To the tiny woman in the Cadillac Escalade

To the tiny woman in the Cadillac Escalade who nearly ran me onto the shoulder this morning.



Excuse me. This is a merging lane and I'm attempting to merge onto the freeway now. It's clearly my turn. I'm not sure why you keep scooting up. Where do you expect me to go? It's supposed to be like a zipper, lady. One car from your lane, then one car from mine. We merge and then we go about our business. Zzzz-zip. Hey, what are you doing? Please stop inching forward. Hey. Hey. Okay, please listen to my horn now for the next fifteen seconds. You like that? I'd like to now direct your attention to my hoisted middle finger. Yes, that's right, apply your brakes now. Oh, you can see me now! I understand. You forget to look down here sometimes. And now I can see you. Hair-do, knuckles and steering wheel. Nice death machine you have there. How many people are in there with you? None? Really? What the f**k are you driving that thing for? You don't even know how to control it. You can't see a car right next to you. You are a danger to yourself and everyone on the road. Why are you driving that outrageous monstrosity? You look like a tiny white termite in a gorilla's nostril. Now you must know what your own tiny brain feels like rattling around inside your head. What are you, hauling construction beams in that thing? What do you need it for? Wait, I know. It's to feed your idiot greed and lust for stupid expensive sh*t. Well, we're all very impressed here on the 101 Freeway. Oh, I can't see you in my rearview mirror anymore. You're a little speck back there. Gosh, you drive so slowly when traffic is moving, I wonder why you were in such a hurry when the traffic was stopped? Maybe you're on the phone now and can't be bothered to step on the gas. If only the people behind you could see the 50 feet of empty road in front of you. I bet they'd like to be driving on it. Well, this has been fun. I'll leave you behind for now. See you tomorrow!

You know, I have 5 kids. There are 7 of us in our family. My neighbor has one of these huge assed vehicles, and I don't see it being anymore comfortable than our minivan. I need a bus myself, but damned if I intend to pay the f**king GAS!!!!!!! Maybe if these f**kers would cut down a little on these gas guzzling behemoths we could have some lower gas prices.

I agree! It works at amusement parks.

Don't worry, Nathan - eventually she'll realize that she can't make it in LA and she'll move to Colorado like many other Californians do... where she'll fit in and talk about how much easier life is here... and then get herself and several others killed on the ice when winter comes because she'll slam on her brakes and lose control and roll because her giant car is top heavy and she won't know to handle it safely anyway.

Whew! *Takes a breath!

Originally posted by echoroc I incited a female SUV driver to rage during a traffic backup on the highway, which resulted in her rear-ending the Saab in front of her.  I couldn't stop laughing for hours.

Wow.  You caused an accident, and you're bragging about it?  Nice going.

It is simply amazing how stupid peope get when given the opportunity to drive in snow and ice - especially if their car is larger than yours. During this time of the year, all one need do is look to the side of the road. You'd think you were in a parking lot at a flea market; lots of big stuff parked; everything scratched and dented...

(Yea! MY turn...)

Right as I was passing by and getting ready to say something, I realized nothing need be said - I just watched...and laughed my ass off!

She leaned into the rear of the car when the hatch hit the top, knocked snow through the opening between the roof and hatch door onto her, while she was bent over, feet off the ground, stomach down rear hanging out of the the car...the hatch then came down full-force and slapped her in the butt, leaving legs a'wiggling...

 

 

Originally posted by PaWolf (Yea! MY turn...)   There happens to be some 'Mindless Moneybags' down the street from us. 'Trophy Wife' (about 5'4", 100 lbs.) has a brand-spanking new Caddy "Escapade" (Escalade); beige & gold, top-of-the-line. She has 'owned the road' since she got it - and she'll run ANYONE over (including running me off the road when I'm 'snow & ice biking'). I simply love the old saying, "what goes around comes around". She ALMOST ran me off the road, in her snow-covered P.O.S., yesterday...pulled into her driveway, jumped out, ran to the back and popped the rear hatch. Remember - I said it was snow-covered...lots of snow. Right as I was passing by and getting ready to say something, I realized nothing need be said - I just watched...and laughed my ass off! She leaned into the rear of the car when the hatch hit the top, knocked snow through the opening between the roof and hatch door onto her, while she was bent over, feet off the ground, stomach down rear hanging out of the the car...the hatch then came down full-force and slapped her in the butt, leaving legs a'wiggling... I was SO happy, I almost cried!  Yea - she saw me barely able to stand, while holding my bike and pointing at her...

Why are you riding a bike in the middle of winter in the snow capital of the continental USA?

Isn't it cold?

 In layers...... "layers" are the key.

Originally posted by Craftychiq Yep Thor, they can...

I was able to swerve to the shoulder and avoid hitting the car in front of me, but it pissed me off.  Don't these guys in big trucks realize that other drivers can see neither through them nor beyond them?  .....................