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700 club Jesus is missing

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote verminstew Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: 700 club Jesus is missing
    Posted: 15 Jun 2013 at 12:59am
Zig Zag rolling paper man, LOL!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2013 at 12:55am
Originally posted by sgtrock21 sgtrock21 wrote:



No luck on YouTube. This is a recent commercial where the spokesperson states that "the only thing missing is Jesus". Why is there not an amber alert? Why is the latest photo of Jesus not on milk cartons? Just kidding. I think Jesus has been missing since the empty tomb and the ascenction! Over 2,000 years ago. 

Jesus has been found at the Phoenix airport'
http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/384466/3/Air-travelers-find-Jesus---on-airport-security-floor-
EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DirtyD79 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2013 at 5:52am
Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Jesus strikes me as more the Violin type.

but an electric violin...with bones on it...and the neck is Satan's pecker.
LOL 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2013 at 5:28am
Jesus strikes me as more the Violin type.

but an electric violin...with bones on it...and the neck is Satan's pecker.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DirtyD79 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2013 at 5:17am
Judging by how annoying his own fan club is maybe Jesus is avoiding them. Maybe he just wants to relax, watch some Family Guy, drink a few beers, smoke a joint, and play his guitar in peace without everybody buggin' him for something.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EMCEE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 3:09am
Hey, 700 Club idiots!  I found Jesus!  He's at the bottom of the ocean!  He says that you should come to him, with only faith as your scuba gear! 
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 1:59am
Originally posted by Synesthesia Synesthesia wrote:

Hurm. Like Jesus would have anything to do with those 700 club nutwits. Dude would probably chase them like he did those money lenders
Exactly!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Synesthesia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 1:52am
Hurm. Like Jesus would have anything to do with those 700 club nutwits. Dude would probably chase them like he did those money lenders
Is this love big enough to watch over me?
Big enough to let go of me
Without hurting me,
Like the day I learned to swim?-Kate Bush The Fog
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 1:37am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by sgtrock21 sgtrock21 wrote:

No luck on YouTube. This is a recent commercial where the spokesperson states that "the only thing missing is Jesus". Why is there not an amber alert? Why is the latest photo of Jesus not on milk cartons? Just kidding. I think Jesus has been missing since the empty tomb and the ascenction! Over 2,000 years ago. 
 
I don't think they ever found the 900-foot Jesus that Oral Roberts once saw.  I mean, how the hell could that Jesus have gone missing?
 
 
 
Well. Oral (what a strange and easily targeted sexual name) is in the arms of his 900-foot tall Jesus or as I suspect of the religion for profiit TV evangalists is squashed under his foot.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 1:37am
He's in Richard Gere's bum.

Seriously, I saw a sex toy for sale with an "engraved" holy image in it. You have the option of Jesus ascending, or a Madonna.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HerOdyssey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 1:33am
Maybe Jeebus is lost underneath that last guy's subtle and realistic toupé

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 1:16am
Originally posted by sgtrock21 sgtrock21 wrote:

No luck on YouTube. This is a recent commercial where the spokesperson states that "the only thing missing is Jesus". Why is there not an amber alert? Why is the latest photo of Jesus not on milk cartons? Just kidding. I think Jesus has been missing since the empty tomb and the ascenction! Over 2,000 years ago. 
 
I don't think they ever found the 900-foot Jesus that Oral Roberts once saw.  I mean, how the hell could that Jesus have gone missing?
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2013 at 1:02am
Originally posted by sgtrock21 sgtrock21 wrote:

No luck on YouTube. This is a recent commercial where the spokesperson states that "the only thing missing is Jesus". Why is there not an amber alert? Why is the latest photo of Jesus not on milk cartons? Just kidding. I think Jesus has been missing since the empty tomb and the ascenction! Over 2,000 years ago. 
700 club keeps informing us that jesus is still missing. He has still been missnig since the ascension. Jimmie Hoffa is still missing. I don't see commercials concerning that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 11:14pm
I changed the quality less pixelating I finally get to see it, funny stuff!
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 11:02pm
^^^ Great advertising for KFC right across the street, frickin Pig.  Is she giving the windshield wiper a blowjob?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 10:23pm
Originally posted by hump hump wrote:

Speaking of billboards. I remember seeing a billboard between Dallas and Houston that said
 "Stop the porn and be reborn" -Jesus
Blasphemy at its best!

Last I heard, Jesus was on Sepulveda Blvd, getting hot with the women.

Too bad the jagoff shot the video sidways.
 
LOL!
 
unfortunately I can't see much beause the video is constantly pixelating!!!! f**kING DIGITAL MEDIA!!!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 5:26am
Originally posted by sgtrock21 sgtrock21 wrote:

No luck on YouTube. This is a recent commercial where the spokesperson states that "the only thing missing is Jesus". Why is there not an amber alert? Why is the latest photo of Jesus not on milk cartons? Just kidding. I think Jesus has been missing since the empty tomb and the ascenction! Over 2,000 years ago. 
 
 
Quote
Dear 700 Club,
   I would be more than happy to fill in until you find Jesus.
 Yours Truly,
    Buddha
 
LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hump Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 5:10am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

She sounds like Sam Kinison.
 
I wonder if that's her car....
 
 
 
 

lol she does!
I bet it's her's now.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 5:02am
She sounds like Sam Kinison.
 
I wonder if that's her car....
 
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hump Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 4:47am
Speaking of billboards. I remember seeing a billboard between Dallas and Houston that said
 "Stop the porn and be reborn" -Jesus
Blasphemy at its best!

Last I heard, Jesus was on Sepulveda Blvd, getting hot with the women.

Too bad the jagoff shot the video sidways.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 4:44am
They go hand in hand, don't they?
 
 
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 4:43am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

I'm not an atheist, but I do like these billboards.
 
Article:
 
 
Quote Religious billboards are a fairly common sight in San Diego, carrying messages like “Jesus is Lord, Not a Swear Word.” But starting Thursday, San Diegans will be treated to a different message.

The San Diego Coalition of Reason and American Atheists are setting up their own billboard. Drivers on Martin Luther King Jr. freeway (state Route 94) will see the sign near College Avenue that carries the message, “Atheism: A personal relationship with reality.”

The two groups spent $4,000 on the billboard to tell people what the term "atheist" really means, said Debbie Allen, the head of The San Diego Coalition of Reason.

“Some people assume that atheism is an entire world view," she said. "It’s not. It is an opinion about one thing and one thing only. About whether or not there are deities, fairies, goblins, ghosts, any kind of supernatural deity.”

“There’s a big difference between respecting people and respecting their beliefs," he said. "I respect every person, but I do not respect the belief in an invisible man in the sky, because that’s ridiculous.”

I agree. We have freedom of religion and freedom from religion!

 
LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 4:32am
I'm not an atheist, but I do like these billboards.
 
Article:
 
 
Quote Religious billboards are a fairly common sight in San Diego, carrying messages like “Jesus is Lord, Not a Swear Word.” But starting Thursday, San Diegans will be treated to a different message.

The San Diego Coalition of Reason and American Atheists are setting up their own billboard. Drivers on Martin Luther King Jr. freeway (state Route 94) will see the sign near College Avenue that carries the message, “Atheism: A personal relationship with reality.”

The two groups spent $4,000 on the billboard to tell people what the term "atheist" really means, said Debbie Allen, the head of The San Diego Coalition of Reason.

“Some people assume that atheism is an entire world view," she said. "It’s not. It is an opinion about one thing and one thing only. About whether or not there are deities, fairies, goblins, ghosts, any kind of supernatural deity.”

“There’s a big difference between respecting people and respecting their beliefs," he said. "I respect every person, but I do not respect the belief in an invisible man in the sky, because that’s ridiculous.”

 
LOL
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Feb 2013 at 4:20am
No luck on YouTube. This is a recent commercial where the spokesperson states that "the only thing missing is Jesus". Why is there not an amber alert? Why is the latest photo of Jesus not on milk cartons? Just kidding. I think Jesus has been missing since the empty tomb and the ascenction! Over 2,000 years ago. 
EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous
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