Do You Poop Enough? |
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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Posted: 05 Jul 2013 at 11:02pm |
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...I....I...I dunno - but I'll try one more time as I sit in my office chair....
Do you POOP enough?Are you eating this ”healthy” food that HARMS your digestion |
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Online Points: 56960 |
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Thst's one of those stupid, annoying, bullsh*t internet ads that keeps promising you & promising you that they're gonna explain something, or tell you some relevant information shortly, while they just keep dancing around, dropping little hints to keep you hooked until you finally find out if you want to find out their big miracle whatever it is, you have to pay for it.
I give that crap about 30 seconds before I click on the X. And btw, I poop quite frequently. Usually a good two or three times a day. Sometimes more, especially if I drink milk. |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.
I don't allow myself more than one crap a day. I crap and then I take a shower. If I have to crap again later on---sorry, it's gonna have to wait until the morning. I keep my bowels disciplined and regular. None of this free-for-all, "when the spirit moves me" stuff. I'm no hippie.
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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Having read that, I'd suggest you might be F.O.S. If poop is on its way, no reason to let it play 'panty prairie dog' - "if it's a'pokin' its head, it's better left for dead!" ('pawism' #7).
Yup! That's what *I* always told our younguns!
"sh*t your britches, get your stitches!..." (pawism #8). I'd tell the lil'spermmistakes, "because, if you do, you're going to wear those pants until your mother gets home...".
No Thor - don't be a sh*thead - the toilet will love you for feeding it, and, well...so will everyone around you. Love it, use it freely and as often as you need.
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Online Points: 56960 |
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That's not good for you.
And what if you reeeaaallly had to sh*t & you've already sh*t once that day? Would you just walk around suffering all day, squeezing & grunting & doubling over in pain? And forget about sleeping!!! How do you keep from sh*tting the bed?????? |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Online Points: 56960 |
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I think he was just sh*ttin us, Pa. Sounds like something he heard or read somewhere. |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Snesgamer
Junior Executive Joined: 16 Oct 2008 Location: Aptos, CA Status: Offline Points: 3166 |
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The last post I remember from Donathan was about how Florida resembled a... no - actually, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say a topic titled "Do you poop enough?" would be among his tamer ones. |
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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Nope. Not kidding at all. I'll admit that there have been a few exceptions over the years (and more than a few when I was sick in 2005), but I'll bet none in the past few years. Most of it is that, once I take my perfect (#3 or #4 on the Bristol Scale) daily crap, I'm done. I don't need to go again until the next day. Also, when I go to take a dump, I sit down and in seconds, it's out. It's quicker than taking a leak. No reading material in my bathroom.
Maybe you're just jealous of my regularity and perfectly-formed bowel movements. Everyone is.
Bristol Scale:
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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Ohhh, aren't YOU 'special',"Mr. Big Man on The Bristol Scale"!
Who isn't a 'perfect 3 or 4'?! That scale is full of crap - you sound like one of those 'crapophobes' that are afraid to drop a loaf away from home and an immediate shower (and, well...I really don't know anyone who really enjoys that, unless nature is screaming in their (r)ear). Better carry your own toilet with you if you ever take a trip outside the United States. Don't forget the washcloths and the bar of Lava Soap.
"Life is serene when the butt is kept clean, pristine and unseen"
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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^ I know people who use baby wipes instead of toilet paper. They swear by it.
Really, my motivation in taking a shower afterwards is to be able to rid myself of the errant anal remnant that gets stuck in the gate and bothers me all day.
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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Me too - and I feel pretty good about it.
I'll ready go two rounds in the morning - one before morning ride, with first cup of coffee - but, once home and with that second cup! "Thar she blows!"
And, well - if possible, that before-bedtime 'squeeze in the breeze' is an event that really can please! Talk about a 'good night's sleep'! Indeed
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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verminstew
Junior Executive Joined: 21 May 2008 Location: Charm City, MD Status: Offline Points: 922 |
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Panty prairie dog, LOL! We always referred to it as turtle head.
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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All this chatter about poop suddenly got to me, doncha know.
All at once, it was time for "Bowling at Bedtime!" - I feel SO light on my feet right now!
Pretty sure I flushed a perfect '300', but I know we ran out of toilet paper.
I'm tired and ready for nappies, so I'll wait until MissyDWolf notices.
I tried to find something in a hurry for her, so I left these on the sink - think they'll do?
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Online Points: 56960 |
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I'm gonna let you all in on a little "secret"... I call this the "Poor Man's Bidet". Works great. Rinses your butthole nice & clean & reduces the amount of toilet paper you need to use. Leaves you feeling like you just took a shower after a dump. I'm talking about one of these... Just a few bucks at any drug store or Walmart. And no, you don't "insert" anything anywhere. Just fill it up with water, reach around behind you, point it in the "general direction" & give it a good hard squeeze. You'll know if the water is "hitting the spot". Refill & repeat about 4 - 6 times. Maybe a couple more if it's a "sticky" one. Keep an old bowl near the lavatory & get used to filling it up with water before you sit. I can reach my lavatory from the throne because they're right next to each other, so it's right there. I've been doing this for a few years now & I'd never go back to dry. This really cleans you off. Usually, there's nothing on the toilet paper but water. I give it two thumbs up!!! |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Tiz
Revolutionary I donated! Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Virginia Status: Offline Points: 15588 |
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*I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.* I thought this was gonna be another Pa "Poll". 1: How much is enough Pa? 2: Is that per day Pa? 3:Does having to double flush mean too much, Pa? |
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Papa Lazarou
Ad Exec Formerly Codtaro Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Location: New Mexico Status: Offline Points: 7710 |
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Maybe Pa enjoys some double impact in the bathroom?
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Banana!
BANANA!! BANANA!!! BANANA!! Banana! |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Online Points: 56960 |
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I've often felt that maybe Pa was in need of a good "pipe cleaning".
Or "drain snaking" if you will. |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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Answers:
1.) Are you checking me out?!
2,) 'Dawn'-'Daytime'-'Dusk'-'Night' - and then each time period can be sectioned....
3.) A 'Double Flush' is a 'Real Man's Flush' - never do ANYTHING half-way! No such thing as 'half-full of sh*t', so sit down and sh*t like you mean it (or put that dress on, soldier!).
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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No No NEVER! (again)
(Long ago and far away in a land near Paula Deen)
Left a hospital after outpatient surgery before 'peeing in the cup', once.
Had to go to the ER about midnight when it became a choice of pee-or-explode, and I couldn't pee.
An old 'Nazi Nurse' greased up the ol'cath (or maybe it was a McDonald's 'Shake Straw)' and insterted without prejudice.
"You're lucky! No infection!"
I had NO idea one could hold as much pee as I did.
Never again.
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Online Points: 56960 |
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I was talking about the other side, Pa....
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Papa Lazarou
Ad Exec Formerly Codtaro Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Location: New Mexico Status: Offline Points: 7710 |
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Banana!
BANANA!! BANANA!!! BANANA!! Banana! |
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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