The Worst Commercials of 2017! |
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Triple J
Honor Roll Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 3413 |
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Posted: 01 Jan 2018 at 6:31am |
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Looks like I'm volunteering to start the annual "Worst of the Year" list. Can't say I'll think of this past year fondly. Not only for personal reasons, but because it was yet another year of stupid-as-F commercials. Here's my own alphabetic rundown. Feel free to add your own least-faves of '17. Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy thread. Allstate - Bug-eyed dad griping at his family who's ignoring him while he's driving. Dude, do me a favor and drive off a cliff. Amazon/Google - All this "Alexa, do this" and "OK Google, do that" crap. Alexa, OK Google, can you tell these people in your commercials to SHUT UP?! Arby's - Ving Rhames. AGAIN. AT&T - Ginger jerk quoting random movies. Bai water - Christopher Walken & Justin Timberlake, "Bai Bai Bai" Beat Bugs - Stuffed animals butchering Beatles songs when you squeeze them. There's even a cartoon series. Booking.com - Whiny kindergarten teacher, gotta have her vacay. Hey, bitch, you can always quit. Bud Light - 1) Using songs like "Colors" & "Sweet Child O'Mine" 2) That vendor creep. "Ice cold Buuuuuud Light HERE!" Die, die, DIE! 3) Dilly Dilly. My folks like this one. Why? I don't know. Busch beer - Whispering "Bussssssssssssssssssssssssch" endlessly. Capital One - 1) Weirdo guru in the desert meditating, chanting and stacking stones. 2) Samuel L. Jackson singing. Sam, dude, why? Stop being such an attention whore. Carl's Jr/Hardee's - The whole "Carl Hardee Sr." campaign. Carmax - Dorky Nick Bush, who's really actor Andy Daly. Whoever the hell he is, I want to hit him with one of those cars. Cheerios - "Good goes 'round and around." Probably the most annoying jingle since Mickey-D's "I'm Lovin' It" Chevrolet - For the 3rd straight year, Potsch Boyd and his focus groups. Especially that one chick who goes "wah-wah" like the sad trombone. Coca-Cola - Guy: "Alex, that's my name!" Girl: "Hey, that's my name too!" *facepalm* Dairy Queen - Their whole new "Grill and Chill" campaign, featuring a moron manager and his crew of teen twerps. None of them know how to fry a burger. DirecTV - The ones with Marky-Mark Wahlberg and the masochists who do things like pour hot coffee on themselves. Discover Card - AGAIN, the service reps and their doppelganger customers. Especially the Asian chicks. Domino's Pizza - Jerky Joe Keery from "Stranger Things" ripping off Ferris Bueller. Dos Equis - The most UN-interesting man in the world. Guy can't even speak English. And of course Rob Riggle... Why does this guy keep popping up? Dr. Pepper - 1) Lil' Sweet AGAIN. 2) Concessions guy Larry Culpepper AGAIN. 3) CraveRider, the wacko on the jet-ski. Fruit Gushers - Chick licking a squid. Yes, I really saw this. The Gap - Janelle Monáe and a nightmarish choir caterwauling "You got what I neeeeeed" GEICO - These adholes were on a rampage this year. 1) Nerd in getaway car "Are you Randyyyyyy?" 2) Creepy cowboy "left, right, left, right" 3) Kid playing guitar in the car 4) Badminton fleas 5) Triangle solo 6) Referee at restaurant: "I will have chicken tenders and tater tots!" 7) Randy Jackson judging at the "dawg" show. Honda - Creepy celebrity yearbook photos. The "Are you Randyyyyyy?" guy trolls Steve Carell. Hyundai - That freak singing "Sweet Caroline." Another guy who should drive off a cliff. iPad Pro - with the androgynous brat named "Scout." ... "What's a computer?" iPhone - 1) That fugly shorthaired singer from "The Shacks." 2) "Animoji yourself" - unicorns and poo singing to me ... 21st century entertainment at its finest. 3) The gross-out barber shop. Jeep - "Recalculating ... recalculating ... recalculating ..." KFC Kitchen Fresh Chicken - the continuing carousel of phony Colonel Sanderseseses. Why won't it end? Kia - 1) Niro featuring America's sweetheart Melissa McCarthy 2) Dude on jet-ski going "WOOOOOO" Liberty Mutual - "Is this a lug wrench?" No, that's the sex toy you two were going to use tonight. Liquid-Plumr - People showing their buttcracks. Sickening. Match.com - That flight attendant chick. "Hiiiiii, I'm Courtney, come find meeeeee!" McDonald's - Disgusting old hag: "Millennials, am I right?" Monster.com - "We'll go to the ends of the Earth to find you the right job blah blah blah" Yeah, BULLSH1T! Nationwide - Brad "sh1tkicker hat" Paisley singing with Peyton "marble mouth" Manning. And there's that other singer, Leslie Odom Jr. He needs to shut up too. Nissan - 1) "Lazy horses" in engine make this fat guy dance around. Yeah, I can't really explain this one. 2) The Heisman House. OK, this has run its course. Can we stop this now, please? 3) Star Wars fangirl and dorky dad using something called "ProPILOT Assist" that apparently makes spaceships and giant armored walkers appear out of nowhere. Old Navy - 1) Amy Schumer, AGAIN. 2) The "Jingle Jammies Jam." *shudder* Progressive - 1) The now infamous talking box, still long overdue for a toss into the wood chipper. 2) "Robot Chicken" sketch 3) People turning into their parents 4) All the ones with Jamie. Die, Jamie. Die. Propel - ♫ Get uglyyyyyy! ♫ Raisin Bran Crunch - Dad and daughter going fishing while Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" is playing. Um, whut? Snickers - That stupid Super Bowl ad with Adam Driver. Seriously, what the hell WAS that? Sprint - All the ones with our old nemesis, Paul Marcarelli. State Farm - with Aaron Rodgers & Clay Matthews. I like the Packers, but these two need to cut the crap, OK? TGI Fridays - "Endless apps just got endlesser" ... God, I wish people other than cartoon characters would stop talking like this. Toyota - 1) All the ones with JAN. 2) The Cinderella & Rapunzel knock-offs. Twix - Left Twix and Right Twix being sold individually. This is just devious. I'm sure they charge full price for one half of their candy now. Verizon - All the ones with Thomas Missleswitch ... no, sorry, Swizzlestitch ... no, no ... Middleditch ... whatever. Vitamin Water - Aaron Paul on a treadmill. Nuff said. Walmart - This irritating trend of theirs, using songs from their own 5-dollar CD bin for all their ads. Wonderful Pistachios - John Cena as the voice of an animated elephant. Some things I just can't explain. *whew* ... If you're still reading, thank you, and congratulations for surviving another onslaught of evil advertising. Happy new year, all! |
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Online Points: 63906 |
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Are these off the top of your head? That's pretty good. I don't think I could name even two.
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Triple J
Honor Roll Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 3413 |
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No, I keep a yearly running list on my PC. Usually the list is really long, and I edit it at the end of the year and insert snarky comments.
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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Impressive list. I jot down commercials to post later in the day.
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atikovi
Junior Executive Joined: 12 Dec 2013 Location: DC Status: Offline Points: 616 |
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Nice effort, but Geez, no links to the ads?
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Triple J
Honor Roll Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 3413 |
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Obviously not. Sorry. Which ones do you want?
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atikovi
Junior Executive Joined: 12 Dec 2013 Location: DC Status: Offline Points: 616 |
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All of them.
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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I can remember nearly every commercial he posted about...no need for the links.
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usmaak
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Dec 2014 Location: CO Status: Offline Points: 1571 |
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Ha! Don't be sorry. Coming up with this list is enough work. We're capable of looking up anything that we don't remember. Nice list!
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Triple J
Honor Roll Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 3413 |
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If you don't know some of these, don't worry about it. You don't need to see them, trust me on that. Don't waste your time.
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usmaak
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Dec 2014 Location: CO Status: Offline Points: 1571 |
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I remember many of these, but my most painful memories are from the holiday season just passed. These are my most hated from that time.
Dumbass wearing a Raiders shirt to a KC dinner. Words can't describe how much I hated this, and it was on every 10 minutes. Actually, I've pretty much hated all of the football is family commercials. As I've said, anyone who lets a dumb sport get in the way of their family is a moron. Most people look forward to the superbowl for the game. I look forward to it for the end of the football is everywhere super saturation that goes on during the season. Pretty much hate all sports themed commercials. The huge number of commercials, particularly car commercials, taking advantage of the hype surrounding the release of Star Wars Last Jedi. Walmart Christmas commercials and all of their dumb rap/screaming music while everyone is acting like whatever they got is the best thing to ever happen to them. I remember being a kid. Two weeks from now, all of those toys and things will be sitting in a pile of unused garbage. Honda Holiday Roooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaadddddd. Unlike many here, I don't instantly hate the song. Well, I didn't. Now, though... Well now I've changed my mind. These were on often enough that I know the lyrics to the commercials better than the lyrics to the actual song and for that, Honda can suck a dick. Apple iPhone X commercials, particularly any having to do with that horrific animoji garbage and the people overacting while singing to show how the animated pile of sh*t can bob its head in rhythm. I've seen the iPhone X and even gotten to play with it a bit and it's not a bad phone. But these over the top commercials hyping a completely useless and moronic feature are too much to handle. It shows the target audience. McDonalds ads. All of them. In particular, the ones where two people are trying to choose from the menuboard while some dumb sports announcer blabs in the background about the McPick2. As mentioned above, I hate sports themed ads. Atom Tickets and the doctor who drops his cell phone in some guy's chest cavity while performing surgery. Ever time I see that, I have to ask what the fk I just saw. Quirky, yea. Funny, most decidedly not. It might have been clever-ish the first time, but 200 times later, please just take this POS off the air. Amazon Give a Little Bit singing boxes. If Amazon offered a flame thrower, I'd buy it and take all of these boxes out in one glorious ball of flame. Old Navy Jingle Jammies. I can't overstate how much I hated this commercial. Fortunately I only had to see it a few times. Even if these singers were all mega talented, the mishmash of different songs with many of the singers overreaching their range was terrible to hear. I hope that they don't recycle this sh*t pile next year. Farmers Only Dot Com. All of them, but in particular the talking horses. Why talking horses? Ok, I get it... Horses = Farms. But still, this was just a pile of nonsensical garbage. Even more so than their regular pile of crap. iPad, what's a computer, with everyone's favorite precocious little scamp, Scout. Junior hipster in the making, our little Scout goes around taking pictures of things, meets up in an alley with other junior hipsters, orders tacos from some shop, and caps the entire thing off with the now famous line, "What's a computer". Scout seems brilliant for a junior hipster of the yet to be officially named generation, but she doesn't know what a computer is. Probably one of the most unrealistic aspects of this commercial is that she didn't touch her cell phone once. But hey, she has an iPad so what's a cell phone. Drop the mic. Particularly all of the Verizon ones that that dumbass windbag of a spokesman and the animated flo commercial from somewhere in the middle of the past year. But not just those, the whole theme. The continued use of Peyton Manning for Nationwide. I thought/hoped that once he retired, he'd sort of disappear from commercials as well. Nope, though I do feel fortunately that we don't have to listen to him slurping up a good ole chicken parm sandwich anymore. Aaron Rodgers for State Farm. Aaron Rodgers setting his house on fire. Aaron Rodgers hitting a golf ball through his front window. Aaron Rodgers and his dog and pickup truck. Aaron Rodgers is the new Peyton Manning. Well, he would be if Peyton Manning would ever actually go away. Discover card I got mahh monaaaayyyyyy. What the absolute fk? Seriously, I have seen all of the many Discover Card we treat you like you treat you commercials 10000 times since that inane ad campaign came out and this is by FAR the worst that they've come out with. I'd rather watch the screaming goats 100 times in a row than ever see this piece of crap again. Hanes smelfie, and all other commercials inventing their own words. I know that these invented words are supposed to be clever and perhaps they are to some, but I'm not one of those people. If the autocorrect on my computer puts little red squiggles under a word, it's not a word. Fk you, Hanes. Your subpar made in China clothing doesn't last long anyway. Dilly Dilly! Add this one to the commercials inventing their own words. The only problem here is that I've actually heard people using the phrase "dilly dilly" in real life and they usually laugh at themselves after saying it because it's soooo clever. I usually laugh along with them, but it's out of embarrassment for them using the phrase dilly dilly. Like a boss. Anything that used the phrase "like a boss". Fortunately this crap seems to be on its way out. University of Phoenix and the awful rendition of If I Only had a Brain. All of the people working hard while studying. Though I'm sure that this happens, it'd probably be more realistic if they showed University of Phoenix graduates walking around with their diplomas, wondering why they still can't get a job. And of course, no year of commercial hatred is complete without mentioning the Chevy Real People ads. Without exception, I've despised every single one of these ads. I hope that Chevy finally realizes that literally nobody likes these steaming piles starring everyone's most hated spokestool Potch Boyd and his huge pile of screamy, vapid, dumbass "real people". Of course on the upside, these ads gave us Mahk and all of his hysterical youtube videos making fun of Chevy. If I'm having a bad day, I only have to watch a couple of his videos to make my day better. Go Mahk! That's all I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure that there are others that I've managed to forget, and I should probably be thankful for that. And as always, I'm glad that this site exists, so that I can share my hatred of commercials everywhere.
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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If you want to see any of the commercials, why not just try GOOGLE Youtube <commercial.description>...believe me, they're awfully easy to find and you end up with the personal satisfaction of knowing you are now more computer-literate, thanks to your friends on CIH (for free!)
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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Since 2018 is an even-numbered year which means we are about to get SLAMMED with the worst commercials of them all, Political commercials.
THANK HEAVEN FOR HOME VIDEO!!! (That's VHS, DVD and Blu-Ray for those of you in Rio Linda! ).
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Poiuyt Power!!!
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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The 'Trip Advisor Hoot'. It actually twists my stomach and causes a touch of anxiety within me, no matter in Brenglish ot Brispanish... I really really really really didn't like 'retailmenot' trying to convince me that Johnny Cash was still alive...it bugs me every time I hear this one.
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Anduril
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Sep 2014 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 2144 |
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For me, the WORST commercial is the GEICO ad that comes on every night just before the Final Jeopardy round.
They make the ad look just like Jeopardy (same font, white text on blue background - the same color blue as used in the game). GEICO obviously knows that lots of people DVR their shows and they're just trying to trick you into watching their ads. You fast-forward through the commercials - and Ah Ha!! They got you! You thought you were at the Final Jeopardy round, but NO, it's another f**king GEICO commercial! To me, it's just more of the same constant needling that GEICO engages in to ruin your life and enjoyment of your favorite TV shows. Somehow, they believe that endears them to their customers. GEICO, it doesn't. Please stop! It's just one more in a LONG list of reasons I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER buy insurance from the lizard people. |
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Banderboy
Junior Executive Joined: 16 May 2009 Location: Lincoln, Ne Status: Offline Points: 608 |
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There's no reason to cast super models in Little Ceasars commercials, but this is going too far the other way.
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Every day my mind grows keener- my good arm stronger--- my silly enemies more futile---
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crainbebo
Junior Executive Joined: 10 Nov 2013 Location: Yakima, WA Status: Offline Points: 3155 |
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I can't come up with a top 10 this year. There were too many god-awful, mute-worthy commercials. I'll just go off the top of my head. No particular order.
Honey Nut Cheerios - 'Good Goes Round.' They had the nerve to make not only a 30-sec version but a 60-sec version. Hey, take that 'seed to the oats to the oats to the blah blah blah' bulls---t and shove it up your a$$. INSTANTLY muted it everytime! Spectrum - Again, Spectrum makes the list for awful commercials. I hope that woman's cable goes out 'in the rain in the middle of my show.' What a stupid idiot! Satellite is so much better than Charter. $179/month bills be gone! But in good news, they didn't come up with a single rap or stupid jingle all year long. I'll give them credit for that. None of that beatboxing farting crap we all saw in 2016, or that horrible rap that made me want to call Dish Network the next time I saw it. Walmart - Several ads for ruining classic songs to use them in their commercials. Idiotic trend. Then they had the nerve to use 'All I Do is Win' in one of their ads. McDonald's - 'There's a Mac for That.' AWFUL rapping music. I couldn't make it 3 or 4 seconds without muting it out. And 'Lemme get a McPick Two!' again. Chevrolet - when will they get rid of that stupid Potsch Boyd? Every focus group commercial this year, I muted as fast as I could. I don't want to hear their stupid trendy words for the cars or their reactions. Put their phones in that wood chipper please! Liberty Mutual - Lug wrench. Enough said. Also Brad, 'three-quarters of a car,' 'where's your brother? Where's your brother?!' It's 2018. Come on already. Brad is long-past the sell-by date. I just saw that stupid girl an hour ago! Haribo - Guys in the boardroom sounding like little kids. Dumb as heck. Toyota - Jan singing Christmas music made me want to throw a rock at my TV!! 2nd worst Christmas ad of the year by far! She too is way past the sell-by date. New ad campaign please. KFC - The worst Christmas ad? Colonial Sanders' 12 Days of Chicken. Find it and watch it if you dare. Also that terrible 'real meal for 5 bucks, real meal for 5 bucks,' shut the f--k up already! Colonial Harland Sanders is rolling in his grave. Kit Kat - LIBRARY BREAK!! I hope they never recycle that one again and that 'shushing librarian' stereotype. Chance the Wrapper was just as bad. This new rap one is even worse! I can tolerate the oddball '80s New Wave ad. Booking.com - Those kindergarteners making a mess and destroying the teacher's classroom. Too bad it isn't the 1960s anymore because every single one of those kids would be whacked with a ruler and then some for what they were doing. Parents who don't care about their children's behavior and let them run wild! I will take the Trivago Guy 100x over this! Geico - for being the king of horrible commercials. Randy Jackson and a dog; Boyz II Men, the triangle solo, you name it. How does CEO Tony Nicely feel about his company airing the most god-awful commercials on television? They'll do it again in '18, and '19, and '20... Old Navy - the lunchroom dance riot. Too bad an aide or teacher didn't walk in there, arms crossed, yelling at all those kids to sit down and eat! They were dancing on top of the tables! Who knows where their expensive Nike's have been through...disgusting. Progressive - no words needed. Toss the box into the wood chipper, fire Flo, throw Jamie out and come up with SOMETHING. NEW. THAT. ISN'T. ANNOYING. Like what they had pre-2008, a man telling you about Progressive's rates and how they compare to other car insurance companies, then giving you the website and 800 number to call. Interestingly enough, I find the DirecTV ads kind of amusing. I've felt like banging my head with Charter's high bills...seriously. And we've all gotten paper cuts before.
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Back after a long absence...still hating those commercials. Go away Limu Emu and Doug!
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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Anduril
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Sep 2014 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 2144 |
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And now Liberty Mutual is pissed because someone stole their three-quarters of a car idea!
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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The sad thing is all their answers are common knowledge unless you've been living under a rock for the last 19-20 years. I HATE that! I wish I knew next to nothing about GEICO! But thanks to the bombardment of those TV ads I know pretty much everything about them. I miss Aleve's sponsorship, they weren't dumb and annoying. |
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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Mine? Toyota with that bippity boppity boo with that punk lesbian cinderella and her frizzy hair! Anything Old/gay/yo Navy. The list objectioniable were the Amy Schumer ones. CHEERIOS GOOD GOES ROUND AND ROUND too ghetto. FROM early 2017 Xfinity Everyday Awesome with that Vampire Weekend Sh°t. The current Verizon adds with that nerdy mincing limp wristed porcupine punk.
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I approve this message.
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Katieanna
Newbie Joined: 04 Jan 2018 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1 |
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I agree with all of yours except Lil' Sweet, I love him! I'll put my personal "favorites" a lot of which will be repeats:-)
Like most of y'all, the stupid, ridiculous, Chevy "real people" ones...dumb asses. Match.com and Courtney who apparently wants to be kidnapped. Liberty EFFING Mutual, especially the one shot the car named "Brad". I wasn't to punch the dimples off her smug little face. Every single prescription medication commercial. Especially Humira. Education Connection. I'm surprised I haven't seen more people put these! They are gems, let me tell you. SNHU. Annoying and seriously, enough with the hipster music. (While on the topic of annoying hipster music, STOP using it! It all sounds the same and makes a bad commercial ten times worse.) The commercial for a Listerine I think where they poise the oh so CRAZY question, "you wouldn't only wash half your head, would you??" The toothpaste commercial where the girl with the giant mouth is crammed on a subway next to a guy...Thank goodness she brushed her teeth! Now if she could just pull her hair out of her turtleneck and close her mouth... I haven't seen this one in awhile (thank goodness) but it's for Dove and there are of course, "real people" and they show them what happens when you either wash or dry A freaking ROSE with Dove on it or something, and then with something else (like evil soap)...you could wash and dry a flower and its delicate flower petals with freaking unicorn farts and angel kisses it would still be annihilated afterwards...stupid Dove. I can't think of anything else right now and I have to go to the ladies room so when I think of more, which I will, I'll add them :-) |
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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Welcome, and you are going to fit right in around here. The Colgate girl? Nevermind my choice of words for the title, I live on the edge and my wife drives one. Click on the blue button to see the whole thread. Topic: Colgate- random sex partner |
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Triple J
Honor Roll Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 3413 |
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Good God. I don't know how I managed to avoid that one. I might have seen the tail end of it a few times. Can't remember. No doubt I would've selected it.
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usmaak
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Dec 2014 Location: CO Status: Offline Points: 1571 |
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