Please help the CIH Forums by disabling AdBlock Plus on this page.
Forum Home Forum Home :: Miscellaneous :: Off-Topic
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Anything funny.
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Anything funny.

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 4647484950 88>
Author
Message
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 May 2018 at 5:51pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Bad boys, bad boys

Wha'cha gonna do?

Wha'cha gonna do?

Wha'cha gonna do when they cum for you?


LOLLOL

No you din't!


Back to Top
Sponsored Links



Back to Top
DarkRealmStar View Drop Down
Junior Executive
Junior Executive
Avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Location: Undisclosed
Status: Offline
Points: 3181
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DarkRealmStar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 May 2018 at 7:06am
You guys are cracking me up.  LOL  LOL
Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jun 2018 at 2:59pm
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jun 2018 at 3:55pm
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jul 2018 at 10:51pm
This headline had to have been phrased like this on purpose...

Did Something Massive Smash Into Uranus? (link)



...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
PaWolf View Drop Down
Revolutionary
Revolutionary
Avatar
Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know....

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Location: GreatWhiteNorth
Status: Offline
Points: 40769
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jul 2018 at 9:02pm
X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2018 at 7:22pm
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Monday Night football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.

Can you help me please?

Thanks,

Joe

——————————————————–

Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Jewelry 2.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Sep 2018 at 4:08am
This is pretty funny...


...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
PaWolf View Drop Down
Revolutionary
Revolutionary
Avatar
Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know....

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Location: GreatWhiteNorth
Status: Offline
Points: 40769
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Sep 2018 at 4:46am
Wink...someone else I ran into some time back - and will next week as I was just informed he is coming to play at a local beer joint...
X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2018 at 8:11pm

Packers Fans Parody the Proper Way to Tackle After Clay Matthews Says NFL 'Going Soft'


https://www.complex.com/sports/2018/09/packers-fans-parody-tackle-clay-mathews-says-nfl-going-soft
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2018 at 9:08pm
Brett Kavanaugh strikes again!!!!!!

Quote Sex assault eyed after turtle is discovered in woman’s vagina (link)

The British expat who had a dead baby turtle inside her vagina may have been a victim of a sexual assault, police said.

The 26-year-old woman, who lives on Tenerife in the Canary Islands, had no idea a Chinese three-keeled pond turtle was lodged inside her when she showed up at El Mojon hospital in Arona complaining of abdominal pain, Spanish outlet El PaÍs reported.

When doctors discovered the dead pet turtle — which caused a “serious infection” in her genitals — they called police last Saturday afternoon, fearing she had been abused, ABC reported.

The unnamed woman told local police she was out partying with a group of British pals Thursday night in the area of Fañabé beach a few days earlier, but doesn’t remember what happened that night, according to El Pais.

She then started feeling sick over the next few days before going to the hospital.

The woman insisted she did not want authorities to pursue the strange incident further, and police have halted their investigation pending new information.

“We are not actively investigating this matter because the woman declined to give a statement,” a police source told The Sun.

Though initial reports said the reptile was a tortoise, researchers confirmed is was a freshwater Chinese pond turtle, which are sold worldwide in pet stores and can reach up to 12 inches in length, El Pais reported.

Researchers at first believed the creature was a loggerhead sea turtle because they are indigenous to the Canary Islands archipelago.












...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
DarkRealmStar View Drop Down
Junior Executive
Junior Executive
Avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Location: Undisclosed
Status: Offline
Points: 3181
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DarkRealmStar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2018 at 9:25pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Brett Kavanaugh strikes again!!!!!!

Quote Sex assault eyed after turtle is discovered in woman’s vagina (link)

The British expat who had a dead baby turtle inside her vagina may have been a victim of a sexual assault, police said.

The 26-year-old woman, who lives on Tenerife in the Canary Islands, had no idea a Chinese three-keeled pond turtle was lodged inside her when she showed up at El Mojon hospital in Arona complaining of abdominal pain, Spanish outlet El PaÍs reported.

When doctors discovered the dead pet turtle — which caused a “serious infection” in her genitals — they called police last Saturday afternoon, fearing she had been abused, ABC reported.

The unnamed woman told local police she was out partying with a group of British pals Thursday night in the area of Fañabé beach a few days earlier, but doesn’t remember what happened that night, according to El Pais.

She then started feeling sick over the next few days before going to the hospital.

The woman insisted she did not want authorities to pursue the strange incident further, and police have halted their investigation pending new information.

“We are not actively investigating this matter because the woman declined to give a statement,” a police source told The Sun.

Though initial reports said the reptile was a tortoise, researchers confirmed is was a freshwater Chinese pond turtle, which are sold worldwide in pet stores and can reach up to 12 inches in length, El Pais reported.

Researchers at first believed the creature was a loggerhead sea turtle because they are indigenous to the Canary Islands archipelago.
Jesus, what are you smokin over there in Fla.?  Do you really think Brett Kavanaugh has anything to do with this story, or anything like it?  You are like a dog with a bone, drooling over the latest anti-Trump tidbit.











Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2018 at 10:20pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Brett Kavanaugh strikes again!!!!!!

Quote Sex assault eyed after turtle is discovered in woman’s vagina (link)

The British expat who had a dead baby turtle inside her vagina may have been a victim of a sexual assault, police said.

The 26-year-old woman, who lives on Tenerife in the Canary Islands, had no idea a Chinese three-keeled pond turtle was lodged inside her when she showed up at El Mojon hospital in Arona complaining of abdominal pain, Spanish outlet El PaÍs reported.

When doctors discovered the dead pet turtle — which caused a “serious infection” in her genitals — they called police last Saturday afternoon, fearing she had been abused, ABC reported.

The unnamed woman told local police she was out partying with a group of British pals Thursday night in the area of Fañabé beach a few days earlier, but doesn’t remember what happened that night, according to El Pais.

She then started feeling sick over the next few days before going to the hospital.

The woman insisted she did not want authorities to pursue the strange incident further, and police have halted their investigation pending new information.

“We are not actively investigating this matter because the woman declined to give a statement,” a police source told The Sun.

Though initial reports said the reptile was a tortoise, researchers confirmed is was a freshwater Chinese pond turtle, which are sold worldwide in pet stores and can reach up to 12 inches in length, El Pais reported.

Researchers at first believed the creature was a loggerhead sea turtle because they are indigenous to the Canary Islands archipelago.












LOLLOL
I think she got MITCHED!!  Tongue

Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2018 at 10:33pm
Originally posted by DarkRealmStar DarkRealmStar wrote:

Jesus, what are you smokin over there in Fla.?  Do you really think Brett Kavanaugh has anything to do with this story, or anything like it?  You are like a dog with a bone, drooling over the latest anti-Trump tidbit.


Sadly, I'm not smoking anything although I wish I was.

Not just for my own pleasure, but so that I could offer some of it to you, as it sounds like you could use something to possibly help restore your long lost sense of humor

...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2018 at 10:38pm
Originally posted by aka ron aka ron wrote:

LOLLOL

I think she got MITCHED!! Tongue



Getting Mitched is a bitch!!!!
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
PaWolf View Drop Down
Revolutionary
Revolutionary
Avatar
Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know....

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Location: GreatWhiteNorth
Status: Offline
Points: 40769
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Sep 2018 at 10:58pm
Confused...uhhhh.....seems reporting on the breed of turtle seemed much more important than the woman. This makes one wonder:
  • What sex was the turtle?
  • Does anyone recall if the turtle just said "NO"?
  • Who will pay the pet store for turtle, whatever breed it is?
  • Who will pay for the woman's hospital bill?
  • Who will pay for the turtle's funeral?
  • Can the woman be charged with 'bestiality' and 'murder', given we are dealing with a sea creature (well, maybe - it hasn't been decided if we're dealing with a tortoise or a turtle)?
  • If convicted, how much time could she be facing and will infection have cleared up before her next date (Heyyyyyyyyyyy....is she cute and what's her availability?)
  • Think she is partial to turtles, or if I don't have any turtles, think she'll settle for my brand of crabs?
X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Sep 2018 at 7:44am
Back to Top
bmasters9 View Drop Down
Junior Executive
Junior Executive


Joined: 26 Feb 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 245
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bmasters9 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Oct 2018 at 10:52am

Hilarious Family Guy parody of the famous end-title scene of the 60s ABC Jetsons, where George gets stuck on the treadmill, and he yells, "Jane, stop this crazy thing!!!"
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Oct 2018 at 2:07pm
I love those crossover cartoon parodies.
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Oct 2018 at 3:34pm
Back to Top
Jimbo View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 56959
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Oct 2018 at 6:34pm
^^^

Looks like he forgot to dab off with a Kleenex after he finished "whacking his carrot".


...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Oct 2018 at 6:58pm
LOL
I thought you might like that!

Facebook sucks, but I have some friends on there that hate Trump as much as we do.  Wink

Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Oct 2018 at 4:57pm
Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Oct 2018 at 5:26pm
Back to Top
aka ron View Drop Down
Honor Roll
Honor Roll
Avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2009
Location: WI
Status: Offline
Points: 33539
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Oct 2018 at 5:31pm
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 4647484950 88>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 11.04
Copyright ©2001-2015 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.203 seconds.