H8RED OF THAT ASININE BEE!!! |
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Angry McPisseron
Honor Roll Formerly AngryMcPisseron Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Location: Fresno CA. Status: Offline Points: 13345 |
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Posted: 02 Aug 2012 at 2:37pm |
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Here are some ways that I've dealt with some of those pesky advertising mascots over the years:
"Honey Nut Cheerios. A flushing good part of this urine-tainted breakfast!" "Honey Nut Cheerios. It's a Honey Of An Oooohhhh SSSHHHIIIIIIITTTT!!!!" "Extra! Extra! Honey Nut Cheerios Bee dies in an apparent murder!!!"
"DAMMIT!!! IT WON'T GO DOWN!!!" (This bee is a drone {male}, so I was at no risk of being stung {and subsequently envenomated} during bee disposal)
THE STUPID HAND & THAT ASININE BEAR!The Honey Nut bee isn't the only stupid, asinine advertising mascot that needs to die. What about that mutated, malformed hand that sticks its own filthy fingers in your food (who knows where those fingers have been!) and that sickly sweet laundry bear that's aways eating socks in your dryer? These pictures show how I've dealt with the pesky creatures.
Hasta La Vista, you sock eating Snuggles piece of shiit!! DOWN THE SHIITBOWL YOU GO!! The only way Hamburger Helper should be served. A few days ago, a friend of mine was shopping at Wall-Mart when he was attacked by that stupid distended yellow talking pus bladder they have on their TV commercials. In disbelief that the yellow smiley was actually going around in a Zorro costume, knocking shiit over, and madly slashing at price signs, my friend grabbed a tennis racket out of Sporting Goods and whacked that smiley good! It let out a slight squeaky noise, and quietly rolled into the Pet Care products section.
After it crawled away and died in a cat box, I ran to Kitchenwares, grabbed a slotted spatula and scooped the cat box. I went into the employee's can, dumped the dead Smiley into the toilet bowl, flushed, and crammed it down with the toilet brush just to be on the safe side.
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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Poiuyt Power!!!
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Zach6848
Junior Executive Joined: 19 Sep 2010 Location: Amishland, Ohio Status: Offline Points: 764 |
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The Hamburger Helper one made me lose it.
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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LOL these are brilliant!
Any more TV ad characters you'd like to get rid of? |
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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DirtyD79
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Pittsburgh,PA Status: Offline Points: 2005 |
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These are hilarious. Knock that obnoxious bee down a peg or two.
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Mind on My Money, Money on My Beer
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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Any Character from: Generally Excruciatingly Irritating Commercial Organization
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Poiuyt Power!!!
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Angry McPisseron
Honor Roll Formerly AngryMcPisseron Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Location: Fresno CA. Status: Offline Points: 13345 |
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Thank you!!!
I was thinking of those gosh darn-diddly-arn queer Keebler's elves and those gosh darn-diddly-arn queer Rice Crispies elves!
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msmadz
Honor Roll 8+ years on CIH Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: New York Status: Offline Points: 9952 |
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HILARIOUS!!!!!!!
Yes, I lost it on the Hamburger Helper one, too.
Great way to start a Friday!!!
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The artist formerly known as Madawee
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Angry McPisseron
Honor Roll Formerly AngryMcPisseron Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Location: Fresno CA. Status: Offline Points: 13345 |
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I've got a whole website devoted to battles between TV commercial spokespeople, spokesanimals, spokesthings, etc. Let me just grab one that has the Hamburger Helper malformed talking hand as one of the embattled contestents:
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ROUND 1: HAMBURGER HELPER HAND vs. GEICO GECKO.
This epic battle shall take place in a household kitchen. The kitchen is equipped with a double-bowl sink & garbage disposal, refrigerator, range, and numerous small TV infomercial appliances. The kitchen has a moderate infestation of piss ants, cockroaches, and rats. The embattled contestants start by circling one another on the kitchen floor. Gecko tries to take first blood by scampering up the side of the cupboard and grabbing a serrated bread knife out of the knife drawer. He viciously slashes at the three-fingered Hand over and over, but every slash of the gleaming steel blade misses!! The Hand goes under the sink and pulls out a plastic garbage bag, and tries to asphyxiate the Gecko with it. Gecko chews through the bag and escapes! He skitters up the cabinet and across the counter, and grabs a Thunder Stick Pro blender. Gecko turns the Thunder Stick on, and attacks the Hand from behind! He drills the Thunder Stick's blade deep into the Hand's back, but Hand grabs a cabinet handle and pulls himself away. He grabs the knife Gecko dropped earlier, and cuts the cord off the Thunder Stick, permanently neutralizing the threat. Now it's Hand's turn to go on the offensive. He reaches in through the open cabinet under the sink and grabs a bottle of Cascade automatic diswasher liquid. He flips the top and directs a powerful stream of the corrosive gel right at the Gecko, but only hits him in the tail, melting it off. Gecko quickly grows a new one, and hides behind the sugar bowl. Realising the Gecko is self-regenerating, Hand starts preheating the oven in preparation for Gecko's iminent immolation. While Gecko is cautiously peeking out from behind the sugar bowl, he is horrified to see Hand mixing a bowl of Hamburger Helper, and notices he took a marker and crossed out "Hamburger", then added the word "Gecko" on the front of the box. That's really bad news for our little lizard friend!! Gecko gets behind a Showtime Rotisserie and kicks it across the counter, knocking Hand to the floor. He then grabs a bottle of Ronsonol cigarette lighter refill and sprays it toward Hand on floor, but misses Hand by just a tiny bit. Hand slips on the lighter fluid, skids right into a sticky rat trap, and becomes hopelessly stuck! Gecko then skitters down the side of the stove, flips the oven door open, then kicks Hand inside and slams the door; all while exclaiming in that fa6goty accent, "HAND HELPER... MAKES A GREAT MEAL!" Once Hand stops struggling, Gecko grabs the bowl of Hamburger Helper off the counter, dumps it all over the burning Hand, and lets it broil for another hour and 45 minutes. Some quick acrobatics with a Swiffer Wet takes care of the mess on the floor, so nobody but you will ever know of the heroic battle that took place here this evening. AND THE WINNER IS... The GEICO GECKO! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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insanity213
Ad Exec Joined: 16 Mar 2011 Location: Texas Status: Offline Points: 7806 |
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hahaha nice pictures!
They remind me of this Mad TV clip: |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56960 |
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Angry, did you really dump a box of ceral & a carton of milk in the crapper just to get that shot???? And I thought I went out of my way for a joke!!!!! Hope you didn't have to dump it all in there!!!! Funny stuff!!! |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56960 |
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Also.... if one hand was pouring the cereal & the other hand was poring the milk.... who pressed the shutter release button on the camera???????
Methinks you must've had an assistant..... |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Zach6848
Junior Executive Joined: 19 Sep 2010 Location: Amishland, Ohio Status: Offline Points: 764 |
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More importantly, in the making of that image, did you clog your toilet?
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Angry McPisseron
Honor Roll Formerly AngryMcPisseron Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Location: Fresno CA. Status: Offline Points: 13345 |
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Jimbo, yes I dumped real cereal and real milk into a real shiitbowl, but I got them from a foodbank when that photograph was taken in 2001. The cereal smelled extremely stale and had a "sell by" date of sometime in the very late-20th century (1994 or perhaps 1995) and the organic suspension of female bovine mammary compound (milk) was quite sour (it wasn't yet curdled, but it did have a very unpleasant odour!), so instead of just throwing them away, I decided that it would be cute to make a funny picture out of them.
As for having an "assistant" when taking that photograph of both the Cheerios and milk being poured into the water closet, the only "assistance" I had was the 10-second self-timer on the camera.
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56960 |
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Glad to know you didn't waste good food!!!!
What, no tripod???? |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Big Momma
Honor Roll I donated. Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: New Hampshire Status: Offline Points: 4920 |
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Angry,you are a genious!
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