, Cause you're too f**king lazy to get off you're ass and go get sh*t yourself!
 
Pet Med Pharmacy, Cause you're too f**king lazy to get off you're ass and go get sh*t yourself!
 
Viagra, Cause all the Whip Quick left the dip stick!!
 
Extenze, Eat our pills and screw whores. The American way.
 
All Car ads, Hey, it beats the hell outta walking!
 
Shoe ads, Some of you can't afford cars.
 
Credit card ads, Get ripped off while satisfying your insatiable passion to buy sh*t you don't need and can't really afford.
 
LOL Commercial Forums LOL, If you don't have one of your oxn, steal ours!!!!
 
More later!!! This is fun.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
AW DAMN!!!! Wild Shot the friggin TV again!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 8 Track Single Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 7:56pm
KFC--We do chicken wrong!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad Slasher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 8:42pm

Everything.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote applepiemommy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 9:10pm
TrimSpa:  You'll be too high to eat, baby!
Weight Watchers:  Diets don't work, and neither does Weight Watchers
McDonalds:  I'm lovin' sh*t!
Nutrisystem: Lose weight and still eat the foods that resemble the ones you like!
What does Dr Traci have to say about it? http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Dr-Traci
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FreecreditReport.com: Won't do anything but give you a headache
YoplaitYogurt: It's good but not THAT good
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tvpirate05 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 9:37pm
Trojan-If We Did Our Job, You Wouldn't Be Here!
The poster formerly known as producer757
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CapitalOne: Give us what's in your wallet!
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Burger King: You won't have it your way
 
KFC: You could get better food out of the trash can
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 9:46pm
JG Wentworth:  "We're so annoying, you'll give us your money just to shut us up!"

Liberty Medical:  "We know you're just watching to see when Wilfred will drop dead."

Boniva: "Hi, I'm Sally Fields, you know what I'd like to do to this one g*ddamn pill?"

McDonalds: "That dollar sure looked better than this sandwich"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hafk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 10:08pm
Apple: "Sheep, come over here!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wild Starchild Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 10:27pm
Cambell's Soup, Our song's are annoying but our slop is loaded with MSG!!!
 
 
AW DAMN!!!! Wild Shot the friggin TV again!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FootballFreak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 10:42pm
Kraft Mac and Cheese: "Mama's in the kitchen, runnin' away, hoping we won't ask her for the chesse. She's got the blues!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Big Momma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 May 2008 at 11:48pm
We're American Airlines and we simply do not care!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Moochamoocha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 12:13am
LOLLOLLOLLOL This is funny!


Always Maxi Pads - "We're created by a bunch of men who don't understand that the concept of a 'happy period' is an oxymoron."

Dr. Pepper - "Liquefied Feces"

Enzyte - "Deluding old men everywhere that this crap will elongate your dong."

Viagra/Levitra/Cialis - "Proof positive that old people still like to get it on." Dead

Verizon - "Can you see us charging you for every thing you do with your phone, even turning it on? Good!"

Sierra Mist - "Carbonated Swamp Water"

KFC - "Krappy Fake Chicken"

NBC - "NoBody Cares or Nothing But Crap"

CBS - "Crappy Bull Sh*t"

MTV - "Moronic Teen Viewers"

Dunkin Donuts - "Who are we kidding? Americans don't run, especially the ones who eat our food."

Starbucks Coffee - "Overpriced beverages that you can make yourself at home for a fraction of the cost but you won't because all the cool people come here and you don't want to be perceived as uncool now, do you?"

Nintendo Wii - "Wii steal your money by convincing you that you've GOT to have this!"

Apple Computers - "Our world takeover plan is working!"

Applebee's/TGI Friday's - "Let's face it, our reheated meals are no better than what you can make yourself."

McDonald's - "Appealing to ghetto folk with our slogans."

Any beer brand - "Singlehandedly giving unattractive people a chance to get laid."

Smuckers Uncrustables - "Because Americans are too damn lazy to slap some peanut butter on bread."

The Olive Garden - "If you were really family, we wouldn't be charging you for our faux Italian food."


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 12:21am
Nutrisystem- "Still be able to eat the foods you want, only the amount of food you're supposed to be eating as a meal would be unacceptable to give a pygmy shrew as an after-dinner snack!"
madness fills my heart and soul as if the great divide could swallow me whole
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 12:25am
Victoria's Secret: "You think we're hot, but we'd rather do each other."

Lexis:  "We make cars that you can't afford."

Target:  "We have no idea what these commercials mean either."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 12:31am
Victoria's Secret - Come to our store, watch fat old ladies buy silky thongs, never come back again.

All Car Commercials- Professional drive on a closed course, as in, don't try this you freaking idiot, our cars can't go underwater asshat.
madness fills my heart and soul as if the great divide could swallow me whole
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 12:31am
McDonalds: We're heavin' it.
 
Enterprise car rental: We'll pick your pockets.
 
Motel 6: We'll leave the bedbugs for you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BadWX Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 1:02am
American Airlines:  We know why you fly, and it will make you pee your pants to find out what we do with that information.
 
National City Bank:  National City Bank is doing more than you know.  'Nuff said.
 
Texaco:  We used to be a good oil company.
 
The Oakland Raiders:  A commitment to mediocrity.
 
Old Navy:  Wouldn't you rather run around naked?
 
Montgomery Ward:  First, we ripped off the name, now we rip off the customers.
 
McDonald's:  15 Billion pairs of ears ruined by our stupid jingle.
 
Coca-Cola:  Things go better with Coke, like LSD
 
Marborolo:  Come to where the flavor is, Come to Marborolo country (and say hi to St. Peter on your way in).
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 1:46am
Taco Bell:  "Enjoy what poor Mexicans have to eat."

Olive Garden:  "I-talian?  Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ryan Ferneau Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 2:35am
Here's one I remember from Robot Chicken.  "Fandango: Why not add a dollar to the price of your movie ticket?"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FootballFreak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 2:42am
IHOP: Come Hungry Leave sick
Myspace: A place for child molestors
Tropicana: We are as close to tropical as you will ever get.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LOL1955 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 6:03am
Funniest.  Thread.  EVER! 
Love endures all.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wild Starchild Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 May 2008 at 7:56am
Dirt Devil, one mean little sucker!!
 
Long John Silver's, Hope the fish you smell isn't our waitresses!!
 
Direct Insurance, Save a lot of money when you BUY Direct, BUT you'll pay out the ass if you ever use us!!
 
Gieco, the cave dudes just ate the damn lizard!! HOORAY!!!!
 
FedEx, when it absolutely, positively has to be delivered to the wrong house, in the middle of a rain storm and left on the porch unattended to get soaked and ruined!!
 
UPS, We wish we were FedEx!!
 
HOOTERS, Eat food, See tits!!
 
Dell Computers, You love us till we malfunction, then you'll buy OUR parts only to fix your PC.
 
Direct TV, for those who hate watching TV on rainy days.
 
 
AW DAMN!!!! Wild Shot the friggin TV again!!!
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