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Favorite Movie Quotes/One Liners

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insanity213 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 6:36pm
There's a thread for our favorite quotes from sitcoms and other primetime shows, so I figured we should also have one for movies.   There are tons of movie one liners and whatnot uploaded to youtube, so feel free to post those as well Wink  After all there are plenty of movie lines that are made great/funny by the actor or actress's delivery.

From In the Mouth of Madness:

"A reality is just what we tell tell each other it is.  Sane and insane could easily switch places ... if the insane were to become the majority, you would find yourself locked in a padded cell wondering what happened to the world."

From American Beauty:

"This hasn't been a marriage for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well guess what? I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he feels horny because you're obviously not gonna help me out in that department!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 6:52pm
Blazing Saddles:  "The sheriff is NEAR" 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 7:00pm
^^ LOL From another Brooks classic, History of the World:



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 7:25pm
Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 7:29pm
Originally posted by Portait of Jennie Portait of Jennie wrote:

Jennie Appleton: I know we were meant to be together. The strands of our lives are woven together and neither the world nor time can tear them apart.
_____________________________

Mrs. Jekes: I just can't understand a man fiddling away his time just painting things. Of course he did shovel some snow to pay part of last month's rent.

Mrs. Bunce: Painting things? Women? Women in the...

Mrs. Jekes: Mrs. Bunce, we agreed that he was a gentleman and gentleman just don't paint "women in the... "

Mrs. Bunce: [flustered] No, of course not.
_________________________

Since time began man has looked into the awesome reaches of infinity and asked the eternal question: What is time? What is life? What is space? What is death? Through a hundred civilizations, philosophers and scientists have come together with answers, but the bewilderment remains... Science tells us that nothing ever dies but only changes, that time itself does not pass but curves around us, and that the past and the future are together at our side for ever. Out of the shadows of knowledge, and out of a painting that hung on a museum wall, comes our story, the truth of which lies not on our screen but in your hearts.
___________________________

Jennie Appleton: How beautiful the world is Eben! The sun goes down in in the same lovely sky. Just as it did yesterday, and will tomorrow.

Eben Adams: When is tomorrow, Jenny?

Jennie Appleton: Does it matter? It's always. This was tomorrow once.


Originally posted by Ma and Pa Kettle Ma and Pa Kettle wrote:


Ma Kettle: Pa, I always seem to be scoldin' you.

Pa Kettle: I know, Ma. You do all the barkin', but it's me that's always in the doghouse.
___________________________________

Ma Kettle: Graduate high school one week, go to work the next. Ain't you ever gonna take a vacation?

Rosie Kettle: Ma, what did I tell you about "ain't"? Now listen, I *am not* taking a vacation, you *are not* taking a vacation, we *are not* taking a vacation, get it?

Ma Kettle: Yep, ain't nobody taking a vacation.
___________________________________________________________

Pa Kettle: [filling in for the preacher] I don't know how to preach a sermon, I can't quote Scriptures, although I know all the words, I wouldn't know how to put them together, but I can speak from my heart. I can say how thankful I am that I have Ma and the kids, I'm thankful for the food we get nd the clothes we wear. A lot of folks are always asking God for something instead of being thankful for what they got. I figure if He wants you to have it, it'll come to you because you deserve it. He gave us the mountains, the trees, the water and the fertile land. Gave men the ability to make things and grow things. He put gold and silver, coal and oil under the ground, all man has to do is dig them up. Why I figure that He kind of wants you to help yourself a little, He don't want to do it all. If I found out right now there was oil under my land, would I be lazy? No sir, right away I'd get Geoduck and Crowbar to start digging an oil well. The whole world could be a better place to live in if everybody would do like I do. Every morning when I wake up I say "I thank you God, for letting me live to see another day" and at night when I go to sleep I say "Dear God, please let me live to see another tomorrow so I can prove to You that I can be a better man than I have been today." Amen.
_______________________________________________

Pa Kettle: Three bathrooms and I still can't get in.

Ma Kettle: Ya got to expect that when ya got 15 kids.

Pa Kettle: Maybe we should have had less kids and more bathrooms.
______________________________

Ma Kettle: [looks at the low cut dress on the hostess] That's a pretty dress you've got on... too bad the top wasn't finished in time for the party.
_____________________________

Ma Kettle: Pa, you're lazier than that old hound dog we used to have.

Pa Kettle: Which one?

Ma Kettle: The one that used to lean against the wall when she barked.
_________________________________

Elizabeth Parker: You know, Ma, I bet you once had an hourglass figure.

Ma Kettle: Yeah, but the sand sure shifted.


Originally posted by Duck Soup Duck Soup wrote:


Rufus T. Firefly: I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
______________________

Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, uh, I suppose you would think me a sentimental old fluff, but, uh, would you mind giving me lock of your hair?

Mrs. Teasdale: A lock of my hair? Wh-why, I had no idea.

Rufus T. Firefly: I'm letting you off easy: I was going to ask for the whole wig.
_______________________

Rufus T. Firefly: Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.

Chicolini: I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll take five and ten in Woolworth.
_________________________

Rufus T. Firefly: Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove.
____________________________

Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?

Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.

Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.

Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.

Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.

Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.

Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
____________________________

Bob Roland: General Smith reports a gas attack. He wants to know what to do.

Rufus T. Firefly: Tell him to take a teaspoonful of bicarbonate of soda and a half a glass of water.
_________________________

Mrs. Teasdale: Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.

Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
_________________________

Rufus T. Firefly: I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
_______________________________

Rufus T. Firefly: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.


Originally posted by Animal Crackers Animal Crackers wrote:


Capt. Spaulding: [to Mrs. Rittenhouse and Mrs. Whitehead] Let's get married.

Mrs. Whitehead: All of us?

Capt. Spaulding: All of us.

Mrs. Whitehead: Why, that's bigamy.

Capt. Spaulding: Yes, and it's big of me too.
_____________________________

Capt. Spaulding: You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way.
_________________________

Capt. Spaulding: Signor Ravelli's first selection will be "Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping" with a male chorus.
___________________________

Capt. Spaulding: I'm sick of these conventional marriages. One woman and one man was good enough for your grandmother, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Nobody, not even your grandfather.
___________________________

Capt. Spaulding: You know, you two girls have everything. You're tall and short and slim and stout and blonde and brunette. And that's just the kind of a girl I crave.


Yeah....I ended up looking up one quote to get the wording right...and this happened....
Banana!
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BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 7:36pm
My Cousin Vinny:

"Lisa I don't need this. I swear to GOD I do not need this right now.  I got a judge that's just achin' to throw me in jail.  An IDIOT who wants to fight me for 200 dollars.  Slaughtered pigs, giant loud whistles! I ain't slept in 5 days! I got no money, a dress code problem, AND, a little murder case, which in the balance holds the lives of 2 innocent kids ... not to mention, YOUR *STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* biological clock!  My career! YOUR LIFE! OUR MARRIAGE! AND LET ME SEE, WHAT ELSE WE CAN PILE ON? IS THERE ANY MORE SH!T WE CAN PILE ON TO THE TOP OF THE OUTCOME OF THIS CASE?!? IS IT POSSIBLE?!??"


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 8:30pm
Another  Blazing Saddles..."It's twue. it's twue!"

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid..."Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?"

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 8:38pm
Back To The Future

Doc Emmet Brown "One point twenty one jigawats? Great Scott where am I going find something with that type of power?"

Marty McFly "But Doc, we don't have enough road to get up to 88 MPH!"

Doc Emmet Brown "Roads? Where were going we don't need any roads!"
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 8:54pm
Originally posted by Ad nauseous Ad nauseous wrote:

Back To The Future

Doc Emmet Brown "One point twenty one jigawats? Great Scott where am I going find something with that type of power?"

Marty McFly "But Doc, we don't have enough road to get up to 88 MPH!"

Doc Emmet Brown "Roads? Where were going we don't need any roads!"


"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour? You're gonna see some serious sh*t."

"Ronald Reagan, the actor???? Then who's Vice President, Jerry Lewis???"


LOL

From The Rookie:

Clint Eastwood: "There's gotta be a hundred reasons why I don't blow you away, but right now I can't think of one."

That's just a vintage Eastwood one liner LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 9:15pm
Heat:

Neil: "I dunno what you're doing.  Remember Jimmy from the yard used to say - you wanna be making moves on the street, have no attachments. Allow nothing to be in your life that you cannot walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner. Remember that?"

Chris: "For me the sun rises and sets with her, man."

Up in Smoke:

Chong: "Hey be careful with that sh*t man."
Cheech: "Awww, what is it heavvvy stuff man? Will it blow me away?"
Chong: "You better put your seatbelt on man I'll tell you that much."

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote regulus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2013 at 9:41pm
Airport:

Joe Patroni (George Kennedy) "Hold on, we're going for broke!"  "That's one nice thing about the 707, it can do anything but read."

Eva Quonsett (Helen Hayes) "I liked the old way better"
Where will you be when the lights go out on August 21st?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NiteRaidah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2013 at 12:34am
"He knocked over another ATM.  This time at knife point.  He needs your legal advice."
[Fletcher picks up phone]
"STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE!"
I have 168 characters remaining.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2013 at 4:47am
Paulo: Put up your hands!
Hans (Christopher Walken): No.
Paulo: What?
Hans: I said no.
Paulo: Why not?
Hans: Because I don't want to.
Paulo: But... I have a gun...
Hans: So?  I don't care.
Paulo: It doesn't make any sense!
Hans: Too bad!
 -(Seven Psychopaths)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2013 at 6:26pm

Martin Q. Blank: You must've done some *naughty* sh*t there, Bart.

[flips dossier over to him]

Martin Q. Blank: There's a contract out on your life. Believe me. I was hired to kill you, but I'm not going to do it. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or because I have a newfound respect for life.

Mr. Grocer: [Dan Akroyd, following in van] That punk is either in love with that guy's daughter or he has a newfound respect for life.

("Gross Point Blank")
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2013 at 10:20pm
From one of the best movies ever made:
"Some men get the world, others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona"
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"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2013 at 10:52pm
Banana!
BANANA!!
BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jul 2013 at 3:09pm
Originally posted by NiteRaidah NiteRaidah wrote:

"He knocked over another ATM.  This time at knife point.  He needs your legal advice."
[Fletcher picks up phone]
"STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE!"


LOLLOL


Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Fletcher: "Depends on how long you were following me!"

And:



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote msmadz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jul 2013 at 3:49pm
As Good As It Gets:
 
Melvin Udall:  Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City "Sailor wanna hump-hump" bar, or is it getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jul 2013 at 7:21pm
Blade:  "Some mother****ers are always tryin' to ice skate uphill."

I saw Blade opening night at the theater, and the entire (packed) audience loved that one LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bwestfall Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jul 2013 at 11:42pm
Another Butch Cassidy & Sundance Kid:  getting ready to jump off a cliff--
 
Sundance won't do it but finally says, "I can't swim!"
 
Butch replies, "Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you."
 
 
 
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof:  I like the part where Big Daddy (b. ives) & Brick (p. newman) keep throwing around the word "mendacity,"  and "lies and liars."  And I love Maggie's description of Mae and Goober's bratty kids as, "little, no-neck monsters" in her excellent Southern accent.
 
 
 
 
There are just too many to list!
A new study finds that people who are chipper & happy live longer. Which is surprising because people who aren't chipper & happy want to kill people who are always chipper & happy. David Letterman
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2013 at 4:36pm
The Godfather:

Michael: "My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse.  Luca held a gun to his head and my father assured him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract."
---------------------------------------------
Clemenza: "Leave the gun, take the cannoli."


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2013 at 4:43pm
Originally posted by bwestfall bwestfall wrote:



Another Butch Cassidy & Sundance Kid:  getting ready to jump off a cliff--
 
Sundance won't do it but finally says, "I can't swim!"
 
Butch replies, "Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you."
 
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof:  I like the part where Big Daddy (b. ives) & Brick (p. newman) keep throwing around the word "mendacity,"  and "lies and liars."  And I love Maggie's description of Mae and Goober's bratty kids as, "little, no-neck monsters" in her excellent Southern accent.
 
There are just too many to list!
FINALLY! Someone brought up Cat on a Hot Tin Roof!



Double lucky. It's the first bit after the intro.
Banana!
BANANA!!
BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!
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Psycho:

It's not like my mother's a maniac or anything.  She just goes a little mad sometimes ..... we all go a little mad sometimes.  Haven't you?

Vacation, after Clark tells Rusty how Christie Brinkley's character was a "pool waitress"

Clark: "You understand, don't you Russ?"
Rusty: "Umm sure I understand ... Do you think Mom will buy it?"

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote msmadz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2013 at 8:12pm
The Big Lebowski:
 

Maude:  What do you do for recreation?

Dude:  Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
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