Smart & Final

In seven years, I've tried my best to avoid writing about regional commercials on the site.
About these ads, however, I can no longer keep quiet.

Smart & Final is a warehouse grocery chain with locations in Arizona, California, Florida, Nevada, Idaho, Oregon and Washington.

Their ads (which run incessantly in the morning here in LA)
feature this rotten kid wearing a chef hat.
First off, dressing a kid as a grown-up is something advertisers think is cute, but is in fact, NOT.
Second, the kid gives me the f**kin creeps.
He has this wide fish mouth full of all these tiny tiny teeth like some kind of goblin.
Third, the kid can't talk. Hello. Spokesperson. Speech.
You would think the two go hand in hand.



They always have the kid say two to five words,
which he totally mutilates. "Final" becomes "Fine-all".
It all goes back to the Mazda "Zoom Zoom" kid.
It's like, give a kid two words to say and he f**ks both of them up.
Watching this kid attempt to wrap his monster mouth around phrases like "Get smart!" and "Better hurry" is more than I can take in the morning.

Next Smart & Final ad I see, I don't want to see this kid.
I just want to see the chef's hat, charred and smoking.
That would be smart and final.

Nathan, I've asked this question a few times on CIH:  Are we really sure that's a boy?